Thanks again to those of you who completed The Thin Pink Line Survey  If you haven’t completed it yet, this is the last week the survey is open for responses. Next Friday we will announce the winner of the one hour coaching session with your choice of Carol or me, so don’t delay.

All of the responses are fascinating and, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, we have heard from women around the globe.  If we didn’t already know what country a respondent was from we would not be able to differentiate a woman from South Africa or Australia from a woman in the US based – this is how similar our challenges are.

We’ve begun breaking out the data by age group and, as you might imagine, there are some differences.  Those of you in the Gen Y category (approximately 21 – 32 years old)  consistently mention that your #1 concern is how starting a family will impact your career — and for those of you who already have children, it’s about managing impressions that others may have related to your priorities.  So today I want to give you some things to consider if this is a concern of yours:

1.  Do not be apologetic about being of childbearing age.  The fact is, women have the responsibility for childbearing and nothing is going to change this any time soon.  Develop an attitude that conveys the message, “Of course I might have children but this doesn’t mean I’m not 100% committed to my career.”  In other words: so what?  If you don’t make it an issue others are less likely to use it against you.

2.  Choose your employer carefully.  Working Mother magazine does a yearly issue on the best companies for women with children to work.   Click here for the 2008 list.  Even if you can’t work at one of these particular companies, check around your geographic area and find companies that have daycare centers on site, generous leave policies, and flex schedules.  Savvy employers know that a little flexibility gets a lot of loyalty from working Moms.  In other words: be strategic.

3.   Talk about the issue in workplace women’s groups.  This is one of the reasons why I am so strongly in favor of affinity groups.  Many Gen Y women think these groups are for older women who grew up in the feminist era.  Wrong.  Affinity groups can pack a punch when it comes to shaping corporate policy.  In other words:  there’s safety in numbers.   

4.  Choose your neighborhood carefully.   This tip I learned from blogger MAC who once told me as a professional woman working in the defense industry she knew it was going to “take a village” to raise her family.  So she made sure to choose a neighborhood where there were other kids and made a point of getting to know the Moms so that they could provide support for one another.  In the old days you had family around for support but that’s the exception these days.  In other words: pick a kid friendly neighborhood.

5.  Consider careers that provide for maximum flexibility.  It’s not realistic to think that you can be a Wall Street trader and have work/life balance.  A job that requires frequent travel isn’t going to work either if being part of your child’s life matters to you.  But you could have your own financial accounting business or work with a brokerage house as a financial advisor.  In other words:  think outside the box when it comes to how you can apply your education and skills.

Anyone have some more tips for our Gen Y colleagues?

TAGS: Gen Y Women, women's challenges, Work/Life Balance, Working Mother magazine

Every decade of life brings new and specific money needs.  So what should you be doing to get your financial life in order if you’re in your 20s?

At 20-something, you have the luxury of time on your side.  That means you can take more risk right now.  At 20-something since you won’t be touching the money you’re saving in the near future – that means you can exhale and ride out these recent market ups and downs.

If you’re in your 20s and don’t own any stock – now’s the time to get some.  I know that might seem like a lofty goal since money’s probably tight.  You might still be in school or going back to school for a more advanced degree.  But getting into the stock market now is very important since the economic downturn has some good companies’ stock at rock bottom prices.   “But I don’t know what to buy!” you say. 

Here’s a simple rule of thumb:  buy what you use.  If you readily and steadily buy a company’s product – why not own part of a company that has you as a regular and returning customer?  Start small.  Buy a handful of shares and over time – add a few more.  This approach gives you an investing discipline and a thing called a portfolio.

Your Number One Priority for managing your money in your 20s is to set boundaries on your spending by creating a simple budget aka spending plan and sticking to it.  A budget helps you adjust to having a regular income while helping you determine the amount of money you can set aside to save for and build your 3-6 months worth of living expenses emergency fund. 

A budget also helps you set aside money for another kind of necessary savings:  your retirement.  You may feel retirement is nothing you need to worry about right now – afterall, you’re just starting out and will be working for years before this thing called retirement matters.   But trust me, the best time to start saving for retirement is in your 20s because then the magic of compounding will make those set-aside dollars grow like yeast.

Your Number Two Priority is simple to state but tough to do:  pay down your debt.  Be deliberate about it and remember, you can’t get out of debt if you keep spending!  So this is the time to become clear about wants versus needs.  Knowing the difference will give you a discipline about spending – for life.

Priority Number Three is to remember the money mantra:  “Save not spend.”  This will help you more easily become dedicated to growing that 3-6 month emergency fund.  It will teach you the importance of being consistent in what you do and how you do it.

In your 20s, commit to believing that:

• good money habits create a sense of stability
• you are capable of solving money problems
• you are able to be decisive
• you can execute money strategies and create a short-term financial vision
• you can stay honest, truthful and personally accountable
• you have the ability to communicate, motivate and persuade others to do so

Next Thursday - I have some suggestions on how women in their 20s can get their financial life in order.  As always, I’ll give you concrete tips.  Small and incremental.  Doable.  As I like to say, loose change ideas that add up to folding money.

If you want more details on how to save, invest and manage your personal money – at any age – go to www.napw.com for my daily “Valuable Money Tips with Valerie Coleman Morris”.

Here’s to your health and wealth.

TAGS: back to school for advanced degree, building an emergency fund, pay down debt, start saving for retirement, Women in their 20s

Blogger Janice wrote in asking how to handle pregnancy/medical leave in this economy.  She’s 46 years old, works as a manager in a male-dominated field, has been employed by the same company for 20 years and is having her first child.  Based on years of service she’s entitled to 22 weeks of disability pay and five weeks of vacation, but she’s afraid to take all of that time off in this economy. 

Laws that may protect her aside, her concerns are valid.  Here’s what I told her — then I’d like some of you to provide her with additional input from your own experience.

Those who say women can have it all only have it partially correct.  We can have it all, but we can’t have it all at the same time.  Elizabeth Dole,  Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama are testament to this.  Each put their own career ambitions on hold as they supported their families at a critical time.  Realistically speaking, although there are enlightened companies who deal with the issue progressively, many still penalize women for off-ramping for childbearing and childcare.

Yes, this is fragile time in our economy and whatever decision you make may impact the trajectory of your career – or even having a job at all.  There are many factors that go into your decision: 

• Do I live in a community or field where it would be difficult to find work if I were terminated?
• How has the company handled women managers who took pregnancy/disability leave? 
• What is my financial situation?  Could I afford to be unemployed for a period of time if my employer decided to let me go after I return from my leave?
• Does my job allow me to work part-time from home after the birth of the baby?

In the end, however, I believe you must live your values.  You’ve obviously waited a long time for this baby and clearly it’s not a decision you’ve made frivolously.  My advice to you is to put your values first if that’s economically reasonable.  If you are entitled to 22 weeks plus five weeks of vacation and you feel this is the amount of time needed to do right by your newborn, then it might be a risk you are willing to take.   You’ve worked for the company for 20 years, been promoted to management, and survived layoffs so obviously they value you and might want to work with you to keep you.  If instead they use it as an excuse to let you go you will still have taken the path you believe is best for you and your family – one that I doubt you’ll regret. 

Your thought about taking less time to show you are a “team player” and concerned about your continued employment is an option.  But also consider taking the full amount of time available to you but working from home part-time after a few months if your job allows for it.  This is something you might be able to negotiate with your management in advance.  Think creatively so that you can propose alternatives that demonstrate your professionalism and commitment to your employer while at the same time factoring in your own needs.

Many women have told me once the baby is born they view their careers quite differently and opt for less demanding work lives.  Others find themselves anxious to return to careers they love and find a balance between parenting and work.  Until your baby is born you may not know which camp you fall into.

TAGS: negotiating a leave of absence, telling your boss you're pregnant, Women In the Professions, Workplace pregnancy

A reader asks:

“I am so frustrated with the woman who sits very near me – she comes to work although she is clearly too ill to be there. She spends the day coughing, sneezing and generally infecting everyone around her. I want to do something to stop Typhoid Mary but I’m not sure what to do.”

Your situation is frustrating. But before you do anything, ask yourself the following:

Is this a one-time thing or does it happen with regularity?

If the former, I’d suggest you stifle your urge to act – except to hope for her continued good health. If the latter, you do have to deal with it, no matter how awkward.

Why do you think she comes in although she is sick?

While considering the reasons won’t provide you with germ immunity, it will help you to be more empathetic. Empathy helps smooth the way any time you have to have a difficult conversation because considering the other person’s perspective is critical to resolving issues.

• She may be afraid that if she takes a day off, she’ll get catch up with the pile of work she has on her desk.
• She may be worried about missing deadlines.
• She may be concerned that those with whom she works would not be able to pick up the slack.
• She may be trying to save her days to care for her children if they get sick.
• She may be anxious that, in this economy, if she takes time off someone will decide that her job isn’t really needed.

Or she just might be thoughtless.

What is your relationship with her?

If it’s generally good, you might approach her directly. Use your best guess about her rationale to craft a message that’ll let her know how you feel. For example, “Mary, you really aren’t well and I’m worried about you. I’m also worried about the rest of us catching your cold. I think you should go home. If you have something urgent that needs to be done, I’ll be happy to pitch in for you. ” Note no reference to the others in the office and that they agree with you – you don’t want her to think she’s been the conversation plat de jour. Also, caring is demonstrated

If it’s not, you might have to speak with her boss.

If your colleague has other annoying habits that you’d like to call to her attention but want to do it anonymously, check out http://www.nicecritic.com/. This site gives you the opportunity to send an anonymous email message about “suggestions” you have in any one of nine categories. While I’m not sure why anyone would use the “Anonymous Praise” category (why not take credit for the compliments you give?) and think the “Appearance” category is over the line, some of the choices in the “Personal Hygiene” category could be useful. While I couldn’t find a message quite on point for the reader I mentioned above, I can see how an email advising “Regular bathing is more than just a gift you give yourself, it’s one that keeps on giving.” could help maintain harmony in the office.

TAGS: colleagues

Our fellow author and colleague, Suzanne Bates, has written a new book you’ll be interested in.  The title is Motivate Like a CEO.  For those of you who supervise, manage, or lead others you’ll find lots of good suggestions for how to motivate and inspire others to take action. Like her last book, Speak Like a CEO, this one is practical and filled with the same kinds of coaching tips we provide to you on The Thin Pink Line. 

Here are a few gems:

• To motivate and inspire people you need a theme or mission or value that resonates, and then you have to overcommunicate again and again and again. 
• You have to communicate not only through words but also by living the values — walking and talking what is important to the organization’s success.
• Setting expectations and measuring progress create positive feelings. You accelerate progress as people get more and more enthused about the milestones. 
• Accountability starts at the top.  When people see that you are accountable, they feel a stronger commitment to you.

For today only Suzanne is giving everyone who purchases the book access to white papers, audioprograms, tip sheets and other discounts on products of interest to professionals.  Check out the book and the special offer at  http://www.bates-communications.com/motivate-bonusoffer.php 

TAGS: Free Offers, Motivate Like a CEO, Motivating Others, Speak Like a CEO, Suzanne Bates

Lois and I are thrilled with the response you’ve given us to our request for help to gather information about the global “state of affairs” for women working in organizations. While we’ll write more when all the responses have been collected and analyzed,  today we wanted to share one data point with you.

We asked the question, “In your organization, to what degree do you  think gender impacts women who wish to climb the corporate ladder?”

So, if you think that the fact that you’re a woman makes things more challenging at work, you’re not alone! And it means that you should subscribe to the The Thin Pink Line and tell others about it too.

If you haven’t done so yet, we hope you’ll help us by completing the survey and then sending it along to your friends. The survey will take no more than 15 minutes to complete.  Although we value everyone’s opinion, if you are self-employed we ask that you not complete this survey. We look forward to getting your input for our next project!

To thank you for your participation in the survey, we will enter the name of each person who completes the survey into a drawing to win a complimentary one hour coaching session with one of us. Thanks in advance for your help!

Carol Frohlinger and Lois Frankel

TAGS: 2009 women's challenges, Gender bias, realities of women in the worplace, Survey, women's challenges

In the last couple of weeks I read a couple of things that made me wonder about a broader definition of diversity ─ acceptance of the choices women make regarding work and family.

Cleo Thompson who writes PriceWaterhouseCoopers ‘s wonderful Gender Agenda blog described her reaction to the British press’s coverage of French justice minister Rachida Dati ‘s decision to return to work five days after giving birth to her first child by Caesarean section. (On a personal note, having had two C-sections, I am in awe!). While the media coverage was focused on the decision Dati made and the “message” it sent to women and to employers. Thompson wrote about the bigger question of why we feel compelled to weigh in on the decisions other women make for themselves.

Here in the U.S., Michelle Obama, our new First Lady, has been described as “unemployed” given the decision she’s made to focus on her children and her new role. Although Tuesday was surely not typical of the “usual” day she will have as First Lady, I doubt that anyone who considered the grueling schedule she kept would think of her as “unemployed”!

As an aside, Lauren Stiller Rikleen wrote an interesting piece for the Washington Post calling for tangible recognition of value of the role of First Lady, including a job description and compensation.

While these women are public figures whose decisions make the papers, every day women all over the world grapple with their own decisions about how to make work and family work. And everyone’s situation is different.

I wrote some time ago about the good news that couples are sharing decision-making more than ever before but there is no doubt that even today women disproportionally manage family matters ─ and it’s not easy. Not only are the physical demands a challenge but the emotional ones take a toll as well. I remember telling my mother that I was planning to continue working outside the home shortly after I told her I was expecting my first child. She was stunned and shocked at the same time; her reaction caused me to think again about my decision. Thank goodness all I did was think, she got over it and I have two completely well functioning adult children now and am still doing what I love to do.

It may be that we are quick to judge the decisions others make because we are not as confident that our own decisions are the right ones. This quote from Elisabeth Robinson might help:

“I am capable of making my own decisions in my life. I am allowed to express myself. I approve of myself.”

TAGS: decisions, Michelle Obama, Rachida Dati, work and family

There’s a new mindset in Washington, D.C.  It’s called change.

Change is one of President Barack Obama’s favorite words.   Mine, too.  I especially like what the word represents when it comes to money.  It has several meanings for me:  as in loose change adds up to folding money and as – now is the time to change or at least reassess our relationship with our personal money.  Let’s talk about changing the money relationship.

Set aside a dedicated hour to take a serious look at your money:  where it is, how much is there (rather than focusing on how much you’ve lost), what’s the return on your investment, when should you re-allocate or re-distribute your resources and what’s your next money move. 

When you do this reassessment, let your primary goal be to look for ways to increase your comfort level.  That’s it.  Finding your comfort level is the first step in regaining confidence as we all try to recover from – while still being in the midst of – the economic crisis here at home.

Next – it might feel counterintuitive since there are still difficult economic times ahead but if you have a little money set aside – now’s the time to buy stock.  There are many good companies available at low prices.  So give yourself permission -  find the confidence – to invest in the stock market again.  Here’s how:

• Develop a stock investment philosophy – how you will invest, in what, how much and when.
• Approach investing with a formal plan so that you can make informed decisions.
• Monitor stock investments so you understand the fundamentals of the stocks in which you invest.
• You’ll tend to hold chosen stock during market volatility if you believe in the company for good reasons.
• Remind yourself why  you’re investing and be sure to write down the reasons.
• Write down the long-term returns and the short-term losses you expect because that will keep you focused on the long-term plan.  
• Consider selling stocks if you have short-term cash needs.

For those – and there are so many – who have been living paycheck-to-paycheck or have voluntarily created a more frugal lifestyle – let your goal also be looking for ways to increase your comfort level, too.  Give yourself a spending plan (a budget) based on small, achieveable goals and objectives such as saving a certain amount of money by a certain date; paying off a credit card balance and not charging what you can’t afford to pay off in full each month; or increasing your 401(k) contribution.  Each time you reach one of those doable, set goals – take a moment and notice what you have done and how that decision shored up your financial vulnerability a little bit more. 

Good management of one’s personal money is the first step toward self-reliance.  To me, the more self-reliant we are, the greater our comfort level.  The greater our comfort level, the better we are able to make good money decisions.  It’s your money, so take it personally.  Make this year of change the year you commit to taking personal control of becoming better informed and better educated about managing your money.

There is opportunity in the midst of this continuing economic crisis.  The opportunity is to put in place a new culture that’s committed to managing our past out-of-control consumption.  So create a new money vision for yourself.  Write it down and tell someone your plan so you feel committed.  Take small, daily steps regarding managing your personal money but do them with a sense of urgency.  Stay clear about what you can comfortably afford to spend because that’s the best way to stay out of debt and control overspending – which can happen even when money is tight.

You really can start building a solid financial life.  That solid foundation will not only help you weather the continuing economic storm but will help you develop a personal money agenda for the future that’s based on facts and conducted with discipline rather than fear.

There’s your New Year – New Money Mindset.  If you want more daily money tips that will help you spend, save, manage and invest, go to Valuable Money Tips with Valerie Coleman Morris at http://www.napw.com/valuable_money.cfm.

Here’s to your health and wealth.

TAGS: achieving financial goals, building a financial foundation, investing in the stock market, portfolio reassessment, Relationship with money, self-reliance, spending plan/budget

I received a letter from a blogger asking what to do about a high, squeeky voice.  She said she knows her voice is high pitched and sounds like a little girl but she’s an engineer working with mainly men and has to do something about it before her career is negatively impacted.  My first thought was to suggest a voice coach, but I decided to ask my colleague and good friend, Tom Henschel of Essential Communications, for his suggestions.  I was happy to see that he too had voice coach as one of his tips but he also had some other good ones for you to consider.  You might want to visit his website for other great tips too.  Here’s what Tom said:

• There is no question that the pitch and tone of a person’s voice can enhance or diminish credibility. Often people with high pitched voices can catch a brief glimpse of another, deeper voice that lives inside their bodies. For example, when you first wake up in the morning, don’t move any part of your body. Stay relaxed and make some vocal noise. A short hum or a “uh.” Is your voice still “high pitched” and “screechy”? Often not. The relaxation that comes after hours of sleep often allows the vocal cords to relax and produce a sound more aligned with your body’s natural pitch. Hearing this “other” voice will give you a vision for the voice that is inside you. 
• People develop high pitched voices for any number of reasons often having to do with socialization and expectations. Striving to relax and overcome years of habits is difficult but can be done.
• Enlisting the aid of a vocal coach often speeds the process. If you live in a metropolitan area, contact a university music department or a professional theatre company; they should be able to put you in contact with a vocal coach. Hypnotherapy often works, too.

I would also suggest that anyone with a high pitched voice consider if this is a developed trait in response to the expectation that you remain a “little girl.”  After all, little girls have squeeky voices.  Give yourself permission to be an adult woman and see if this impacts the tone of your voice.

TAGS: voice and credibility, Voice lessons, women's voices

Shortly before Christmas I received a letter from a Thin Pink Line blogger who had been “laid off.”  She saw a post I had written earlier in the year suggesting the term “lay-off” is often a euphemism for a termination.  She was the longest tenured person in her department and also the oldest.  When she probed for why she was selected she got the usual run-around.

Carol and I both responsed to her privately.  Let me share with you our suggestions in case you find yourself in the same position:

• Meet with senior management to see if you can get additional information.  If there was something you did that you can learn from, you want this information.  Make it clear you’re not trying to make a case to keep you on, just that you want to learn from any mistakes you may have made.
• Negotiate for the best separation package possible.  If you were given a few weeks of pay that’s not nearly enough to tide you over until you find your next job in this economy.  Ask for a minimum of 3 weeks of pay for each year of service.  Even if that’s negotiated down you might be better off than you were before negotiating.
• If you believe your separation is the result of an unlawful decision (age, sex, religion, physical limiations), file a claim with your local EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission).  Many people won’t do this for fear of word getting out and other employers learning about it, but my experience is that except in very small communities this is rarely the case.  It costs you nothing to file a claim and you may get the answers you need to move forward.
• Get started with your job search.  The sooner you begin your search, the sooner you’ll find another job.  Update your resume so that it’s crisp and clear, talk to friends, go to professional association meetings to find the “hidden” jobs, and remember it’s a numbers game.  The more resumes you put out in a strategically planned manner the more responses you’ll get.
• Don’t be a victim.  You aren’t the first person to lose a job and you won’t be the last.  The one thing you have control over is your attitude.  Be positive and upbeat so that interviewers see you as someone they want on their team. 

TAGS: EEOC, job loss, Job Search, lay-offs, termination