I had the pleasure of meeting with Melanie Billings-Yun and a client of hers last week. Melanie’s written a book called Beyond Dealmaking (which I highly recommend) and is an expert on cross cultural negotiations. She’s lived in London, Paris, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Seoul, Indonesia and Singapore and has first hand experience of how tricky it can be to bridge the cultural divide.

Melanie made the point that negotiating success in a global world is all about understanding and respecting people’s both people’s customs and sensibilities. For example, her book includes a story about Choi, a Korean businessman whose meat importing company had been purchasing meat from a single supplier in Texas for many years. The two companies had an excellent, mutually beneficial relationship. Then, in 1997, when the Asian financial crisis hit Korea and the resulting drop in the value of the Korean currency against the dollar, Choi needed an accommodation from his U.S. supplier. He needed to delay acceptance of the merchandise until orders from his customers picked up and his cash flow improved. The supplier refused, responding through a lawyer’s letter that demanded Choi fulfill the contract as written. Shocked and dismayed, Choi consulted with Melanie. She explained that he shouldn’t take the letter personally ─ sometimes companies go into “autopilot” contract compliance mode in situations like this. But Choi did take it personally, particularly because he had welcomed these supplier into his home when they had visited Korea. Melanie helped him to renegotiate the terms of the contract to those he could manage; he fulfilled his obligations but refused to do any further business with the company.

Refusing to make an accommodation for a business partner in a tight spot usually isn’t the smartest thing to do if you want to continue to do business, regardless of the cultural considerations. But, when dealing with someone who holds the perspective that once you’ve been to his home, you’re a friend, adds a whole new layer of expectations.

As the world continues to shrink, do your homework when dealing with people from other countries, regardless of whether they are colleagues or clients. Pay attention to things that can send messages you didn’t intend. For example, in Asian cultures when someone hands you a business card, it is considered rude to put the card away without taking the time to carefully read it first. Asking yourself, “Who knew?” after making a gaffe like this won’t enhance your image!

Readers, what tips can you share with us from your cross-cultural experiences?

TAGS: Books, cross-cultural, global, LinkedIn

Back in April, I met a woman at a conference I attended, I’ll call her Laurie.  As a follow up to our very pleasant conversation, when I got back to my office, I sent her a copy of Her Place at the Table. To my surprise (and, I must admit to my momentary chagrin) I never received any acknowledgement from Laurie that she received the book.  Then, last week, I received a lovely note from her; she wrote that she too had enjoyed our conversation and thanked me for the book. The letter was dated April 22 and postmarked the same day – she wrote it soon after she received the book.  The U.S. mail had let us down.  That realization caused me to remember just how important it is to ascribe good intentions to people.

Most people do (or at least try to do) the right thing. When their behavior disappoints us, it is helpful to withhold judgment until it is clear that there isn’t a good explanation.

Some thoughts to help build stronger relationships:

• If you’ve reached out to someone and received no response, consider what else may have gone wrong.
  As in my story about Laurie above, there may be a very good reason you haven’t heard back. For example, an unanswered email may have been caught in the recipient’s spam filter, gone to an inactive email address or otherwise failed to reach him/her. Alternatively, as has sometime happened to even the most organized and disciplined of us, it may have simply languished in the well-meaning but very busy recipient’s Inbox having slipped through the cracks. Resend it and if you still get no response, pick up the phone.

• When you hear “no” to a request you think is reasonable, consider why the person you asked won’t go along.
  He or she probably has a rationale that makes sense from his/her perspective. Don’t be reluctant to ask why; understanding the reasons may enable you to propose a different solution that will meet your needs as well as those of the other person.

• If someone you’re meeting is late, don’t jump to the conclusion she’s rude.
  The traffic may have been worse than usual due to an accident, the bus may have broken down or he may have had an unforeseeable client emergency. Any or all of those situations may have been further complicated by a cell phone battery failure. Take a deep breath and give the undoubtedly already stressed latecomer a break.

Of course, if you see patterns of behavior that adversely affect you, you need to acknowledge that too and decide how to handle it. It may be that this particular relationship isn’t worth nurturing. But first, give people the benefit of the doubt!

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, LinkedIn

Maintaining excellent relationships with clients should be a top priority for anyone who provides services; sadly, some ignore the basics. Here is my top five list of “what not to do”:

1. Learn on the client’s dime.
   Don’t be shy to take on a project even if you are not sure that you have the skills and experience to do it; particularly if you are on a per diem or hourly arrangement. After all, whatever you learn while you are on the clock for this client, you’ll know for your next project.
2. Blame the client.
   This is particularly effective when you have failed to estimate project costs appropriately. Tell the client that you can’t be responsible for “scope creep”; not only will you get paid for you but you didn’t know (see #1), but you will introduce guilt into the dynamic.
3. Don’t deliver on time.
   Deadlines are made to be compromised. Your client won’t mind a little slippage here and there; he/she will understand that you are busy.
4. Share your problems with your client.
   Be open about the fact that you have personal problems, technological problems, competing projects etc. Your client, a nice person, will surely understand and make allowances given your troubles.
5. Let your client know you don’t trust him/her.
   Insist on being paid regardless of your failures. Don’t try to rectify the damage you’ve done, trusting that the client will abide by your agreement. Stop work if the client withholds payment; it’ll probably cost your client a lot of time and added expense to hire someone else to finish up what you failed to deliver.

Of course there are more obvious ways to damage a client relationship — for example, not responding in a timely manner to the client’s questions. Rest assured, however, adding these to the mix will ensure you will never get more business or referrals from this client. So keep up your marketing efforts!

TAGS: entrepeneurs, fixing mistakes, growing your business