Last week, Elena Kagan was confirmed to the United States Supreme Court — she’ll join Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sonia Sotomayor to constitute a “critical mass” of women on the highest court in the country (with apologies to our non-U.S. readers). Critical mass, a theory first posed by Harvard professor and renowned business thought leader, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, is the concept that once the number of women reaches 30% in an organization, they are no longer “tokens”. Their actions are seen as those of organizational decision-makers, rather than through the lens of gender.

Whew! What a relief! Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman on the Court, must have been lonely when she took her seat. For a long time, everything from her choice to wear a lace jabot with her robe to her hairstyle was scrutinized. Justice Ginsburg, who joined her on the Court in 1993, stated she was lonely when O’Connor retired.  Quoted by USA Today, Ginsburg said:

“…I didn’t realize how much I would miss her until she was gone.”

Critical mass is important to women who don’t serve on the U.S. Supreme Court too. Those of us who’ve been in the workplace for a while can clearly remember being the only woman in the room — it wasn’t fun. And, regardless of your tenure in the workplace, it’s important to reach out to help other women to be successful. Consider your behavior:

• Are you a diva? Divas believe that there is room for only one woman in a starring role — and that she’s in line for the part. Today’s workplace, as competitive as it is, has room for more than one female lead. Don’t make the mistake of approaching your female colleagues from a perspective of scarcity.

• Are you in denial? Some successful women are reluctant to admit that playing field is not yet even. They figure that because they were able to make it, the obstacles really weren’t that daunting. Other women shouldn’t expect things to be better — after all, shouldn’t they suffered too?

• Or, are you a doer? Doers help other women to build strategic networks. They mentor other women. They do what they can to help other women to succeed.

As Madeleine Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

Stay away from there!

TAGS: critical mass, Elena Kagan, LinkedIn, U.S. Supreme Court

I gave a keynote talk last week at the Women Advisors Forum in Chicago. Despite travel delays and lost luggage, I was fortunate enough to arrive in time for the final panel, Women Redefining Contemporary Philanthropy.

It was wonderful to learn that notwithstanding the economy, the number of not-for-profits being created in the U.S. has trended up in the last couple of years. This must be the silver lining to the recession cloud! Given that the percentage of wealth women control is also increasing, it seems to me that we have a wonderful opportunity to make a difference, both collectively and individually.

Giving is an intensely personal decision. To which charity? Should you give time or money or both? If you plan to give money, how much? Should you give it while you are alive or as a bequest? Check the organizations you are considering donating to carefully to be sure they are legitimate and seek advice from experts you trust as needed. As an aside, if you are seeking a worthy cause, check out the Bloom Again Foundation, founded by thethinpinkline’s very own Dr. Lois Frankel.

At the end of the day (a cliché that fits perfectly in this context), what matters is not how much you give but that you gave.

Readers, tell us about the causes you care about.

TAGS: charity, philanthropy

Bette Midler sang it best. And we know it’s true. Lots of research shows that not only is friendship emotionally rewarding but good for physical health as well. And I’ve been thinking about friendship these last few days for a couple of reasons.

The first is that I received flowers on Friday from a friend who sent them to celebrate good news I’d recently received. She’d already been very supportive of me throughout the experience ─ caring but not intrusive ─ so to receive this gorgeous arrangement on top of that caused me to tear up. It’s hard to describe how blessed I felt to be the recipient of that sort of kindness.

The second is a tea I attended over the weekend for a friend’s fortieth birthday. Given by three of her friends (and her mom), it was just lovely. Her friends from college (one flew to the East Coast from California to attend!), from work, from her M.B.A. degree days as well as those she’d met while volunteering her time were all there. We were only too pleased to try to reciprocate for the many wonderful things she’s done to build and maintain friendships with each of us.

What was the lesson for me? That you should always be open to allowing more friends into your life and your heart. Sadly, I very well might have missed friendships with these wonderful women. Why? Because one was a client and I believed that one should always keep a professional distance from clients. The other? I might have considered her a professional competitor rather than a potential friend had she not reached out to me. Happily, each of these friends taught me a lesson best summed up by American writer, Sarah Orne Jewett (The Country of the Pointed Firs , 1896):

“Yes’m, old friends is always best,’less you can catch a new one that’s fit to make an old one out of.”

TAGS: Friendships, Girlfriends, LinkedIn

From June Cleaver to Hillary Clinton, Gail Collins‘ new book, When Everything Changed, reminds us of both how much everything has changed for American women in the last 50 years ─ and just how little. Collins writes skillfully about the “olden” days when a glamour career for a woman was to be a stewardess and when the reason most women went to college to get a “Mrs.”.

As accessible as she is on the Op-Ed page of the New York Times, and as wryly funny, Collins illustrates the historical facts with the stories of real women including those whose names we all know (Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama) as well as those we would probably not know unless we read her book.

What Collins does particularly well though is to highlight that there still isn’t gender parity in America’s workplaces or homes. She ends on a note that celebrates how far we’ve come with a reality check – the gender pay gap still exists, too few women serve as CEOs or sit on corporate boards and the work-life balance conundrum has yet to be resolved.

When Everything Changed is an inspiring book.  If we have forgotten the sacrifices and struggles of women who blazed the trail and take the fact that they changed the world, we should be reminded.  And even if we haven’t, Collins shows us that we have miles to go before we sleep.

Let’s get busy!

And please, after you’ve read When Everything Changed, comment here about what you will do differently as a result.

TAGS: Gail Collins, LinkedIn

Many years ago, a much cherished friend gave me the nickname “Valuable”.  It was her way of respecting my Mom’s wish that my given name of Valerie not be shortened (though Val is quite fine with me) – while simultaneously delighting her by creating such a complimentary substitution. 

This same friend is the one who showed me by her example - this most valuable life lesson:  once we have the freedom to re-invent ourselves, it opens up a buffet of choices. 

Her menu has always been varied.  She has successfully and deliberately re-invented what she chooses to do with her time but more importantly, re-evaluated how she felt about herself with each change.   Her career started working at the beginning of the life cycle – as a nurse midwife.  She was present for the birth of both of my daughters.  Her career now post, raising children, surving widowed and the grandmother to a growing nest – is as a geriatric medical specialist.  

In the midst of the lives we live – there is always change.  Remembering my friend’s valuable life lesson has always helped me (eventually) see a bigger menu – a buffet of choices.  It does again as we are changing and starting to feel the beginning cycle of a recovering economy. 

I believe that in the midst of this infant recovery are important generational change characteristics about personal money and what people are choosing to do with it.  Call them the characteristics of new philanthropists in which cultural changes are rampant. 

Younger generations are re-inventing the reasons, ways and to whom they tithe; looking for a return on their investment when it comes to which not-for-profits they support and commit to sustain as their assets and incomes grow.  Charitable giving is coming of a valuable new age and new philanthropists – however rich or modest their financial circumstances – want to see the good of their assets rather than just feeling good about their actions. 

This new mindset is real and worthy.  It will require each of us to commit to seeing/reassessing/recalculating where everybody is now when it comes to money relations.  The old “we’ve always done it this way” formula doesn’t work anymore.  Financial sustainability has new metrics these days and for the future.

The challenge:  each of us must figure out how to move the financial people in our respective lives into the new money direction we each need – and do it without getting everyone’s back up.  A buffet of choices on how to do that is available to you.  Get creative.  Talk with your lenders, creditors and other financial services representatives in your money house and get your money needs recalculated.  It’s doable.  It’s worthy.  It’s valuable. 

Here’s to your health and wealth.

TAGS: charitable giving, philanthropy, Re-inventing money disciplines, recovering economy

When it comes to money – what kind of saver are you?

Several years ago I came across a great, straightforward answer to that question.  It was in financial education literature from the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas which is one of the network of twelve banks and their branches that make up the Federal Reserve system (http://www.dallasfed.org/ca/wealth/pdfs/wealth.pdf)

The publication outlined four types of savers:

• The planner saver – a person who controls spending and budgets to save.
• The struggler saver – someone who has trouble staying afloat financially and finds it difficult to save.
• The denier saver – a person who sees no reason for a budget because they don’t see themselves in trouble financially.
• The impulsive saver – a person who unfortunately spends today like there’s no tomorrow because their attitude is that tomorrow will take care of itself.

So, what type saver are you?

To accumulate, grow and preserve your money takes discipline.  While it’s important to have a savings account, don’t forget to get on track to also have an “emergency fund“:  3-6 months worth of living expenses (12 months worth if you’re self-employed) in an account where you can easily access the money if there’s a critical need. 

Regardless the type saver you are – you can improve your savings goal by remembering this bottom line:  you must always earn more than you spend.  Or said another way, let spending less be your goal.  That’s a healthy state of fiscal readiness and takes your savings to another level: investing. 

If saving to invest and investing to build wealth is your goal – http://showmomthemoney.com/personalgrowth/7traits.htm take a look at what’s described as the traits of very wealthy people and how those traits translate into building wealth and sustaining it. 

Wealthy people tend to be:

• Persistent.  For anyone, on the way to achieving a goal, you will face obstacles, right?  Wealth  is achieved by negotiating one’s way around or through numerous obstacles persistently.
• Businessmen and women or investors in businesses.  Think about it.  The richest people we’ve heard about all own companies and when asked say – to create wealth, you must involve yourself in business because that’s where the money is.
• Innovative.  Innovation ensures you’ll be among the ones who come up with new ideas and new ideas can create wealth.  They tend to do what they absolutely love and love it so much that they forget they’re actually working.
• Leverage.  They know when to let go and they know not to try and do everything themselves.

It appears that wealthy people also share the philosophy that to whom much is given, much is expected – and therefore share the trait of giving back by supporting causes in which they believe.   Finally, they value and participate in continuing education since extremely wealthy people tend to believe that the greatest asset in the world is your mind.

Here’s to your health and wealth!

TAGS: improving savings goals, saving money, traits of wealthy people, types of savers

I was inspired by my colleague Carol Frohlinger’s The “Pink Elephant” in the Room (July 27th 2009) post about how important our personal perceptions and experiences when confronted with a difficult issue.  She went on to say that might be what happens when women are asked about their experiences in working with other women.

The phrase (pink) “elephant in the room” describes something that should be very obvious, something you’d certainly notice.  “Elephant in the room” is actually an English idiom for an obvious truth regarding a question, problem, solution, or controversial issue that though obvious, is ignored by a group of people and goes unaddressed, generally out of embarrassment or taboo.

One of the biggest “pink elephants” in the room for professional women these days – is the one in green that begins with:  “We’d love for you to be our keynote speaker” (workshop leader, seminar facilitator, panelist, consultant) and ends with:  “…but we have very little money, so we thought you might be willing to…”

This long ignored “pink elephant” is making the other members of the herd green with envy.  

How can this elephant not even get talked about?  How is it that this elephant doesn’t get researched, discussed, tweaked and resolved the way most of those other touchy, uncomfortable, “oh-do-we-have-to-go-there” pink elephants (issues) do? 

How can this elephant that asks women professionals to donate their services – same event, same time every year, extremely worthy causes but not paychecks – still be standing in the center of the room when the reason for the gathering is to talk about women improving their financial well-being or managing the marketing of their product and brand to improve their business bottomline?

How can this elephant not understand it needs to walk the thin pink line and pay women professionals for their services and promote that mindset within their organizations?

Women now have impressive social networks and access to other professional women through these connections.  But far too often, we’re still being asked to ask each other to provide our expertise without compensation, or below market value or without the other basic fee for services and terms of engagement automatically afforded our male counterparts.

Part of this has to do with expectations.  Our average guy counterpart just isn’t expected to do as many pro bono gigs as the average professional woman.  That’s why I think it’s time for women to change the old mindset by consistently and proactively committing to pay each other (and get each other paid) for our skills, expertise, knowledge, know-how, ideas and anything else that formerly fell under the  ”we thought you might be willing to” category.

Glinda Bridgforth, a long-time and well respected colleague of mine in the field of personal finance, agrees but says it’s also important that women ask for what we believe we deserve.   Bridgforth is President and CEO of Bridgforth Financial & Associates, LLC (http://www.bridgforthfinancial.com/) and offers these suggestions on how to determine what you’re worth, what your compensation should be. 

“It’s important to get as much information as possible from the potential client,” Bridgforth says.  “Ask what kind of budget they have for a speaker.  Ask who the other speaker candidates are to get a sense of the professional caliber of speaker being sought.  The responses to those two questions give you an indication of the kind of fee the client’s willing to pay.”    Her suggestions can helps you get and set a good ballpark figure instead of guessing and potentially low balling your services or blowing yourself out of consideration.

Bridgforth and I both agree that philanthropy and community service should be part of everyone’s work ethic and responsibility.  “Women can do pro bono or work for lesser compensation on occasion because it is a seed that is being planted which can bloom into some other area,” Bridgforth says.  “Perhaps it can come from someone in the audience who will hire you in the future at your full rate.  But clearly, the pink elephant (in green) is in the room.”

Let’s address the “pink elephant” in green.  Let’s not be embarrassed.  It’s time for women to collectively stop participating in the “pink elephant”-in-green-mentality that abuses, confuses or co-mingles female philanthropy with professional compensation. 

Here’s to your health and wealth.

Glinda Bridgforth is the author of “Girl Get Your Credit Straight” and “Girl Get Your Money Straight”.

TAGS: improving women's financial well-being, pay for professional services, pink elephant issue, Thin pink line issue

Does the date October 27^th, 1997 have any financial significance to you? 

It was the day the Hong Kong stock market collapsed.  The Hang Seng Index plummeted, causing massive selloffs in financial markets around the world and initiating a 554-point plunge on the Dow Jones Industrial Average.  It was the day automatic trading curbs or collars as they’re also called — went into effect.  The protocols of those curbs have now changed, but back then, they would halt trading for half an hour if the market fell 350 points; for an hour if down 550 points. 

Those curbs or collars — had never been used before that day.  The Dow shot past the first collar.  Trading halted for 30 minutes.  When trading resumed, so did the freefall – like a hot knife through butter, the Dow lost another 200 hundred points.  Down 550, with less than half an hour left to the closing bell, trading was halted for the day.  The financial repercussions were felt around the world. 

Working that story as a financial journalist absolutely solidified my commitment to work from that day forward in ways to positively impact the financial futures of women because that day – investors, particularly women – needed to have had a plan in place to take advantage of  “the sale” – the bargain-hunting or bottom fishing opportunities that such an incident (market meltdown) creates. 

There’s nothing like a financial crisis to get everybody’s attention and change attitudes.  The current recession is the money madness everyone’s dealing with right now but the lessons hopefully learned from 1997 are being remembered:  reassess, reorganize and realign your financial plan to ensure your own financial future. 

Money has long been a gender-specific arena.  But, today’s women of all economic circumstances must learn the art of negotiating the best possible use of what money we have, and, the confidence to make a significant portion of that money grow for us into the future. 

When it comes to money, women have unique needs in three areas:  investment planning, retirement and business ownership.  We have lower salaries, longer life spans and fewer pensions.  Those facts add up to the need for a financial plan and action.  And, since we have a longer life expectancy, we need to seek a more balanced portfolio.  Money is power and we’ve simply got to become equal to the task. 

Twenty years ago, when my first marriage ended in divorce, I assumed all family debt in order to keep order in the timely and fragile area known as personal credit.  The job of reconstructing life – emotionally and financially – was enormous.  Post divorce the dollar reserves were small.  I’d made a lot of money and lived as many Baby Boomers did – with the confidence that there was more coming from where it had always come – my earning ability, which had been the primary support for the family.  My financial knowledge background was modest back then but my financial future needs were totally dependent on me figuring out how to do what needed to be done in a short amount of time.

Women face different life circumstances than men:  lower salaries, longer life span, fewer pensions, interrupted careers for care giving of children or elderly parents.  We need to realign ourselves in order to embrace change on our own behalf.  We cannot afford to wait for change to come.  We must become agents for change.

We women always have a plan – even in the midst of multi-tasking careers and managing home and family.  We have “what-to-do-if” scenarios for just about everything.  Not enough of us, however, have a clearly stated financial plan that allows us to take advantage of financial opportunities such as the massive selloff of October 27^th, 1997.   And, despite that missed opportunity – widely lamented by investors who weren’t positioned or able to respond to their advantage – how many of us in the nearly 12 years since then – have restructured our fiscal strategies to be beneficiaries rather than victims of market fluctuations and volatility? 

Here’s to your health and wealth.

TAGS: 1997, bargain hunting stocks, business ownership, current recession, gender specific money needs, Hong Kong stock market, investment planning, lower salaries, Market meltdowns, October 27th, pensions, personal credit, protocols, retiremet, trading curbs

I am enamored by the concept and the term of “paying it forward“.  It was popularized by Robert A. Heinlein in his book Between Planets, published in 1951.  The expression is used to describe the idea of asking that a good deed be repaid by having it done to others instead of you.  When it comes to money – the expression specifically means the creditor offers the debtor the option of  “paying” the debt (forward) by lending the amount to a third person instead of paying it (back) to the original creditor.

So, in the spirit of this concept, I invite you to share your financial knowledge, what worked and didn’t work for you, and how you’ve successfully managed your personal finances in order to provide some money management principles to which younger women can aspire.  And as you do this – remember the person who gave you an early loan in the spirit of providing financial guidelines. 

Since 90% of all women – married or single - will be responsible for their own financial future, young women must get the education needed to take control of personal money management reins for whatever reason. The reasons are far reaching, they’re global and almost always accompanied by daunting – if not massive – financial dilemmas (divorce, downsizing, stepfamilies, birth, death, aging or frail parents, career changes, children, career ceilings) that compromise women attaining and maintaining their lifestyle.

I have a serious commitment to teaching financial independence to young women.  My husband and I have four daughters – his two and my two – between the ages of 31 to 36.  We’re working to change their psychological approach and attitudes about money – from the traditional and loving but misguided idea that they don’t really need to know – to encouraging them and impressing upon them the importance of becoming educated about how to take care of themselves financially independently.

Their financial plans and ours share some vital components that go into the paying it forward category.  Women should:

• Show proactive leadership in early investing through such vehicles as investment clubs and scheduled gatherings in order to share information (and build momentum for understanding) about wealth building.
• Make a commitment to identify and partner women and wealth as a means of fostering entrepreneurship.
• Understand that financial independence and romance can peacefully co-exist.
• Use extreme care regarding co-mingling money, assess your own risk tolerance and know the risk tolerance of your spouse or partner.
• Actively support and continue building wealth while integrating work and family life – remembering that time away from work (as women bear children or take leaves of absence to care for elderly parents) means an interruption in the accumulation of pension funds.
• Give the children in our lives an early lesson about investing and the magic of compounding by giving them stock as gifts (a share in a company whose products they use and know gives them a real sense of ownership early) and/or a 529 Plan that pays for continuing education in the future at today’s prices.
• Work toward improving the sad equation of lower salaries for women for comparable work.

We’re living longer and will be able to afford it if we make a plan, get educated, stay educated and truly know that it’s never too late (and certainly never too early) to get started securing a financial future.  We can do this. 

My generation got used to the idea of being “superwomen”.  We raised children while simultaneously nurturing a career and keeping romance alive with a long-time or second chance spouse or partner.  We even began accepting the fact that it was okay to be good to ourselves!  That concept was – and still is – a tough one.  Most of us then and now were/are conditioned to just keep going and going and going.  We need to believe and pass along to younger women as Emerson wrote:  “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Within each of you is the ability to create wealth for our financial futures.  We have successfully run the home and workplace infrastructures simultaneously. We function in chaos sometimes but tend to finish in style.  Being persistent on behalf of our families (while still being good to ourselves) is key.  It will help you get a plan, get a financial life and make long term contingencies.  The ability to be pro-active instead of reactive is the foundation for financial staying power.

Pay forward the idea of getting an authentic financial life.  Find other women with similar needs and the desire to secure their financial future and pool the resources of your collective wealth of knowledge.  Make that commitment today.

Here’s to your health and wealth!

TAGS: creating wealth, daughters, entrepreneurship, financial dilemmas, financial independence, financial knowledge, Paying it forward, risk tolerance, superwomen, work and life integration

One of the most pressing challenges women reported in The Thin Pink Line Survey was that of work-life balance. Despite the fact that there are plenty of people who defined the challenge broadly, for example, having to care for elderly parents or a friend who is ill or finding the time to pursue an avocation, the one we heard about most often is the issue of how to raise children and a career at the same time. For example:

“There are only so many hours in a day and I must constantly make choices between business needs and family needs. I could likely advance my career further, but it would come at the expense of my family.”

Even women who don’t yet have children worry about it.

“I will be forced to make tough choices once I start a family. I’m not less capable than any men in my department, in fact I see myself as the most talented and with the most potential. However, I dread the day that I am forced to miss dance recitals or soccer games so that I can continue my work. I think in the end, I will choose family and my ability to receive promotions will suffer.”

Yet what’s a woman to do when she wants a career because she has invested lots of time, energy (and no doubt money) to earn her stripes or even if the situation is she wants to work outside the home because it is an economic necessity for her to do so?

Clearly, this is complicated but today I want to write about expectations. Our own. Of ourselves. They may be just completely unrealistic. Why?

Consider that a recent study by the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology reported that women feel that they are not meeting their own standards at work or at home.

The study’s authors conclude, perfectionism affects more women than men. And that isn’t good news.

If you don’t feel as though you deserve it, it is highly unlikely that you will be in the best frame of mind to advocate for yourself at work or at home. Trust me, your feelings about yourself will definitely impact your success at negotiating the things that will enable you to balance work and family. You have to get out of your own way to get in a good position.

If you are feeling inadequate at work:

• Look around. Observe how much others are doing and the results they are getting. How does what you are doing and your results stack up? Don’t be surprised if you end up feeling much better.

• Work smart. Figure out to whom you can delegate. If you are the lowest women on the totem pole and have no one to whom you can delegate, take a deep breath and get creative. Think about ways you can templatize things. Let technology assist.

• Realize that there is almost always more work than can be done in even a long work day. Learn how to prioritize. Do the important things, not just the urgent ones.

If you are feeling inadequate at home:

• Set aside private time. Communicate that to those who need to know and don’t let work intrude unless there is a real emergency.

• Prioritize. Decide what is important to you. Is it spending time reading with your kids or is it a spotless home? Whatever answers you come up with, don’t be afraid to change your priorities as your children grow.

• When you are with your children, be present. Among other things, it means no sly BlackBerry sneak-peaks. It means really listening.

No doubt you’ve heard it said that “you can have it all ─ just not at the same time.”  But perhaps you can – if you also have realistic standards of success.

TAGS: perfectionism, standards, work life balance