I’ve had a couple experiences recently that reminded me just how wrong networking can go.  The situations below are related to business development but the same principles apply to networking for jobs or career advice or  for any other purpose.

Situation #1: A woman to whom I was introduced at an event a few weeks ago by a mutual acquaintance followed up with an email suggesting a follow-up meeting. Her client base overlaps with mine so it seemed as though we might be able to help one another. So far, so good. We agreed to a date, place and time and she promised to confirm the day before. She didn’t, so I did. I arrived at the meeting place on time. She emailed three minutes before we were scheduled to meet that she was delayed ─ she finally arrived twenty minutes later. It was clear from the questions she asked that she had done no homework to understand what it is that I do. The last straw was when she asked me if I had ever met the woman who had introduced us at the event! The chances that I would even consider referring my clients to her evaporated – what would make me think she would treat them any differently than she treated me?

Situation #2: Another woman I met briefly at a different event (let’s call her Laura) is a money manager. She told me she often hires speakers for events she holds for her clients. Laura followed up by asking a colleague of hers (let’s call her Gail) to schedule a lunch meeting for the three of us to discuss a possible speaking engagement. Gail and I agreed to a date but then she called to reschedule it because Laura wasn’t available ─ twice! The long postponed meeting day finally arrived; Gail called that morning to explain that while Laura would not be able to join us, another person in the group was available and that I would enjoy meeting her. While the food and ambiance at lunch was lovely, the conversation was strained. Why? It became clear early on that the purpose of the lunch was for them to solicit my business. I abhor a “bait and switch” maneuver. On top of that, the newcomer had no social skills whatsoever!

As the cliché goes, “You only get one chance to make a good first impression.” Some suggestions to make your networking successful:

• Plan carefully
  Set the meeting for a day and time you will be able to show up unless a true emergency unfolds. Don’t try to fit a meeting into a week that’s already filled with important deadlines. And get there on time ─ not doing so sends a message about how you prioritize the relationship.

• Be prepared
  Learn as much as you can about the person with whom you are meeting. Figure out how you might be able to help him or her. Also think about ways he/she may be able to help you.

• Be honest
  All the way along. About everything.

As for me, I have decided to just say “no” to follow up meetings!

TAGS: follow-up, LinkedIn, Networking