You’ve probably been stuck in traffic as we were yesterday, driving from Manhattan to Long Island on the Long Island Expressway, a highway that has been called “the world’s longest parking lot”.  As my husband drove (he is an excellent driver- no sudden stops or gratuitous lane changing), I started thinking about negotiation - believe it or not, I made some connections:

1. We’ve driven this same route many, many times before; we know the road. When you have experience, you can anticipate the bottlenecks and adjust accordingly.  Even when you are in new territory, you can check the map before you begin the journey.  When you negotiate, think about the issues that are likely to cause a slowdown and some creative ways you might be able to get around them.
2. Speeding up and slowing down usually doesn’t get you there any faster- and directly correlates to spikes in blood pressure.  Trying to get too much done in any negotiation meeting also can backfire - a steady pace allows you and the other party to accomplish more in less time, with less stress.
3. While you don’t know which of the other drivers will behave badly, you can be sure that some will. Reacting in kind is not only counter-productive, it is downright dangerous.  If emotions weren’t such a big factor in negotiations, people would much more easily come to agreement (consider divorce settlements as an extreme example!).  Before you start a negotiation, know your own emotional triggers and try to learn as much as you can about the other party’s as well.

While these tips won’t make the traffic (or the issues to be resolved) magically disappear, getting there will be easier.

TAGS: negotiators, women and anger