I have to admit it.  I’m a Scrabbleholic.  I crave words.  I take my handheld game with me everywhere.  Long waits in doctor’s offices are made more tolerable when I try to beat my best score.  Television commercials are wasted on me as I pick up my handheld and get in a game between shows. I play while waiting for the car at the car wash.  But I’ve come to realize it’s not such a bad thing.  Scrabble can teach you just about everything you need to know to be successful in life and work.  If you think I’m kidding, consider these valuable lessons:

1.  Look to your opponent to teach you something that might one day come in handy.   When that pesky little computer opponent comes up with a word like qoph (a Hebrew letter) or jato (a takeoff aided by jet propulsion) I am compelled to immediately look it up to learn its meaning.  Then, at the perfect opportunity, I turn the tables and use one of those words to win the game. 

2.  When you’re winning, take more risks.  If I’m ahead by 100 or 150 points, that’s the time when I lay down a word that may or may not be in the official Scrabble dictionary or use spaces dangerously close to the coveted triple word score hoping it will still be available on my next turn. You’d be surprised at how many letters you can string together that form real words that you may have never heard of – like orra (an adjective meaning occasional) or yare (nimble).

3.  Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis.  Sometimes I’ll be staring at my letters, searching for just one word that will allow me to use them all, empty my electronic tray, and reward me with those 50 extra points.  But nothing appears.  Then I start putting letters on the board, shifting them around, playing with words like they were putty in my hands and suddenly they form a word I couldn’t see before I took such bold action.  It’s a reminder that sometimes you just have to make a move that gets you out of your head and into the game.   

4.  Plan ahead and think strategically.  The nights when I’m dog-tired and play the game as an excuse to not have to think much more for the day, are the same times when I’m doomed to mediocrity.  I may win a game here or there, but I don’t reach my personal best.  As in life, in Scrabble you can’t just act for the moment and expect to get ahead in the long-term.  You’ve always got to be thinking about your next move and sometimes the one after that. 

5.  Take the small wins.  Not every move you make is going to allow you to win the jackpot. As much as I loathe having to hit the “done” button knowing a word that will bring me less than 20 points, I also know every point makes a difference. The trick is to pocket the big wins, prepare for the small ones, and at times be grateful you could make any word at all.  You win some, you lose some, but you suit up for them all.

TAGS: playing the game, Scrabble, strategies for success

A friend sent me this card and I just had to share it with you.  It’s by Shannon Martin/Girl Designer.  If you’re not at least a little tired from making waves, it means you’re floating too much (if you catch my drift).  Make a difference – go out and make some waves today.   

TAGS: making a difference, making waves, Shannon Martin Girl Designer

All the bad economic news prompted me to write a column for MSN called “Is your money making you crazy?” I culled suggestions from therapists and financial planners about how to deal with the anxiety caused by volatile markets, a rapidly decelerating economy and plunging home prices.

Psychiatrist James Gottfurcht talked about the importance of snapping the physiological feedback loop that can make anxieties and tension worse. One of his suggestions: have a good laugh.

So along with taking a multivitamin, exercising daily and getting enough sleep (other ways to combat stress), I try to get in at least one good belly laugh a day. My secret weapon: podcasts of “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” the NPR news quiz. At least once a show, someone pops off a one-liner that brings me to my knees (sometimes almost literally–I can’t count the times a “Wait Wait” wisecrack has nearly caused me to fall off the elliptical trainer at my gym).

Laughter may not technically be the best medicine, but it’s a great weapon to have in your arsenal as we get through these interesting times.

TAGS: coping skills, Economy, recession

Someone liked my pony story so much that she asked me to share the pig story that I wrote about in See Jane Lead.  This was a story a friend told me when I was upset about losing a rather large contract and had no idea why.  In a barnyard filled with animals the crow challenges the blue bird to a singing contest.  The blue bird figured it would be a pretty easy win.  After all, there’s no comparison in how the two birds sing.  Together, the crow and the blue bird decide the pig will be the judge of the contest.  The blue bird goes first and magnificently sings her little heart out.  All of the other barnyard animals smile, nod and applaud at the conclusion of her song.  Then the crow sings — in the screeching way that crows do — and the barnyard is silent.  Finally, the pig steps forward and breaks the silence.  “And the winner of the contest is… the crow!”  With this the blue bird begins to sob and many of the other animals surround her reassuring her that she sang so much better than the crow and should have won the contest.  When she finally composed herself enough to speak, the blue bird says, “I’m not crying because I lost the contest.  I’m crying because I let myself be judged by a pig.” 

TAGS: self-esteem

Although I spent much of my career working predominantly with men, I’ve been spoiled over the past few years by having the privilege of speaking mostly to women’s groups and working with women. Why do I say spoiled?  Because it’s a joy to work with people who want to learn, grow, and even laugh at themselves.  I love that about women.  We’re not too proud to admit what we don’t know.  How could we be?  We’ve spent our lives hearing about our shortcomings and what makes us less capable than the other half of the humans inhabiting the planet.  Guys, on the other hand, have the most marvelous way of rationalizing ineptitude.  I mean that.  I wish I could be as good at it.  Like the day a friend and I were put in a golf foursome with two men we didn’t know.  The first fellow tees off and the shot hooks into the woods.  “Ohhh.  That’s too bad,” I said with empathy.  What does this guy reply?  Are you ready?  “It wasn’t a bad shot.  It just didn’t go where I wanted it to go.”  Yeah.  Right.

It’s not by accident that publishers are delighted when authors write self-help books for women.  Women buy far more of these books than men.   And this means not only do we know what we don’t know, we want to fix it!  Ya gotta love that.  Men?  Not only don’t they not know what they don’t know, they don’t want to know (did you follow that?).  I have a little internal gauge that tells me how much resistance I encounter in a day.  It’s a gauge that either screams for one good glass of chardonnay (an indication that I’m exhausted by the resistance) or has me high from the day’s activities (which means I experienced a day filled with the give and take of ideas and information).  Now I’m not saying I mind resistance — I believe it’s one way human beings maintain equilibrium.  A healthy degree of skepticism keeps you from throwing the baby out with the bath water.  But I have noticed that my supply of chardonnay lasts a lot longer when I work with women. 

So, girlfriends, keep up the self-exploration, continue to be open to feedback, and show the willingness to go outside your comfort zone if it means you’ll move one step closer to your personal or professional goals.  Here are some great organizations that can help you to achieve your best:

Personal growth and leadership development: www.ntl.org

Public speaking: www.toastmasters.org  

Negotiation skills: www.negotiatingwomen.org

Individual coaching:  www.coachfederation.org

Company-sponsored coaching & team building: www.corporatecoachingintl.com

Exploring career change:  www.vocationvacations.com

I know from experience that personal development is hard work — but you’re up to it.  And as the little girl who spent all day shoveling horse manure responds when asked what she’s doing, “With all this manure I know there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere.”

TAGS: career change, Coaching, leadership development, men rationalizing, Negotiation, negotiation skills, personal development, self-help, team building, women learning

I come from a long line of women who hold their tongues – except for saying “just one thing.”  I recall my mother telling me how she thought so and so was doing things all wrong but, “I held my tongue” she would proudly say.  Then a little later in the conversation I would find out she did say “just one thing” about it to so and so.  It seems when the women in my family say “just one thing” this counts as saying nothing.  The adult women in our family range in age from 30 - 87 and I see it across all ages, so I’m afraid it’s a genetic thing passed unknowingly from generation to generation.  I thought I was the lucky one who the gene skipped over… until I said “just one thing” the other day.  As my business partner and I left a luncheon she asked why I was so tough on one of our colleagues.  ”Tough?  I held my tongue!” I replied indignantly.  “I said just one thing about the project she was supposed to have finished by now.”  And it was then that I realized I wasn’t so lucky after all.  That gene didn’t pass me over.  It was lying dormant all these years, waiting to emerge triumphantly to prove I had Levenson blood running through my veins.  I had become my mother.     

TAGS: holding your tongue, mothers and daughters

captures perfectly how thethinpinkline has impacted Hillary Clinton in the last week. Take a look:

TAGS: Crying at Work, Hillary Clinton, thethinpinkline