Why is it that so many Americans have a difficult time with smart, strong, and sometimes angry, Black women?   Has it ever occurred to them that Black women have good reason to be angry?  Comments like this one made by Ms. Obama, “For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country,” shouldn’t be feared or reviled but welcomed because they express what many others are thinking but are afraid to say.  Black women are more likely to be single Moms, live in poverty, and have a more difficult time getting their “corner offices” (forget about them getting the Oval Office for a while) than their White counterparts.  That alone would be enough to make me angry. 

As an executive coach I’ve seen first-hand the struggle Black women have in the workplace.  If they dare to express themselves in clear, no uncertain terms they’re labeled as “problem employees.”  Co-workers and management don’t quite know what to do with them.  But they’re not the problem, a society that wants all women — especially Black ones — to stay in their places with smiles on their faces is the problem.  Black women walk The Thin Pink Line every day — and more so than the rest of us. 

I guarantee you that Obama’s handlers, wanting to get their man elected, are going to expect Michelle to dumb down, quiet down, and settle down.  Laura Bush and Barbara Bush did.  Nancy Reagan exerted herself in stereotypically feminine ways that were acceptable.  And poor Pat Nixon just shrank into herself.  Even Hillary made herself scarce after the healthcare debacle.  Michelle scares people — and we need scaring.  Social change isn’t created by the meek but by the bold.  By those who have the courage to take risks and speak their minds.  Michelle’s voice will help not only Black women, but all Americans whose voices have been quieted by small minds with big mouths.  Whether or not you’re an Obama fan you should be encouraging Mrs. O to remain true to her beliefs and her values.  She’s out there widening the playing field for all of us. 

TAGS: Barbara Bush, Black women, Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, Nancy Reagan, Pat Nixon, women and anger

One of the things I like best about weekends is more time to enjoy the New York Times. Lots of interesting items this weekend:

1. Paul Brown (What’s Offline) reports that Paula Spencer (writing in Women’s Day) opines that there is no way for one to actually achieve work life balance. Her advice is to accept it and move on. I agree - especially since the guilt many women feel about not being able to do it all, all at the same time takes time we just don’t have.

2. M. P. Dunleavey writes that new research by Tahira K. Hira and Cazilla Loibl shows that women often abdicate responsibly for financial planning. It seems that the majority of women they studied find making decisions about saving and investing stressful. If you didn’t find yourself in the minority of women who stay engaged in making decisions about money before now, hopefully, the sorry sordid mess that Eliot Spitzer made will remind that no matter how theoretically able your partner is to take the reigns, you still need to pay attention.
3. In much more encouraging news, Norway’s law requiring companies to fill 40 percent of corporate board seats with women by 2008 worked. In 1993, women held only 3% of board seats, in 2002, the number was 6%. Now, the goal’s been met and the value of board diversity is spreading to other parts of Europe. While chances are we won’t benefit from a law requiring more women on boards of US companies, we can choose to exert our economic power by keeping an eye on how well the companies in which we invest accept women. Read more about how you can take action

TAGS: corporate boards, economic power, New York Times, where are the women?, work life balance

Did you see last night’s Celebrity Apprentice? I couldn’t believe it. They were down to the final four:  Piers Morgan, Carol Alt, Trace Adkins and Lenox Lewis.  Trump brings in two outsiders to “interview” them.  There was no disagreement that the last woman still in the competition, Carol Alt, was a top contender.  She was laser-focused and articulate.  In comparison, the segments they showed of the men’s interviews were lackluster. Even Trump thought she was outstanding.  Both interviewers told Trump that they felt Morgan would win at any cost but did not exemplify true leadership.  So what does Trump do?  After he points out how gorgeous Alt is (which only underscores his own emphasis on the superficial) he chose Adkins and Morgan because he wanted to see them “fight it out.” 

Now I realize that ratings play a big part in the decisions made on the show, but the same scenario takes place in more typical workplaces every day.  The spoils don’t always go to the best and the brightest.  They go to those whom senior management decides they should go to and this is often the people they are most comfortable with or who are most like them.  The result? Truly great leaders who are not white and male get lost in the shuffle.  If you’re an executive making decisions about whom to hire or promote onto your executive team it’s your responsibility to check your personal preferences at the door and actively seek people who are dissimilar from you — yet still highly qualified.  Diversity of thought, work style, gender, and ethnicity bring opportunity.  Assuming skill, emotional intelligence and cultural fit are present, the person who makes you most uncomfortable is often the one you have the most to learn from — and the one who will add unique value. 

TAGS: Carol Alt, Donald Trump, Lenox Lewis, Piers Morgan, The Celebrity Apprentice, Trace Adkins

An author’s blog, www.basilandspice.com asked me to write a posting related to women and leadership.  Of course I couldn’t resist the opportunity to get the word out that I believe we live in a time when women’s leadership is not just needed, it’s essential if we want to save the world from war, famine, random acts of violence, corporate greed, etc.  But an interesting thing happened as I was writing it.  I found myself becoming angrier and angrier at just how hard it really is to get women’s voices to the leadership table.  Polls conducted last year indicated that America was more ready for an African American president than a woman.  If you take a look at the polls today it seems they were right.  Only 33% of men voted for Hillary in the primaries.  Then I thought about the Supreme Court, founded in 1790.  That’s 218 years and we can’t do better than one woman and one person of color on a court that decides which laws apply to a mult-cultural society? I won’t even quote the numbers of women on corporate boards and in CEO positions — we all know how lousy those figures are.  What’s a woman to do?  She’s to make her voice heard by courageously challenging the status quo.  If we aren’t part of the solution, we’re part of the problem.  I’m not suggesting that we make better leaders than men, but I do know we make different leaders.  For too long we’ve bought into the nonsense that what makes us different makes us less effectual in leadership roles.  Oh yeah?  Tell that to Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Meg Whitman, Indira Gandhi, Wilma Mankiller, and Rosa Parks.  Just remember this — every time you back down because someone suggests you’re being too emotional, too aggressive, not aggressive enough, or not qualified because you’re a woman you collude with a system that wants to maintain status quo (that’s what a system is — something that perpetuates itself).  The only possible reason why people would want to hold you back or keep you quiet is because you’re right — and baby, that means you’re powerful.  It’s like I told the guy on line behind me in Trader Joe’s the other day who was making nasty remarks about my Hillary for President cap (it was a bad hair day):  I don’t care if Hillary or Obama wins the election — anyone but another old white man. 

TAGS: Hillary Clinton, Supreme Court, women and power, women leaders

As women, most of us have experienced limitations placed on us by family, friends, employers and a society that still does not really see us as equal to men.  This week I made a presentation to the Iranian Jewish Women Organization/Women of Vision — and I think I learned more from them than they learned from me.  If you think it’s tough being a professional woman, try being an Iranian Jewish professional woman!  Most of the women in the audience were first generation Americans, many having come to the U.S. from Iran within the past two decades.  Their parents, siblings, husbands and friends are firmly entrenched in both the Jewish religion and culture and the Iranian culture.  Many wanted to know how they can achieve their professional goals, yet maintain their religious and cultural identities within their families — families who may not support their professional aspirations.

Whether you’re Iranian Jewish, Latina, or a member of any other nationality or culture that imposes limitations on you because you’re a women, these are a few tips to help you bridge the culture gap:

1. Honor your history.  Make it clear to your family and community that your desire to excel in the world of work is not incompatible with your cultural pride.  Older family members may fear you’re going to lose your rich history.  Head this kind of thinking off at the pass by expressing and showing pride for your unique culture.  Make time to participate in events that affirm your commitment. 
2. Ask for what you need.  Sometimes family members say they want to support your efforts, but act in ways that are not so supportive.  When this happens don’t criticize or point out the duality of the message, but rather be clear about what you do need.  For example, “I’m so glad you want to support my career.  Let me tell you what would be most helpful to me.” Keep it positive and use lots of “I” messages (I need, I would like, I would appreciate, etc.). 
3. Use humor to defuse tension.  If every Sunday you have dinner with your family and every Sunday you’re asked when you’re going to get married or when you’re going to have a baby, practice a witty (but respectful) reply such as, “I’ll tell you what.  When that’s going to happen you’ll be the first to know.”  In other words, lighten up.
4. Don’t try to change attitudes.  That’s a little like trying to teach a pig to sing.  It frustrates you and annoys the pig.  Instead, acknowledge and be respectful of how others see the world and ask for that same respect in return. 
5. Surround yourself with like-minded people.  One of the most wonderful things about the Iranian Jewish Women Organization is the support members give to one another.  Your mother may never accept that  it’s important for you to be a career-woman before you become a wife, but there are other women just like you out there who will support you as you pursue your goals.  Find them.  Spend time with them.  Support them too. 

To learn more about the Iranian Jewish Women Organization visit ijwo.org.

TAGS: assimilating, bridging cultures, Cultural diversity, dealing with family expectations, Iranian Jewish Women