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    August 26, 2008

    She Was No Michelle O

    Filed in: Coaching Tips, The Thin Pink Line Examples by Dr. Lois Frankel @ 12:05 pm

    As a Think Pink Line blogger you know I’m a fan of Mrs. O.  So, I was anxious to hear her speech last night.  Well, what can I say?  Once a coach, always a coach.  I thought she did well, but she didn’t hit a home run.  Why?  Because she was over-coached.  Because she read what was on the teleprompter.  Because they coached the fire right out of her (I don’t think TPL blogger Marilyn Z. could call her angry based on that presentation). 

    Mrs. O’s speech was well choreographed, she hit on all the points her handlers wanted her to make, but in the process her essence was lost.  The headline of an article in The International Herald Tribune says it all, “The careful rollout of a warmer Michelle Obama.” What a perfect example of women being expected to walk The Thin Pink Line.  Her focus on family and values was great, but she has so much more to say than that — and she usually says it with more gusto.  She faces the same problem Hillary encountered when she became First Lady and that Theresa Heinz Kerry was met with when she spoke at the same convention four years ago.  We want the spouses of our Presidents to be smart, but not too smart.  Passionate, but not too passionate.  And to have opinions but not come across as opinionated.  Come to think of it, that’s what we expect of so many women in the workplace.  And that’s The Thin Pink Line

    So, what are the lessons we can all learn from Michelle O? 

    1. When coached, keep the best of who you are and add to it, don’t subtract.  This is the Golden Rule of coaching.  Always lead with your strengths and add new behaviors that will help you to walk TPL
    2. Play the game on the field and in bounds, but avoid the middle — that’s not where games are won.  If you receive feedback that you’re too quiet in meetings, don’t go to the extreme of dominating them.  Find 2 - 3 opportunities to give your opinion, affirm what someone else has said, or seek clarification that others need as well.  Going to extremes doesn’t work — for women or  men.  MIchelle played it too safe last night – she had plenty more field to use without being called out. 
    3. Be strategic in your communications.  Choose the times when you can let the best of you emerge and when you should exhibit a broader range of communication skills.  The pundits may want a gentler, calmer Michele Obama but this doesn’t mean that’s all she can be.  Just once last night I wanted to see her diverge from the script and utter something totally passionate in true Michelle O. fashion.  I don’t think it would have detracted one bit from her message — in fact I think it would have enhanced it.  Think back to what happened when Hillary got tearful just before the New Hampshire primary.  We liked her even better. 

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    6 Comments »

    1. Lois- you make excellent points. It is clear that Michelle did what she was asked to do - and I think she did it quite well.

      The whole performance was just what the campaign needed - a Michelle who presents herself as a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister (not that there’s anything wrong with that) yet keeps her Ivy League education and her full time (and I’m sure very gratifying) career on the down low.

      No wonder the pundits raved. Yes, the thin pink line is a tricky one to walk.

      Comment by Carol Frohlinger, JD — August 26, 2008 @ 4:03 pm

    2. I agree that Mrs. O was probably overcoached. Too bad, but that’s politics. I think she was set up to appeal to the vast majority of delegates. No, she appeared to be quite pleasant and not angry. I loved Hillary from Day 1 because she was genuine. If you look at interviews with Michelle O early on, she sounds very angry and just like Rev. Wright’s famous tirade. Her handlers have probably softened her down. I appreciate genuineness in anyone. Lois and I are genuine, right Lois?

      Comment by Marilyn Ziemann, CPA — August 26, 2008 @ 4:20 pm

    3. Marilyn, I know YOU are genuine and I hope that I am perceived as genuine as well. I certainly know I strive for authenticity while walking The Thin Pink Line. At times it means I am not liked by everyone, but as long as I act respectfully and honestly I can live with that.

      Comment by Dr. Lois Frankel — August 26, 2008 @ 6:39 pm

    4. you hit it on the nail, Lois. I also think she was over coached to appear “white.” All the emphasis on a husband/father who is responsible and home - implying he’s different from the typical black male. It’s sad. She looked beautiful, her dress was a ten. Certainly, the most beautiful first lady since Jackie. Also, our culture still in 2008 can’t differentiate between what angry and strong looks like in a woman. Our playing field for expression continues to be very narrow. Her speech - so canned - is a good example of this. She was beautiful and lifeless. Just like Barbie without the breasts.I love her and feel for her. Thanks for opening dialogue on this, Lois.

      Comment by Susan Picascia — August 27, 2008 @ 7:43 am

    5. Thanks for your comments, Susan. It was quite a contrast to Hillary who was unbridled — confident, genuine, funny, and touching. My favorite line: No way. No how. No McCain.

      Comment by Dr. Lois Frankel — August 27, 2008 @ 10:38 am

    6. [...] I read a blog post that summarized for me what I couldn’t quite express about Mrs. Obama’s speech: [...]

      Pingback by Vagina Politics Week in Review « jumpercarr — September 2, 2008 @ 12:48 pm

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