When the chemistry between us was something our colleagues noticed and we could not deny, he initiated “the talk.” For all the right reasons, we agreed that we would not be any more than friendly colleagues.

There were times when our self-imposed rules were so hard to honor. Did I mention those years were painful? But we both knew the damage a relationship would do to our careers, especially his.

I was not willing to jeopardize my career to test out a relationship. Although we had strong feelings for each other, who’s to say that once we actually dated that we would actually build a long term relationship? But if the relationship had worked out and become long term, it would have been worth the sacrifice. I just couldn’t roll those dice.

But you asked questions, didn’t you?

What should Carol do? Find another job. If she has been labeled as someone the “powers that be” will not trust at that company, her career is officially stalled.

Once she finds another position with another company, I hope she knows not to date at work.

I always had a strict rule not to date anyone at the same company for exactly these reasons.