TAGS: career advice

How many times have you looked around your workplace and noticed that the way things are being done aren’t necessarily the best way to do them? Perhaps you’ve even gone so far as to suggest an alternative way, one that is faster, less costly and more productive only to have your idea summarily dismissed or, perhaps even worse, completely ignored. If you have, no doubt, you may be confused or even frustrated.

Why does this happen? The short answer is that you may be assuming that your boss or your colleagues are rational people who will behave rationally. Au contraire! Because they are people, even in a business situation, emotions matter. People will protect their interests as they see them.

Consider the following:

• Don’t try to slaughter the sacred cow.

  Take, for example, the situation where the vendor that the department has been using for years to take care of its printing needs requires long lead times and is short on customer service. Yet that vendor is still the one everyone uses. Why? Turns out that the owner of the printing company went to school with the boss. As long as the boss is there, he is protected. So, plan way ahead to get your printing job done on time and make sure your instructions are crystal clear when you send your job out.

  Way too often poor performers are tolerated, business silos are left in place regardless of how outdated they are and office dysfunction thrives because relationships matter – a lot. Be strategic about whom you take on – otherwise, they will outlive you.

• People hate change.

  No matter how bad it is, it is the “devil they know”. Communicate clearly and concisely why the approach you are proposing makes sense but expect push-back.

  When you are proposing a change, anticipate who will be affected and what their reaction might be. Then figure out a strategy to make them more accepting. For example, if you think they will be threatened by the new approach you are proposing to document team results because they are unfamiliar with it, offer to serve as a coach.

  It’s important to tease out resistance because even if people nod and smile, they still may not be on board. That will cause a problem eventually.

• Timing is everything.

  Don’t blithely speak your mind without considering whether it is the right time to share your idea. For example, you may need to line up some influential supporters before you broach the topic with your boss. Or, it might be that you should wait until the big project is delivered to the client before you start offering feedback about what the team might have done to be more efficient.

If a great idea surfaces in the office but nobody hears it, is it really a great idea? It’s up to you to be sure your great ideas get a fair hearing.

TAGS: negotiating to get ideas heard, office politics

Diversity is the most compelling issue for the new century and the new economy.  That’s why I want to share my thoughts with you about linking diverse philosophies to your bottom line personal and professional goals.

Lots of forces have tugged especially hard at the family unit over the last few decades.  Even the definition of “family” has changed, extended and become more diverse.  As a result, I think the advancement of women is more regularly being seen as an expansion of humanity rather than a competition with men.  That acceptance is what’s leading to diversification of responsibilities in childcare, school involvement, household schedules, meals, elder care and other related family issues.  These issues are no longer being seen solely as women’s work.  These “chores” or “duties” are being more frequently identified and embraced as family concerns.  These concerns are becoming more deliberate, consistent and willing focal points for women and for men. 

As a result of this collaboration, I believe we are seeing the evolution of a more humane and nurturing environment regarding family diversity that will produce more gender-free, assigned responsibility.  To me – this provides the opportunity for more gender-free, assigned responsibilities regarding the management of money within families. Family money should be managed by the adult determined to be the most deliberate and consistent regarding meeting family money needs.  While money decisions should be made in a collaborative way with (if there is) the other family adult, the responsibility for executing transparent and on-time management of family finances should rest with the family’s Chief Financial Officer (CFO).  When it comes to couples, the person who becomes the family CFO should be chosen in a very deliberate fashion.   The decision should come after much discussion and be made after determining who best fits and most consistently executes the role.  This isn’t always the male.  In fact, increasingly more women are being named to fill the role.

I believe there are many assets to be gained in making such a choice – not the least of which is greater attention being given to orchestrating and respecting personal relationships and the contributions each person within a couple can make.  Personal relationships suffered debilitating blows during the matching designer resume driven 80s.  In this 21st century - relationships have a chance to blossom.  Why?  Because we all tired of the civil wars that raged back then in the homes of working women.  And because after decades of feeling isolated and outside the family circle, men – who had long refused to organize and orchestrate their private lives, are understanding and declaring that the “second shift” which their working wives or partners had always handled, should not remain just women’s work.

Family matters.  And more and more men understand that they’ve allowed themselves to miss out on too much and too many of the assets of real family values for too long.  Additionally, we women are realizing that because we always have a plan for everything – we’ve contributed to the “absent male” notion because we’ve comprehensively covered the gaps. 

The asset that is now on family dinner tables is that in this century – it’s not only possible but probable – with mutual conviction and on behalf of family values that the opinions and idiosyncrasies of men and women are becoming more flexible and cooperate in creating a nurturing environment – together.  Now that’s an asset your family can bank on and take to the bank.

Here’s to your health and wealth!

TAGS: CFO, family diversity, family money, family values, money responsibilities

When I worked in corporate America I labored under the misconception that management and colleagues would appreciate my “energetic” approach to work.  I’ve always been someone who likes to get things done, solve problems, and design creative new products or programs.  I’m not saying I was always the most stellar employee, but I thought I was adding value with this approach.  As I learned back then, those who are either threatened by or overwhelmed with go-getters are going to find ways to undermine your efforts. 

The Japanese phrase, “the tall nail gets hammered down,” refers to the phenomenon by which entire organizations strive for medocrity to accommodate the majority of workers who are — well, I have to say it — average.  When you don’t behave “average” you face negative consequences.   It’s one reason why I left a great corporate job to start my own consulting practice.  And it’s the reason why many women become disillusioned, discouraged, and demoralized at work.  They believe more is better and that outstanding performance will be appreciated.  Instead, they find themselves marginalized, excluded from meetings they should attend,  sabotaged, and critical information is withheld from them. 

I do believe this is more of a problem for women than men.  Why?  Because women are more likely to want to prove themselves by doing more than is needed.  So how do you walk this Thin Pink Line?  Here are a few tricks you might try:

1. Identify your company’s playing field.  We’ve talked about this before.  Every workplace is a playing field with rules, boundaries and strategies.  When it comes to performance, where are the boundaries?  Believe it or not it’s just as possible to overperform than underperform.  Being a superstar on every assignment shouldn’t be ultimate goal if it’s not expected in your corporate culture.  You’ll only wind up antagonizing others.   
2. Learn what makes you overperform.  Sometimes women overperform out of fear, overcompensation, old messages, and even anxiety.  If this is the case, it’s important for you to re-define your personal standards and manage your behavior so that you aren’t driven by personal demons.   If you work in a culture where great performance is acceptable but superb performance is resented, then overperforming is a waste of time. 
3. Get others on the train with you.  If you tend to be a lone ranger, it’s more likely that others will try to trip you up.  Instead, look for ways to influence others to join you as you move forward and be certain to give them public recognition when it’s due.
4. Get a life.  Some women overperform because they have no life outside of work.  Guess what?  Your colleagues do have a life and don’t appreciate you making them look like slackers.  Creating more balance in your life wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
5. Know when it’s time to move on.   The fact is, you may be operating on a playing field that values too much mediocrity and you want more.  Or perhaps you’re not cut out for the particular boundaries of your corporate playing field.  If this is the case, carefully identify other opportunities, either in your own enterprise or another company, that will capitalize on your unique talents and energy. 

TAGS: corporate playing field., go-getters, handling less aggressive co-workers, Mediocrity

To go to grad school or not to go to grad school, that is the question for many recent college graduates — especially during a recession. A recent AP-mtvU poll found that nearly one in five undergraduates have decided to prolong their education with an advanced degree. Should you do the same? I wish I could give you the absolute right answer, but I can’t.

The decision is personal and different for everyone. My colleagues here at The Thin Pink Line have advanced degrees, so I’m curious for their opinions based on their experiences. What I hope to do is provide you with the right questions to ask to make the best move for you.

First, here are what I consider to be the no-brainer decisions:

No-brainer No. 1: If you receive a full scholarship and you want a graduate degree, go for at least one year. I was fortunate to receive a graduate school scholarship from Rotary International, and I’m grateful I received a master’s degree at no cost. Free education is an offer not to be missed.

No-brainer No. 2: If you’re sure about your career direction and need a graduate degree to get there, then grad school makes sense. This is the case for students who are positive they want to be lawyers, doctors, professors and other degree-requiring careers. If you’re worried about massive student loans, particularly in the current economy, consider your state school and programs that will offer you scholarship money. Or, take some time to work and save, then go to grad school a few years from now.

No-brainer No. 3: If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Lots of students tell me they feel they “should” go to graduate school or they’re pursuing an advanced degree to “keep their options open.” Graduate school requires a huge investment of time and money, so don’t go if you’re not committed.

If you’re still unsure how to proceed, here are three questions to help you make the best decision.

Why are you considering graduate school?

Education is a wonderful, valuable endeavor and a worthy goal in itself, but in my opinion, it should not be a default decision because you can’t think of anything better to do. If you really want to keep studying and you can afford it, then by all means go to graduate school. But if the cost will put you into significant debt and you’re unsure whether it’s the right move, then consider working for a few years and see how you feel in the future.

What are your career plans after graduate school?

If you have no idea what you’ll do after grad school, then don’t go. If you’re not sure where the degree might lead, ask several people in your desired career field for their advice. You can also seek out people who’ve earned the degree you’re considering and ask what path they’ve taken after graduate school. When in doubt, get more information.

How will you pay for it?

While many students are opting for grad school as a way to “ride out” the recession, I’m concerned about how these students plan to pay back those student loans. Even when the economy improves, $100,000 to $200,000 is a lot of debt to carry. Making the decision should involve putting together a realistic budget for how you’ll live during graduate school and a strategy for how you’ll pay back your loans afterward.

One final tip: I do think it’s a wise move to take any graduate school admissions tests while you’re still an undergrad or recent alum. You’re in test-taking mode when you’re still in college, so go ahead and take the GRE, GMAT, LSAT or any other test that you think you might need. Your scores will be good for several years, so there’s really no down side to having them under your belt. Good luck!

A version of this post originally appeared on the Lindsey Pollak Career Blog.

TAGS: graduate school

Don’t you just hate it when people don’t keep their word?

Unfortunately, though, broken promises happen way too often- raises pledged that never showed up on pay stubs,  promotions assured that somehow just don’t happen, resources committed yet never delivered.  Understandably, when this happens to you, it is easy to get frustrated and angry but clearly that doesn’t solve the problem.  How can you increase the odds that the people who make you promises will keep them?

When The Promise Is Being Made:

• Be a little bit skeptical.
  Ask yourself, “Can he really make this happen?” or “Who else will she have to sell on this idea before it will be a serious opportunity?”  Many times it’s not that people intend to mislead you but rather that they underestimate the challenges they will face in getting it done.

• Offer to help.
  Ask what you can do to make it easier for your boss to keep her promise.  You might say, “I am very grateful for your support on this.  What can I do to be sure that the others involved see me as the best choice too?”

• Ask for a timeframe.
  When someone has made a promise but hasn’t committed to when he or she will deliver, it will be awkward to follow up on it later.  Is it too early to ask about it?  Or has so much time passed, you’re wondering if he/she even remembers. Say something like, “I want to be sure I am being realistic; by when do you expect we can get this accomplished?’

Later, If Nothing Happens

• Remind him/her of the promise and the timeline in a non-threatening way.
  Practice this ahead of time with a friend and ask for feedback on your delivery.  Did you betray anger? Frustration?  If so, keep practicing until you can eliminate the negative tone and/or body language.

• Ask about where the issue stands now.
  While you may not like what you learn, it’s better to know than to keep deluding yourself that the promise will be kept.

• Express gratitude for the information.
  After all, honesty counts for something.

At this point, you should assess the bigger picture.  What’s really going on here? Is this an isolated failure or is there a theme of repeated broken promises? Is your boss making promises she knows she can’t keep?  Is he politically naïve? Is she really going to bat for you or just saying that she is?  And, how badly does the broken promise affect you?  Based on those factors, you can determine your plan.

Remember the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

TAGS: broken promises, working with a difficult boss

What do women tell ourselves when it comes money?  What money tunes/messages play in our heads?  If you’re frustrated and feel you can’t do the right thing when it comes to managing your personal finances, it could be that you need a new financial tune.

I think it’s very important that women examine what we tell ourselves about money.  Why?  Because we need a very clear picture about our money goals.  For many women, the picture is too vague and it’s not accompanied by a plan.  Yes, I’m big on planning, setting an attainment date and meeting the goal.  If there are good reasons for having to change the date or reshape the goal due to changing circumstances – fine.  But then review, refocus and reset.  Otherwise you’ll be in danger of losing sight of the big money picture.

Motivated people use their goals for motivation – rather than for deprivation.  So you want the money tune  that plays in your head to be upbeat with a melody that repeats “this is how I do it.”

• Get a very clear picture of your goal
• Figure out how much it costs
• Determine what usually knocks you off course
• Be sure your “financial personality” is figured into your plan.

Let’s talk about this point in more depth.  By your “financial personality” I mean if you know you have a problem such as going to the ATM randomly and too frequently – your plan should include determining how much cash you actually need for the week, withdrawing that amount and making it last.  It should also include that you commit to use only your own bank’s ATM.  That way you avoid additional fees that are charged when you access what’s referred to as a foreign (meaning not your own) bank.

It’s important to know your “financial personality” and it’s even more important to acknowledge that those money personality traits won’t just go away.  You’ll have to be very clear what your weak spots are and create an environment in your financial plan (ie: the ATM scenario) to help you sustain it.

The money tunes that play in our heads often are from childhood and they usually keep playing uninterrupted unless we become aware that they’re tired old songs whose lyrics are no longer appealing.

Tragic figure but gifted singer Billie Holiday wrote this song after she and her mother had a heated argument over money: 

Money, you’ve got lots of friends
Crowding round the door
When you’re gone, spending ends
They don’t come no more
Rich relations give
Crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But don’t take too much
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child that’s got his own
That’s got her own.

Here’s to your health and wealth.

TAGS: attainment dates, financial personality, money goals, Money messages, planning

On The Thin Pink Line we’ve talked about the importance of mentors.  Most often it conjures up an image of an older or more experienced co-worker taking us under their wing and showing us the ropes.  But you can be mentored by people you’ve never even met — as I was by Gloria Steinem, pictured with me here at the Southern New Hampshire University Women’s Leadership Summit last week. 

Meeting her was a thrill – and I let her know that.  I told her how I first heard her speak on my campus when I was just 20 years old and that her work has inspired my own.  How many times she must have heard the same thing from other women, but she was gracious and warm hearing it yet again. 

It made me realize how many mentors I’ve had over my lifetime who I’ve never even met.  Eleanor Roosevelt, Golda Meir, Tom Watson, Sr., Mary Kay Ash, and Anna Freud to name just a few.  I’ve studied them, learned about their lives and achievements, and they’ve made me better for it. 

Then there are mentors who I have met, but who didn’t know they were mentoring me.  By allowing me to ask a few questions I gained insights into their perceptions that in turned helped influence my own behaviors.  John Kotter, Anne Fisher, and our own Carol Frohlinger, Lindsey Pollak, Valerie Coleman Morris, and Liz Weston come to mind. 

Sometimes I’m even mentored unwittingly by the people I mentor.  As I listen to them and how they view the world I’m challenged to look at my own world view and assumptions differently. 

So as you think about who can mentor you to become your personal and professional best, don’t just look around the office or your community.  You can be mentored by practically anyone if you open your mind and heart to new ideas, to risking looking foolish by asking questions, and by observing the unique behaviors of those you admire — and sometimes even those you don’t admire but who nonetheless have a valuable lesson to teach you.

TAGS: Gloria Steinem, mentors, Southern New Hampshire University Women's Leadership Summit

Today I’m pleased to share a guest post from Chris Perry, a Gen Y Brand and Marketing Generator, a Career Search and Personal Branding Expert and the Founder of Career Rocketeer, the Career Search and Personal Branding Blog.

Whether you know it or not, we Gen Yers have a competitive edge over older job seekers in the career search. We are less expensive to hire, we are more impressionable (not having already settled into one company culture or way of doing things), and we have grown up with ever-changing technology, having become fast learners as a result.

However, the major obstacle that we encounter in our career search keeping us from getting the job is our lack of previous “real-world” work experience. Especially considering the current economic situation, this is not the issue you want to run into when you graduate and suddenly realize that it’s too late to go back in time and fill in your resume.

Whether or not you know what you want to do in your full-time career, I can’t begin to impress upon you the importance of gaining as much experience as possible during your high school, college and grad school careers. Experience is experience, even if it is not directly related to the job you are applying for.

Start now and “body-build” your resume while you have the time and the opportunity to set yourself up for the career of your dreams. I also recommend that you sign up with LinkedIn so you can show off your “heavyweight” resume online!

“How can I body-build my resume?” you might ask. Here are six ways all Gen Yers can gain more valuable leadership and professional experiences and skills:

1. Summer Internships: Summer employment is essential to most Gen Yers. We need the money, and it gives us a little structure to our vacation. However, an internship may be much more valuable to you and your career than a traditional hourly gig. Summer internships often have full-time hours, last multiple weeks and/or months and provide you real accomplishments, professional contacts, references and opportunities for full-time employment. If your financial situation allows it, do consider unpaid internship opportunities, for there may be more of them in this job market than usual. No one will ever ask you if your internship was paid or unpaid, and unpaid internships can offer just as valuable experience and can also lead to full-time paid opportunities.

To find internships of interest to you in this tough economy, I recommend using job aggregators, like Indeed, SimplyHired and LinkUp. Indeed and SimplyHired collect listings from across hundreds of job boards online, including Monster and CareerBuilder, and LinkUp uniquely collects listings directly from company websites, often revealing opportunities that weren’t externally advertised. Craigslist is also a great place to search local opportunities, so check out the internship listings under each city or area of interest or proximity to where you live or go to school. Lastly, never forget the power of the almighty Google. Try Googling specific companies or types of internships. You might be surprised by how much you find.

2. School-Year Internships: Companies and organizations are always in need of interns even after the end of the summer, so if your academic schedule allows some flexibility, consider using the search tips listed above and also checking with your career center for opportunities. This again gives you some valuable experience, references and contacts — and potentially can count for academic credit if unpaid. Also, an unpaid internship may be more acceptable during the school year for students who wouldn’t have enough time to hold a traditional part-time job otherwise.

3. Volunteer Work & Mission Trips: Community service of all types, including domestic and international service trips through church and school groups, offers you a way to give back. It also provides you leadership opportunities and looks really good to employers, especially as more companies develop their corporate social responsibility (CSR) initiatives and efforts. You find these opportunities by asking friends how they get involved, calling up and volunteering for a local animal shelter, serving as a tutor for local students, or joining service fraternities, charitable organizations and churches in your area. You can also search online. Idealist is the global directory of volunteer opportunities and other resources and is a great place to start.

4. Extracurricular Clubs & Activities: Whether you’re in college, grad school or just launching your career, get involved with as many extracurricular groups, organizations and activities of personal interest or relevance to your career as is manageable for your lifestyle. These are often more fun than work, but also help you build up your resume and provide you valuable leadership experience. Invest yourself in your clubs and activities, and pursue more responsibility and leadership positions when opportunities arise.

5. Entrepreneurial Ventures: If you are creative, entrepreneurially-minded and have launched or will launch a business of any size, don’t forget to play up your efforts and accomplishments on your resume. Employers really value entrepreneurs as employees, for they not only find new innovative ways to grow their businesses, but also tend to have strong general business skills.

6. Social Media & Blogging: As more companies and organizations get more involved in social media channels, employers are increasingly seeking social-media-inclined employees. Become an expert on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and any other social media networks in which you are interested, especially from the business perspective. If you have the interest or the ability to blog on career-relevant topics, this is also a great way to really establish your personal brand and expertise and use it to sell yourself in your career search. Google’s Blogger and Wordpress are two great platforms to help you get started and launch your own blog.

My advice to Gen Yers in this job market is to “flex your career muscles,” get more experience and body-build your resume!

This post originally appeared on the Lindsey Pollak Career Blog.

TAGS: Generation Y, Job Search, Resume writing

One of the most pressing challenges women reported in The Thin Pink Line Survey was that of work-life balance. Despite the fact that there are plenty of people who defined the challenge broadly, for example, having to care for elderly parents or a friend who is ill or finding the time to pursue an avocation, the one we heard about most often is the issue of how to raise children and a career at the same time. For example:

“There are only so many hours in a day and I must constantly make choices between business needs and family needs. I could likely advance my career further, but it would come at the expense of my family.”

Even women who don’t yet have children worry about it.

“I will be forced to make tough choices once I start a family. I’m not less capable than any men in my department, in fact I see myself as the most talented and with the most potential. However, I dread the day that I am forced to miss dance recitals or soccer games so that I can continue my work. I think in the end, I will choose family and my ability to receive promotions will suffer.”

Yet what’s a woman to do when she wants a career because she has invested lots of time, energy (and no doubt money) to earn her stripes or even if the situation is she wants to work outside the home because it is an economic necessity for her to do so?

Clearly, this is complicated but today I want to write about expectations. Our own. Of ourselves. They may be just completely unrealistic. Why?

Consider that a recent study by the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology reported that women feel that they are not meeting their own standards at work or at home.

The study’s authors conclude, perfectionism affects more women than men. And that isn’t good news.

If you don’t feel as though you deserve it, it is highly unlikely that you will be in the best frame of mind to advocate for yourself at work or at home. Trust me, your feelings about yourself will definitely impact your success at negotiating the things that will enable you to balance work and family. You have to get out of your own way to get in a good position.

If you are feeling inadequate at work:

• Look around. Observe how much others are doing and the results they are getting. How does what you are doing and your results stack up? Don’t be surprised if you end up feeling much better.

• Work smart. Figure out to whom you can delegate. If you are the lowest women on the totem pole and have no one to whom you can delegate, take a deep breath and get creative. Think about ways you can templatize things. Let technology assist.

• Realize that there is almost always more work than can be done in even a long work day. Learn how to prioritize. Do the important things, not just the urgent ones.

If you are feeling inadequate at home:

• Set aside private time. Communicate that to those who need to know and don’t let work intrude unless there is a real emergency.

• Prioritize. Decide what is important to you. Is it spending time reading with your kids or is it a spotless home? Whatever answers you come up with, don’t be afraid to change your priorities as your children grow.

• When you are with your children, be present. Among other things, it means no sly BlackBerry sneak-peaks. It means really listening.

No doubt you’ve heard it said that “you can have it all ─ just not at the same time.”  But perhaps you can – if you also have realistic standards of success.

TAGS: perfectionism, standards, work life balance