I’m so excited – the nonprofit status for our organization, Bloom Again, was approved today.  This was an idea I came up with when I was recovering from breast cancer.  I realized how fortunate I was to have the luxury of being able to recuperate free from concerns about work and money.  I wanted all women who need a hand in their time of need to feel that same sense of relief. 

Bloom Again is designed to allow artisans to donate their work and have it purchased by people who want to help women and girls in transition.  In other words, we can all help women to bloom again.  My own work and that of Kathleen Kelley Reardon is on the site and I invite you to visit us at www.bloomagain.org.  Carol Frohlinger is on the Board of Directors. 

If you have friends who don’t need one more THING and you’d like to make a donation in their name for a special occasion , we’ll send them a card letting them know you made a contribution to honor them.  And if you’re an artist with work you’d like to donate please contact me through the Bloom Again website.  You can make more than a living — you can make a difference! 

TAGS: Bloom Again, cancer, contributions to women, donations, women helping women

“Sex and the City” made its debut last week (no doubt you heard about it!) but “what’s your point, honey? ” also opened.  Yes, the crowd admittedly was smaller but no less enthusiastic.

The independent film, written, directed and produced byAmy Sewell and Susan Toffler is insightful, powerful and funny.  It tells the stories of seven young women who were selected by CosmoGirl magazine as possible candidates for the White House in 2024 - the contest was designed to create more interest in politics among young women.  These young women are diverse and engaging; they are candid about their personal lives and professional aspirations and I don’t think you can watch the movie without liking each and every one of them. 

Adding to the movie’s charm are the hard hitting “documentary” style questions posed by three younger girls, for example, “Why don’t we have a woman in the White House?” and, “Would you vote for a qualified woman?”

Not surprisingly, Sewell and Toffler weren’t able to secure big studio money to back the film - F-word movies (”feminist” that is) don’t do well, Sewell was told.. So their plan is to distribute the film via DVD (available via their website) and encourage people to invite guests to watch with them. 

As far as I’m concerned, either before or after your girls’ field trip to see “Sex and the City”, stay home with your friends to watch the feel good movie of the year.  The shoes won’t be as fashionista but the ideas will definitely get you talking!

TAGS: Cultural diversity, dealing with family expectations, look and sound of leadership, Political debates, Politics, Raising Girls, Self-trust, women, women role models

The Pink May/June issue includes the results of a poll the magazine did of more than 2500 women who attended a series of conferences in six cities during 2007. Among the findings is that 98% of those polled believed that they have a responsibility to help other women.

So, if you too feel a responsibility to make the workplace a better place for other women, don’t just think about it, take action.

• If your company has a formal mentoring program, consider participating in it. If it doesn’t, think about starting one. Or at least mentor another woman on an informal basis.
• If your company has a women’s affinity group, join it. Volunteer to help in whatever capacity you can.
• If you lead people, be sure you offer the same opportunities to the women on your team as you do to the men. Don’t be blindsided by the gender schemas that affect both men and women.

What other suggestions do you have? What kinds of help have you given to other woman? Let’s make each other’s day!

TAGS: competition, Cultural diversity, look and sound of leadership, servant leadership, Volunteering at work, Women at Work, Women In the Professions, women leaders, women not trusting women, women role models, women working for women

As usual, over the weekend, I had the chance to catch up on some reading - the April 21 issue of New York Magazine was one of the things I read. Amanda Fortini’s article, The Feminist Reawakening, published before the Pennsylvania primary, makes the point that the media treatment of Hillary Clinton not only reminds some women that we still have a long way to come but has had the unintended benefit of making other (younger) women aware of just how thin that pink line really is.

However things turn out for Senator Clinton’s candidacy, this is a good thing. 

TAGS: Feminism, Hillary Clinton, Political skills, Politics, politics at work, power, women leaders, women's equality

As I listened to Barack Omaba denounce Jeremiah Wright last week, I was reminded of how difficult it is to walk away from a relationship that was once good and is now bad.

Thankfully, when most of us face the decision about cutting someone loose, we have the luxury to grapple privately with the “when” and “how” to do it yet the “if” is still a struggle.  How do you know when a relationship has become toxic? Is there an acid test? I think there is - when the other person doesn’t consider your interests, only her own, even when you have made it clear that your needs are not being met. 

Consider these situations: (more…)

TAGS: career derailments, communication, gaining confidence, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate, politics at work, relationship chips, self-help, Self-trust

Tonight I received an e-mail from my dear friend Itje Suryono from Jakarta, Indonesia.  I had not heard from her in a while and was worried.  I wrote to several mutual friends in Jakarta inquiring into her well-being and finally she responded.  We started off as client/consultant and soon realized we were kindred spirits.  I’ve known Itje for over 20 years and have learned so much from her.  Most of all I’ve learned that around the world we women are so much more similar than we are different. In tonight’s e-mail she apologized for not writing but that she “was getting old.”  How many of us feel the exact same way?  There is so much to do and so little time that we just get tuckered out.  Over the years I learned from Itje that we may worship different entities and speak different languages but at the heart of it all we want the best for our families, wish we had more time for our friends, and suffer the eccentricities of our bosses and husbands.  I wish more women within other countries understood this notion.  We look different, but feel the same.  We share the same concerns.  We struggle with the same challenges.  You don’t have to go half way around the world to figure this out.  I invite our international visitors to talk about their challenges so that we may all learn from — and help one another — to be even better than we already are.

TAGS: global issues, international women's issues, Jakarta, Women In the Professions, women's challenges

Nearly everywhere I speak a woman in the audience asks why women are so difficult to work with/for or why we stab each other in the back.  I always respond that this has never been my experience (my colleagues on The Thin Pink Line and I hope we are testament to the fact that women can be and are each other’s greatest supporters).  Sure there are women who are difficult to be around in any capacity, but then there are just as many men I’d put in that category.  We just expect more from another woman and when she behaves badly toward us it creates a disappointing dissonance between our expectation and reality. 

Then a woman I met at last week’s Raleigh-Durham Chamber of Commerce Women’s Conference forwarded me an article entitled “We Scream.  We Swoon.  How Dumb Can We Get?” by Charlotte Allen writing for The Washington Post.  It almost made me doubt my confidence that women really do support one another.  You’ve got to read the article because there’s no way I can do justice to Ms. Allen’s venom, sarcasm, and condescencion toward women.  When I read it the first time I swore the author was an angry man using a feminine pen name.  I still hope that’s the case.  If not, it makes me wonder if Ms. Allen is projecting onto all women feelings she has about her mother (or perhaps Irish Grandmother) that would be best left for a therapy session.  Her statistics about women, men and cognitive ability are patently false.  And her suggestion that left to our own devices we would gravitate toward home and hearth is ridiculous.  Which just goes to show you can’t believe everything you read.

Next time you think a woman is your worst enemy or you can’t trust women, think again.  The playing field is already artificially narrowed for women.  Each time one of our own plays at the edge she widens the field for all of us — whether we personally like her or not and whether we personally want more space on the field or not.  We should be thanking Hillary Clinton for her efforts on our behalf.  We should put Meg Whitman’s picture on the dollar bill.  We should have a national holiday to celebrate Rosa Parks’,  Wilma Mankiller’s, Margaret Sanger’s and Harriet Tubman’s birthdays.  Are there some women jerks out there? Sure.  Ignore them and you’ll find many more women who can be your allies and advocates.

TAGS: Charlotte Allen, Hillary Clinton, Raleigh-Durham Chamber of Commerce, Washington Post, women not trusting women, women working for women

Even if it means you have to come in early or stay late, offer to help colleagues who are swamped. 

An author’s blog, www.basilandspice.com asked me to write a posting related to women and leadership.  Of course I couldn’t resist the opportunity to get the word out that I believe we live in a time when women’s leadership is not just needed, it’s essential if we want to save the world from war, famine, random acts of violence, corporate greed, etc.  But an interesting thing happened as I was writing it.  I found myself becoming angrier and angrier at just how hard it really is to get women’s voices to the leadership table.  Polls conducted last year indicated that America was more ready for an African American president than a woman.  If you take a look at the polls today it seems they were right.  Only 33% of men voted for Hillary in the primaries.  Then I thought about the Supreme Court, founded in 1790.  That’s 218 years and we can’t do better than one woman and one person of color on a court that decides which laws apply to a mult-cultural society? I won’t even quote the numbers of women on corporate boards and in CEO positions — we all know how lousy those figures are.  What’s a woman to do?  She’s to make her voice heard by courageously challenging the status quo.  If we aren’t part of the solution, we’re part of the problem.  I’m not suggesting that we make better leaders than men, but I do know we make different leaders.  For too long we’ve bought into the nonsense that what makes us different makes us less effectual in leadership roles.  Oh yeah?  Tell that to Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Meg Whitman, Indira Gandhi, Wilma Mankiller, and Rosa Parks.  Just remember this — every time you back down because someone suggests you’re being too emotional, too aggressive, not aggressive enough, or not qualified because you’re a woman you collude with a system that wants to maintain status quo (that’s what a system is — something that perpetuates itself).  The only possible reason why people would want to hold you back or keep you quiet is because you’re right — and baby, that means you’re powerful.  It’s like I told the guy on line behind me in Trader Joe’s the other day who was making nasty remarks about my Hillary for President cap (it was a bad hair day):  I don’t care if Hillary or Obama wins the election — anyone but another old white man. 

TAGS: Hillary Clinton, Supreme Court, women and power, women leaders

Today I spent 30 minutes on a planning phone call with 3 senior women who’ll serve as panelists at a session about negotiation I’m conducting next month.  The session is for other women in their company; these folks have been invited to share their experiences. 

I was struck by how important it was to these women to talk about things that would be helpful to the audience and how seriously they took their responsibility.  I was equally impressed at how supportive they were of one another.  As a result, I’m pretty confident that the group we’ll be working with will find the panel discussion helpful.

On a personal note, I find myself looking forward to learning more about these women and their company because too often I don’t get that same sense of collaboration among women who have risen through the ranks in Corporate America.  Do you think that is because way too often they were the only women in the room?  In any case, when it happens, it’s magic.

TAGS: panels, support, Women at Work