Business owners are often advised to fire their worst customers. Consumers should do the same when it comes to companies that aren’t serving them properly.

 Entrepreneurs quickly learn that a small percentage of their customers cause most of their problems. These troublesome clients complain, nitpick, drag their heels on payment and refuse to honor contracts. Any money they bring in is more than outweighed by the hassles and frustration they cause. Firing them can feel scary, but frees up resources that can be used to grow truly profitable accounts.

Consumers, and I think particularly women consumers, too often make excuses or simply put up with companies that offer lousy service or otherwise abuse their customers: banks that fee us to death, cable providers that break their promises, businesses that waste our time.

I recently fired a veterinary clinic that took good care of our cats and lousy care of us. Waits of 45 minutes or more for appointments were common, and even trying to pay the bill was an ordeal. During my last visit, I was kept waiting along with an octogenarian who looked traumatized and exhausted. He stood there, with his credit card in hand, only to be ignored by every staffer who passed him by. I left after 20 minutes, only to get a snippy phone call about why I hadn’t waited to get my bill. For all I know, the old man is still there.

A friend’s referral led me to a veterinary practice that couldn’t be more different than the one I patronized for too long. Waits are brief, the care is compassionate, the desk staff is professional and efficient.

 A girlfriend had a similar experience with a doctor’s office. She put up with unreturned phone calls, billing mix-ups and a staff with a “couldn’t care less” attitude for nearly a decade because she liked the doctor himself. But finally there was one unreturned call too many. She found a new doctor whom she likes just as much, and whose office actually functions as it should.

Why did we wait? I asked her. She just shrugged. Because we forget we have choices, she said.

We do. Let’s use them. Fire somebody today.

Have you been bullied at work?  If so, you’re not alone. 

Tara Parker-Pope reported in her NY Times column last week that 37% of Americans have been bullied on the job.   Her blog, Well, offered a quiz to help you figure out whether you were a victim of bullying. 

It was fairly obvious that you have been bullied if you answer “yes” to some of the questions,  for example, “Been yelled at or shouted at in a hostile manner?” Others were more subtle, “Been given little or no feedback about your performance?”

As I read the comments, it became clear that many people ignore bullies because they don’t know how to respond to them.  Or at least what to say out loud…But if you don’t deal with them,  of course, they don’t stop – they get worse.  

Kathleen offered some terrific advice the other day about how to play hardball including some “comebacks” from her books, The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics. 

Here are some other ideas:

1. Enlist allies.  Find others who have also been bullied by the same person and collaborate to plan a strategy about how to respond.  It’s always easier to confront a bully when you have support.
2. Figure out what leverage you may have – is there any action that you can take that will scare the bully into behaving better?  For example,  if he/she is stupid enough to leave an email trail, save the emails (if you think that nobody is that stupid, consider Eliot Spitzer).  Then you can let him/her know that you have documentation that puts him/her/the company at risk.  Note well: don’t back a bully into a corner unless you have proof and are willing to use it.
3. If you don’t think you can prove the bullying behavior and are convinced that the bully is there to stay, plan your exit strategy.  Don’t wait.  If you do, you will be too exhausted and demoralized to put your best foot forward for another position.

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, career derailment, Fairness at work, gaining confidence, health issues at work, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate

Boss get you nervous?  Focus more on the content of your boss’s message and less on how it is delivered.

At least not if you’re working for Donald Trump.  Piers Morgan’s victory over Trace Adkins as the winner of the Celebrity Apprentice contest shouldn’t be confused with true leadership.  I know leadership and Piers, you’re no leader.  Yes, he made a lot of money… but plenty of people do the same and they’re not leaders.  They’re lone rangers.  Others don’t want to work with them.  They demean and dispirit the very people who depend on them and who they depend on for success.  Their style works in the short-term but they fail to get long-term trust, cooperation, and commitment.  If you’re thinking you might be too nice for the corner office I don’t recommend that you follow Piers’ lead — the advice Carol and Kathleen gave you in this week’s posts is far sounder – and you can still look yourself in the mirror. 

TAGS: Celebrity Apprentice, corner office, Donald Trump, Leadership, NBC, Piers Morgan, Trace Adkins

Warm up a sterile office with a few family pictures or art that is meaningful to you – but don’t overdo it by making your office look like your living room. 

Carol’s insights about leadership led me to think about this topic. As Carol explains, there are a variety of leadership forms and each is more or less suited to particular types of situations. None works for all. But I learned as a youngish woman that having an edge and people knowing you can employ it is very useful.  Most of the time, being able to “do hardball,” as the title above implies, is more important and more useful than doing it. There is something to be said for keeping unsavory people a little unsure of you, not quite able to predict if you will counter in kind or cleverly an insult or offense. They tread somewhat lighter, watch what they say a little bit more carefully. And that can pay big political and professional dividends.

I devoted a fair amount of space in The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics to examples of comebacks — ways of asserting yourself and advancing your ideas in the face of opposition. Some are graceful, others clever, still others direct and some aggressive. Versatility is key, especially if you work in a highly political environment. Knowing how to lead without being commanding is critical to success. Knowing how to hit back when it really counts is too.

TAGS: Leadership, playing hardball, Politics, versatility

The recent Bear Stearns debacle can teach us many lessons but the one I’d like to address here is Jamie Dimon’s negotiating style.  In Her Place at the Table: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success, we cited a Fortune article that described his approach:

“What do I think of our competitors?” Dimon shouts by way of intro. A slim, handsome 6-footer with iron-gray hair, Dimon yanks off his turquoise tie and chops the air like a karate master. Then, in what seems to be a masterful tonal switch, he turns from pep-rally arrogance to locker-room inspiration. “Winning isn’t about patents or your IQ or where you went to school,” he says, punching out the clauses in his staccato Queens accent. “It’s about one thing—how much you want it!” The crowd is his. As the lead-in to the article suggests, “He’s tough. He’s loud. He’s irrepressible.” He is also irrepressibly male—and characterized by familiar code words.

We were writing about the trap that can befall a woman when, in a leadership role, she is reluctant to ask for help because she is concerned that doing so will be perceived as a sign of weakness.  She is not imagining things - traditionally, powerful leaders are supposed to have all the answers.  They don’t have to “work well with others” because they have the power to force the results they want.

But we all know that the new competencies of leadership require a different approach.  As Luci Knight of Working Mother Media told me at the National Association for Female Executive Luncheon today to honor the Top 30 Companies for Executive Women, “The CEO title no longer means ‘Chief Enforcement Officer’.”

It doesn’t seem that Dimon has changed his approach to leadership – or to negotiation- much since then.  According to the New York Times, he was still pounding the table last week, defending the $2 a share price JP Morgan Chase had offered for Bear Stearns. 

As you may know, the price was so low that it caused a hue and cry from employees and shareholders alike.  So Dimon had to go back to the bargaining table – this time, he offered a price of $10 a share.  Only time will tell whether that will stick; lawsuits are being filed as I write this.

But what we do know even now is that hardball tactics don’t work very well when you are trying to make a deal.  Even when you have the power to force an outcome that you want (talk about power – how many of us have the support of the federal government behind us when we sit at the bargaining table?), it’s better to consider the interests of the involved parties. 

Just consider how the employees who remain with Bear Stearns may feel about their new boss (please note that Dimon had to make telephone calls to other investment houses to ask them not to hire those interviewing for jobs!).  If the deal sticks, I wonder if Dimon will be anxious to commission an employee satisfaction survey?

TAGS: bear-stearns, hardball tactics, Jamie Dimon, power

Forgive yourself for a past mistake.  Allow yourself to be human in a world that all too often demands perfection.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Psychology suggests that if you want your opinion to be widely accepted all you have to do is keep repeating it.  Researchers found that if you repeat a viewpoint three times it’s just as likely to be considered a “popular” opinion as if three people each express the same viewpoint once.  I don’t think nagging your child or spouse three times to do something you want counts here, but I do think we women may not be as persistent as we could be in expressing ourselves.  If you’re in a meeting and your idea is overlooked, present it again using slightly different words.  Or force the issue by stating your opinion then asking for affirmation on it, “I recommend we begin recruiting at Harvard.  Would anyone have a problem if I started the ball rolling with their career placement center?” 

Now if you put an idea out and it’s ignored only to be picked up by someone else in the room who gets credit for it, that’s a different story.  The secret here is to diplomatically call attention to the fact that the idea was originally yours.  Try this, “Joe, thank you for coming back around to my idea.  I’d like to better explain what I meant.” Then launch right into your clarification without missing a beat.  As I always say, a woman’s got to learn how to tell people to go to hell so that they look forward to the trip. 

TAGS: business communication, getting heard, stealing ideas

Organize your communications into headlines and 2 – 3 supporting data points.  The most important thing you want someone to remember should be the first thing out of your mouth.  Keep your data points brief.  Short sounds confident.