Comments on: Is It About Winning or How You Play the Game? http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/01/is-it-about-winning-or-how-you-play-the-game/ Four Women For Women Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:34:40 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Dr. Lois Frankel http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/01/is-it-about-winning-or-how-you-play-the-game/comment-page-1/#comment-133 Dr. Lois Frankel Sun, 11 May 2008 18:18:58 +0000 http://thethinpinkline.com/?p=178#comment-133 It is indeed a dilemma, Simone. I recently read an article that said most girls who start off playing sports at a young age drop out by the time they're teenagers. So in some ways we never really get all the lessons we need to learn about playing to win. Also, just this morning, I read that the female brain is wired to avoid conflict, so when we do play sports and conflicts arise we're more likely to drop out than boys/men. A few tips I give to women around your questions include: 1. If you're going to take on extra work to show you're a team player, make sure you let people KNOW you're going out of your way. Don't make it look seamless. Say something like, "I'm willing to take this on for the sake of the team." or "It's going to involve more overtime than I would want right now but if it means the team succeeds I'll do it." 2. Aim for high profile extra work. Sure, we all have to do grunt work now and then for which we get no credit, but balance that out by taking on extra assignments that put you in front of executive management or clients. 3. Learn to say, "Not my turn." If you know you've been a team player who has taken on extra work and it's now someone else's turn, there's nothing wrong with saying, "Given that I've worked the past few nights on the XYZ project, I believe it's someone else's turn to show their team commitment. I'm happy to take my turn again when it comes around to me once more." It is indeed a dilemma, Simone. I recently read an article that said most girls who start off playing sports at a young age drop out by the time they’re teenagers. So in some ways we never really get all the lessons we need to learn about playing to win. Also, just this morning, I read that the female brain is wired to avoid conflict, so when we do play sports and conflicts arise we’re more likely to drop out than boys/men.

A few tips I give to women around your questions include:

1. If you’re going to take on extra work to show you’re a team player, make sure you let people KNOW you’re going out of your way. Don’t make it look seamless. Say something like, “I’m willing to take this on
for the sake of the team.” or “It’s going to involve more overtime than I would want right now but if it means the team succeeds I’ll do it.”

2. Aim for high profile extra work. Sure, we all have to do grunt work now and then for which we get no credit, but balance that out by taking on extra assignments that put you in front of executive management or clients.

3. Learn to say, “Not my turn.” If you know you’ve been a team player who has taken on extra work and it’s now someone else’s turn, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “Given that I’ve worked the past few nights on the XYZ project, I believe it’s someone else’s turn to show their team commitment. I’m happy to take my turn again when it comes around to me once more.”

]]> By: Simone Suter http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/01/is-it-about-winning-or-how-you-play-the-game/comment-page-1/#comment-132 Simone Suter Sat, 10 May 2008 14:47:56 +0000 http://thethinpinkline.com/?p=178#comment-132 Yes, having a bit of trouble with this myself at work. I wonder if, and I don't mean to generalize, if team sports in the work ethic should be considered a basic training. The point being; when is my action going to benefit my team and when is it going to undermine me ?As in taking on an extra work load? Yes, having a bit of trouble with this myself at work. I wonder if, and I don’t mean to generalize, if team sports in the work ethic should be considered a basic training. The point being; when is my action going to benefit my team and when is it going to undermine me ?As in taking on an extra work load?

]]> By: Carol Frohlinger, JD http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/01/is-it-about-winning-or-how-you-play-the-game/comment-page-1/#comment-112 Carol Frohlinger, JD Fri, 02 May 2008 21:29:44 +0000 http://thethinpinkline.com/?p=178#comment-112 Lois - how interesting; I saw that story too and thought only about how these women were re-defining the definition of "winning". But you make a good point - there's a big difference between a game and the world of work. Lois – how interesting; I saw that story too and thought only about how these women were re-defining the definition of “winning”. But you make a good point – there’s a big difference between a game and the world of work.

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