It was a treat to be asked for an interview by Cleo Thompson who writes the Gender Agenda for PricewaterhouseCoopers.  Cleo asks great questions and gave me the opportunity to think out loud about the critical importance of negotiation skills. 

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, negotiation skills, the thin pink line

Today’s economy has made the workplace more competitive than ever.   Financial services firms, retailers, and even your neighborhood Starbuck’s are feeling the crunch.  You can increase the likelihood of not just surviving in this economy, but thriving by being the kind of employee who adds value and is also a delight to work with.   Try following these ten simple steps to increase the likelihood of being bullet proof:

1.    Make it easy to give you feedback by regularly asking what you can do “more of” or “less of” to better meet the boss’s expectations. 

2.    When you are given feedback, don’t rebut it or argue with it.  Simply listen, thank the boss for taking the time to give it to you and promise that you will take it seriously.  Then act in ways that show you got the message. 

3.    Learn the boss’s primary objectives and develop your own goals around those.   Be certain to illuminate how your actions are in sync with his or hers.  Making the boss look good makes you look good.

4.    Don’t cry on the boss’s shoulder.  Even though some appear very kind and understanding, bosses really don’t want to play the role of psychologist.  If you do break down in front of the boss, excuse yourself and do your boo-hooing in the ladies room. 

5.    Never try to change the boss.  It’s not your job.  You can (and should) ask for what you need to be effective (more time together, more feedback, etc.) but whether or not you get it is entirely up to the boss.

6.    Distinguish your boss from your parents, husband or other meaningful people in your life.  Many times women react to the boss as they might to a parent because the boss is an authority figure of sorts.  This can result in you misinterpreting the boss’s behavior or comments. 

7.    See your boss as a human being, not a one-dimensional entity.  The boss is bound to make mistakes, let you down, and have his or her own problems too.  Don’t put bosses on a pedestal — they’ll always tumble off.  Be as forgiving as you would want the boss to be with you.

8.    Deliver more than you promise.  Make certain you meet or beat deadlines, submit work free from errors, and go the extra mile to interpret data, not just report it.

9.    Avoid being a “high maintenance” employee.  Too many complaints, too many challenges, or being too needy will put you in this category.  As one CEO said, “I like it when people push once and push twice.  Three times is too many.”

10. If  you’ve done all the things described above and you still don’t trust your boss, if the boss is making your life miserable, or if it’s clear your boss doesn’t trust you, you have only three options: wait the boss out until a new one comes in; transfer to another department within your company; quit.  It’s that simple. 

TAGS: adding value, bosses, managing up, managing your career, surviving downsizing

Yesterday, I was the morning speaker for the Pennsylvania Bar Association Commission on Women in the Profession.  The conference theme was “Women and Politics” so my talk focused on how women can increase their political capital by negotiating more effectively, whether they are running for public office or not.  Could the timing have been any more interesting given that news that Hillary Clinton has decided to suspend her campaign broke just last night? Yes, there I was in Pennsylvania, a state that had meant so much to the Clinton candidacy, speaking to a group of women lawyers but I must admit I was feeling very depressed about the outcome of the Clinton campaign. 

Then Gerry Ferraro made me feel better.  (more…)

TAGS: Geraldine A. Ferraro, Hillary, Hillary Clinton, media bias, Politics, Women In the Professions, women role models

As usual, over the weekend, I had the chance to catch up on some reading - the April 21 issue of New York Magazine was one of the things I read. Amanda Fortini’s article, The Feminist Reawakening, published before the Pennsylvania primary, makes the point that the media treatment of Hillary Clinton not only reminds some women that we still have a long way to come but has had the unintended benefit of making other (younger) women aware of just how thin that pink line really is.

However things turn out for Senator Clinton’s candidacy, this is a good thing. 

TAGS: Feminism, Hillary Clinton, Political skills, Politics, politics at work, power, women leaders, women's equality

Yesterday, Thin Pink Line blogger Simone said she struggles with the balance between being a team player and taking on so much extra work that it undermines her.  She also wondered if playing sports should be a prerequisite for women going into business.  I recently read an article that said most girls who start off playing sports at a young age drop out by the time they’re teenagers.  So in some ways we never really get all the lessons we need to learn about playing to win.  Also, just this morning, I read that the female brain is wired to avoid conflict, so when we do play sports and inevitable conflicts arise we’re more likely to drop out than boys/men.

Here are a few tips for how to be a team player without being a door mat:

1. If you’re going to volunteer to take on extra work to show you’re a team player, make sure you let people KNOW you’re going out of your way.  Don’t make it look seamless. Say something like, “I’m willing to take this on for the sake of the team” or “It’s going to involve more overtime than I want but if it means the team succeeds I’m happy to do it.”

2.  Aim for high profile extra work.  Sure, we all have to do grunt work now and then for which we get no credit, but balance that out by taking on extra assignments that put you in front of executive management or clients.  Extra work of this nature provides you with an important showcase for your talents. 

3.  If you know you’ve been a team player who has taken on extra work and it’s now someone else’s turn, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “Given that I’ve worked the past few nights on the XYZ project, I believe it’s someone else’s turn to show their team commitment.  I’m happy to take my turn again when it comes around to me once more.” 

TAGS: Being a team player, high profile assignments, women in sports, women volunteering

Say the word “sales” and most of us think about saving money at our favorite shops.  But have you considered a career in sales? Not only is there good money to be made in certain sales jobs but women are great at selling when they get over the idea they have to be pushy or aggressive.  Pharmaceutical sales is a great way for nurses to up their incomes by selling drugs to doctors, hospitals, etc.  A number of years ago car dealers realized more and more women are purchasing cars on their own and started hiring more female salespeople. 

When it comes to reading people, women have the advantage hands down.  The problem is we do it so unconsciously that we often don’t use the skill to our advantage.  We’re also good a building relationships but don’t like to mix money and relationships.  And then of course there are those women who think it’s somehow unfeminine to want to “get rich.”  To you I say, build a bridge and get over it.  Here are just a few tips for how you can capitalize on your unique gifts in the world of work:

1. Know your product inside and out.  Unlike men, women are all too willing to say “I don’t know” in response to a question.  Honesty is always the best policy, but when you have to admit you don’t have an answer it doesn’t instill confidence in the buyer.  Get around this by learning the technical specifications, competitive advantage, and other data related to your product.  Even being able to say, “85% of our business comes from repeat satisfied customers” makes you sound like the expert.
2. Hone your verbal communication skills.  Women often make communication mistakes such as speaking too quietly, using filler-words like um, uh, and ah, and using too many words when fewer would do.  May women report Toastmasters International (www.toastmasters.org) has helped them to communicate with more confidence. 
3. Put words to your observations.  For example, “I can see that he has a concern about the price.  Let me put that out there and see if we can work around it.” 
4. Set financial targets and aggressively pursue them.  Put aside any thought that the intent to live a rich life (having all the money you need to live your life the way you want free from concerns about money) is in any way unfeminine.  Anyone  willing to work hard and earn it is entitled to life’s riches. 

TAGS: careers in sales, pharmaceutical sales, sales jobs

But you’ve got to say “no” sometimes and accept that the other person isn’t going to be happy.  I had to do it twice last week — and I did not enjoy it.  Nonetheless, I realized that my interests would not be met if I said yes.

One of the ways women can get in our own way is to try to make others happy at our own expense. Way too often we are so focused on building relationships with others that we forget that we too should expect — and get — consideration. (more…)

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, communication, Communication Skills, negotiation skills, Political skills, Risk-taking, ways to work healthy, women, women and power, Women at Work, Women In the Professions, women leaders

Last week I had the great pleasure of meeting Liz Cornish, a consultant to major corporations around the globe and author of a wonderful book that I highly recommend:  Hit the Ground Running - A Woman’s Guide to Success for the First 100 Days on the Job.  It’s a practical and immediately applicable book that’s well worth the read and the $13.60 purchase price from Amazon.  If you’re transitioning into a new position you’ll find it useful even if you’re not assuming a formal leadership role. 

Here are just four of the great tips Liz offers:

1.  Recognize the opportunity to negotiate.

2.  Don’t let naysayers distract you from your focus.

3.  Tame your inner critic.  If you take a hit don’t take it personally.  Dust yourself off and get back into the game.

4.  Maintain your sense of humor.

And here are a few more coaching tips from me for how to transition smoothly and effectively:

5.  Whether you’re making a move to another department, to another role within the same department, or going to an entirely different company, develop a transition plan.

6.  Keep in mind that what worked for you in the past won’t necessarily continue to work for you in your new assignment/role.

7.  Take advantage of the “honeymoon” period (just about 100 days) to learn as much as you can about the company, its products, your boss’s agenda, clients, customers, and people with whom you work.  In most instances, no one expects you to be the expert during this period so don’t even try. 

8.  Don’t underestimate the critical importance of building 360 degree relationships right off the bat.  You’re going to need them. 

TAGS: job transitions, Liz Cornish, new leader, new to the job

I moderated a panel this morning sponsored by RR Donnelley’s Women In Law Empowerment Forum; the topic was “Mastering Negotiation Skills: The Art of Achieving Career Success”.  Of course, Linda Babcock’s article, “Women, Repeat This: Don’t Ask, Don’t Get”, which appeared in the Business Section of Sunday’s New York Times came up.

People focused exclusively on the first part of the piece - Babcock’s findings that women don’t ask for what they want as often as do men.  

Nobody seemed to remember that Babcock also reported that her more recent research (with Hannah Bowles and Lei Lai) showed that when women do ask, they often get a “chillier reaction - from men and from women”. 

Why is it that nobody remembered the second part of the article? Perhaps it is that we read selectively?  Or is it that telling women to “just ask” is easier than tackling the systemic issues in the legal profession and, more broadly, in business?

The war for talent and the alarming rate of attrition among women are two good reasons that organizations should be doing more than just telling women to ask.  Don’t kid yourself - it’s just not that simple.

A friend sent me an article, Why Are So Many Women Depressed, by Dennis Prager.  She wanted to know what I thought of it.  My first thought was why would anyone with half a brain put his name to this absurd nonsense.  The net-net of the piece is that feminism unrealistically raised the expectations of women and failed to deliver.  Hence, feminism is at the core of a high incidence of depression among women.  Prager then has the audacity to claim, “ For most women — of course, not all — careers are not nearly as fulfilling as are a good marriage and family.”  Dennis… from where did you pull these numbers? Or, to paraphrase Jerry Maquire, “Show me the study.”  Psychologist Anna Freud had it right when she said, “It’s the good, capable, conscientious woman who is more likely to be depressed than her counterparts.” Maybe if we lived in a society where women weren’t forced to choose between a career and family they wouldn’t be so depressed.  Maybe if the full range of a woman’s capabilities were acknowledged and utilized without her having to dumb down so as not to offend male bosses, colleagues, brothers, or husbands women wouldn’t be so depressed.  And maybe — just maybe — if people like Dennis Prager spent less time focusing on what’s wrong with women and more time focused on what’s right with them despite the choices they make, women wouldn’t be so depressed.  Now you know what I think about the article.  What do YOU think? 

TAGS: Dennis Prager, Feminism, women and careers, Women and Depression, women and families