Being Able to “Do Hardball” Is More Important Than Doing It
Carol’s insights about leadership led me to think about this topic. As Carol explains, there are a variety of leadership forms and each is more or less suited to particular types of situations. None works for all. But I learned as a youngish woman that having an edge and people knowing you can employ it is very useful. Most of the time, being able to “do hardball,” as the title above implies, is more important and more useful than doing it. There is something to be said for keeping unsavory people a little unsure of you, not quite able to predict if you will counter in kind or cleverly an insult or offense. They tread somewhat lighter, watch what they say a little bit more carefully. And that can pay big political and professional dividends.
I devoted a fair amount of space in The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics to examples of comebacks — ways of asserting yourself and advancing your ideas in the face of opposition. Some are graceful, others clever, still others direct and some aggressive. Versatility is key, especially if you work in a highly political environment. Knowing how to lead without being commanding is critical to success. Knowing how to hit back when it really counts is too.
TAGS: Leadership, playing hardball, Politics, versatility
Very sage advice. I have read your books and find your examples of comebacks very illuminating and constructive. My problem is that “when in the situation” to learn how to be able to execute what you preach successfully. Any tips on how to learn to practice to “do hardball”
Comment by mac — March 27, 2008 @ 11:17 pm
Mac: Here are a few thoughts. First, you have to know your work arena in terms of type — minimally, moderately, highly or pathologically political. The ability to play hardball is required more often in the latter two types. I describe these in TSH.
OK. So you’re in one of these. Then you have to look at whether you have contributed to patterns in which you are maligned or in some way undermined, especially in public. In other words are you letting it continue because you don’t want to “make waves”?
First, check perceptions with others you trust. Is the person out to get you, using you for humor because you’re an easy target, or perhaps doing this kind of thing to most people. If he/she has been targeting you, then ask these trusted, experienced others what they’d do. This is a way of getting advice but also lining up the ducks behind you so you aren’t going on the attack without backup.
Consider the pros and cons. Also, what’s the worst that could happen? Should you talk to the person in private — issue a warning. If he doesn’t heed it, then you’ve at least given him/her a chance.
Review some of the comebacks in TSH and IAP books. Prioritize them in terms of what you feel you could say or do next time or talk with people you respect at work or home to come up with ones suited to your office and you. Sometimes all that is needed is a silence with a warning frown to shake up cowardly attackers using you for their benefit. Other times a phrase such as, “You do seem to derive joy from putting me down,” or “Could you repeat that please. I want to be sure I was insulted.”
What’s worse? Remaining silent and allowing someone to walk all over you, or saying or doing something that gives them pause. A steady diet of either isn’t good. But the absence of the second is a good way to let others decide your future by demeaning your credibility. If you overdo the response, consider apologizing. Maybe. Or simply learn from it. Worse is doing nothing. And, in this case the problem has been going on for some time.
This is a start. I’ll go on if you like. If you want to post a specific example — either yours or something that happened to someone else– that’d help. We could take it from there. And Lois, Carol and Liz might want to jump in too.
Comment by Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon — March 28, 2008 @ 10:14 am
What has helped me the most when I have found myself in these situations is learning to build relationships and have “trusted” advisors to discuss the course of action like you state above. Checking perceptions is very helpful and constructive. I didn’t really internalize how important having trusted advisors at work is until late in my career. It took opening myself up to the advice of other successful women leaders in different fields to teach me this. I have been watching in fascination the presidential race and would really love to know what you (Lois, Carol, Liz and Kathleen) would advise Hilary. She seems to be taking such personal hits and it is not clear to me what the right type of “hardball” is that she should be practicing.
Comment by mac — March 31, 2008 @ 9:17 am