Stop on your way home tonight and pick up a bouquet of flowers to enjoy all week-end long.  You deserve it. 

“You can’t predict the future, but you can create it.” Peter Drucker. 

Apropos to Carol’s blog earlier this month about letting go of toxic or unproductive relationships, the other day I asked a good friend for advice on how to handle a relationship with someone who had ignored me and my calls for years (nearly four years to be exact) and now wanted to pick it up as if nothing had ever happened.  I knew I didn’t want to renew the relationship, but wasn’t sure how much I should explain about my feelings related to what transpired in the intervening years rather than just make myself unavailable next time she called.  My friend looked at me and said, “Lois, explaining your feelings would be like casting pearls before swine.”

I had heard that phrase before but never knew what it really meant.  So I did a little digging and found it’s a biblical term that means offering something of great value to you, to someone who won’t appreciate it.  It hit the nail on the head.  I thought of how often I, like many other women, share what’s of value – time, feelings, thoughts, assistance, etc. — with people who have no appreciation for it.  It’s not that we should hoarde or shouldn’t share our “pearls” but rather that we should differentiate with whom we share them and with whom it would just be valuable resources wasted.  As it is, most of us have so little time to call our own, if we’re going to go out of our way it should at least make a difference or be appreciated (even if it’s silently appreciated — I’m not suggesting we need kudos for everything we do).  As for sharing my feelings with the former friend — next time she contacts me I think I’ll just say, “I don’t have time to get together, but I do wish you well.” 

TAGS: casting pearls before swine, differentiating relationships, Friendships, letting go of relationships

Listen carefully to what people want and deliver that rather than what you think people need. 

The Pink May/June issue includes the results of a poll the magazine did of more than 2500 women who attended a series of conferences in six cities during 2007. Among the findings is that 98% of those polled believed that they have a responsibility to help other women.

So, if you too feel a responsibility to make the workplace a better place for other women, don’t just think about it, take action.

• If your company has a formal mentoring program, consider participating in it. If it doesn’t, think about starting one. Or at least mentor another woman on an informal basis.
• If your company has a women’s affinity group, join it. Volunteer to help in whatever capacity you can.
• If you lead people, be sure you offer the same opportunities to the women on your team as you do to the men. Don’t be blindsided by the gender schemas that affect both men and women.

What other suggestions do you have? What kinds of help have you given to other woman? Let’s make each other’s day!

TAGS: competition, Cultural diversity, look and sound of leadership, servant leadership, Volunteering at work, Women at Work, Women In the Professions, women leaders, women not trusting women, women role models, women working for women

Start planning a summer BBQ for your colleagues and their families.  Make it a pot luck so that everyone feels part of the process.

Get in the habit of living consciously by asking yourself periodically throughout the day, “What am I feeling at this moment?” 

While Hillary Clinton has received praise from people for her willingness to fight and not give up, it’s hard not to wonder whether people are looking at how acceptable it has become to insult women in the press. Surely there will be spillover to the workplace if people who serve as "senior analysts" for once reputable stations like CNN continue refer to Clinton in vile, derogatory ways. I’m not going to write something long about this. It’s just worth wondering whether women will find themselves dealing with more sexism.  After all, that’s what went on in election process in the mainstream media. If it does increase at work, it will be difficult for women to call upon the efforts of feminists to support them as in many quarters they’ve been dismissed as humming an old tune — not in touch with the times — still holding on to grudges when their issues no longer exist. Will we wake up soon and see that indeed people in our culture have become comfortable with patronizing, dismissing, and insulting women because of their gender? I hope not. But watching what has been going on, it’s hard not to think it could indeed happen — especially if women are not paying sufficient attention because they’d rather think those days are over or if they let insults pass to avoid appearing oversensitive. More productive, as always, is nipping put-downs in the bud with a well-turned phrase such as "Maybe you’d like to rephrase that."

TAGS: Hillary Clinton, media bias, sexism, Women at Work

Spend your time as carefully as you spend your money.  Once it’s gone, there’s no replacing it. 

When leading a meeting, use the last five minutes to discuss how the group can make the next meeting even more effective.