As I follow interesting trials regularly, the Bear Stearns trial of two former hedge fund executives accused of fraud by failing to disclose to investors that the funds were in trouble caught my attention.  This trial became even more interesting to me, however, since reports surfaced that Susan Brune, the defense attorney for Matt Tannin, one of the defendants, cried while delivering her closing statement.

I wonder whether Brune was really overcome by emotion she couldn’t control or whether her tears were intended to elicit sympathy for her client from the jury.

My guess is that many of us have had a career moment where we were close to tears or even went all the way.  While we are only human, I think we’d all agree that it’s best to try hard not to break down in the office (or in the courtroom, for that matter).  While welling up once every ten years or so may be tolerated, bawling definitely doesn’t help one’s brand!

Some things to help:

• If you are able to, consider the best time of the day for you to have a difficult conversation.
  If you are freshest in the morning, schedule the meeting then.  If you have an important deadline looming, postpone the meeting until that has passed.

• When you feel yourself getting emotional, act preemptively.
  Excuse yourself before it is clear to others that you are on the verge and head some place quiet and private; fresh air is a terrific help if you can get outside.  If you can’t get away, take a deep breath or two; it really helps restore your equilibrium.

• If you do break down, don’t give in to the luxury of a complete loss of control.
  This is not the time to wallow in the righteousness of your cause or your justifiable anger or hurt ─ you must recover quickly. Breathe deeply, stand up, walk around, distract yourself.

• Acknowledge, don’t apologize.
  My experience has been that apologies make people even more uncomfortable. You might say something like. “As you can see, I feel very strongly about this and would like to continue to discuss it later but I’d like to stop talking about it at this moment.  Can we agree to that?”

As it turned out, her client was acquitted but the case isn’t over yet for me – I’m still wondering about Brune’s tears.

TAGS: bear-stearns, Crying at Work, LinkedIn, Susan Brune