Comments on: Letting Go Is Hard to Do http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/05/letting-go-is-hard-to-do/ Four Women For Women Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:13:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Dr. Lois Frankel http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/05/letting-go-is-hard-to-do/#comment-214 Dr. Lois Frankel Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:52:53 +0000 http://thethinpinkline.com/?p=201#comment-214 Anna - With your presentation only 3 days away, I'd say your colleague is either a procrastinator or someone who does not like to collaborate. Either way, you need to be certain that you are 100% on your game when you present your portion. What's not clear to me is if (1) she will present first or if you will and (2) if you are concerned about potential overlap of content. Obviously, if you go first this is not of as much concern but you still want to look well-coordinated or else you both look bad. Therefore, here's what I would do: 1. Send your colleague an e-mail indicating that you didn't hear back from her so you're going to go ahead and prepare a solo presentation. 2. Let her know that you'd be happy to share what you have prepared if that would be helpful to her. If you would like to see her presentation ahead of time to avoid overlap, be honest and ask for it for this reason. 3. Be professional and collegial. You can't control her behavior but you can control yours so make sure you "take the high road." 4. The day of the presentation be publicly supportive of her. Now go for it! Anna - With your presentation only 3 days away, I’d say your colleague is either a procrastinator or someone who does not like to collaborate. Either way, you need to be certain that you are 100% on your game when you present your portion. What’s not clear to me is if (1) she will present first or if you will and (2) if you are concerned about potential overlap of content. Obviously, if you go first this is not of as much concern but you still want to look well-coordinated or else you both look bad.

Therefore, here’s what I would do:

1. Send your colleague an e-mail indicating that you didn’t hear back from her so you’re going to go ahead and prepare a solo presentation.
2. Let her know that you’d be happy to share what you have prepared if that would be helpful to her.
If you would like to see her presentation ahead of time to avoid overlap, be honest and ask for it for this reason.
3. Be professional and collegial. You can’t control her behavior but you can control yours so make sure you “take the high road.”
4. The day of the presentation be publicly supportive of her.

Now go for it!

]]> By: Anna http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/05/letting-go-is-hard-to-do/#comment-213 Anna Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:31:56 +0000 http://thethinpinkline.com/?p=201#comment-213 Hello Lois, I incidently came across your book 'See Jane Lead'. I am a typical nice girl of your book. Your book has been very very inspirational. I am working towards changing my image and getting bolder. I am 33. This is the 1st time I am stepping out and participating in a volunteering organisation. I am still working on identifying my strengths and weaknesses. I am faced with a very simple situation, but am unable to decide the right course of action. I am giving a presentation with another lady. I called up 3 weeks before the presentation to have a meeting to get the rough draft ready for the presentation. The other person cancelled the meeting. I expected the other lady to call back and fix another meeting. The presentation is in 3 days and I am still waiting. Should I call and finalize the presentation, or let her give her presentation and I give my presentation? I don't want to give her the impression that I am unable to prepare a presention by myself and am looking forwards to her support, by calling again. I cant take a strong decision as I have to work with her in the future. She is being nominated the president of the association an I am being nominated the vice-president. Could you please advice... With regards, Anna. Hello Lois,

I incidently came across your book ‘See Jane Lead’. I am a typical nice girl of your book. Your book has been very very inspirational. I am working towards changing my image and getting bolder. I am 33. This is the 1st time I am stepping out and participating in a volunteering organisation. I am still working on identifying my strengths and weaknesses.

I am faced with a very simple situation, but am unable to decide the right course of action.

I am giving a presentation with another lady. I called up 3 weeks before the presentation to have a meeting to get the rough draft ready for the presentation. The other person cancelled the meeting. I expected the other lady to call back and fix another meeting. The presentation is in 3 days and I am still waiting. Should I call and finalize the presentation, or let her give her presentation and I give my presentation? I don’t want to give her the impression that I am unable to prepare a presention by myself and am looking forwards to her support, by calling again.

I cant take a strong decision as I have to work with her in the future.

She is being nominated the president of the association an I am being nominated the vice-president. Could you please advice…

With regards,
Anna.

]]> By: Dr. Lois Frankel http://thethinpinkline.com/2008/05/05/letting-go-is-hard-to-do/#comment-117 Dr. Lois Frankel Tue, 06 May 2008 18:05:21 +0000 http://thethinpinkline.com/?p=201#comment-117 Carol, you and I are so on the same page about this. As a matter of fact I posted an upcoming "Coaching Tip of the Day" on the same subject for later this month. As we get older there are more and more people we've come across in our lives who we can either choose to stay in touch with or choose to let go. I think it's important to recognize how much you appreciate what someone once added to your life (and hopefully vice versa) and be able to graciously let go of the relationship. Yes, it is hard, but it's possible. Carol, you and I are so on the same page about this. As a matter of fact I posted an upcoming “Coaching Tip of the Day” on the same subject for later this month. As we get older there are more and more people we’ve come across in our lives who we can either choose to stay in touch with or choose to let go. I think it’s important to recognize how much you appreciate what someone once added to your life (and hopefully vice versa) and be able to graciously let go of the relationship. Yes, it is hard, but it’s possible.

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