The Authors


Subscribe by email
Subscribe via RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Search


top tags
  • Building workplace relationships Communication Skills Hillary Clinton Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate Risk-taking Self-trust Women In the Professions Women and Money Women at Work business communication career change career derailment career goals communication disconnects gaining confidence negotiating pay negotiation skills women leaders women role models

  • Categories
    Archives
    Pages

     

    July 21, 2008

    The Gender Agenda Interview

    Filed in: Negotiation, Women In the Professions by Carol Frohlinger, JD @ 7:17 am

    It was a treat to be asked for an interview by Cleo Thompson who writes the Gender Agenda for PricewaterhouseCoopers.  Cleo asks great questions and gave me the opportunity to think out loud about the critical importance of negotiation skills. 

    TAGS: , ,


    July 17, 2008

    De-icing “The Frozen Middle”

    Filed in: Life and Work, Negotiation by Carol Frohlinger, JD @ 1:49 pm

    Yesterday I attended a session called “Flexing the Workplace: New Ways to Get Work Done and Build Careers” spearheaded by Deborah Epstein Henry of Flex-time Lawyers and sponsored by the National Association of Women Lawyers

    As you can probably guess from the title, the speakers discussed both research and recommendations for the ways that law firms can adapt and change to meet the demands of both men and women who don’t want to do things in the same way that they’ve always been done.

    The issues are complicated.  And to make it even more challenging, law firms are culturally steeped in precedent and tradition so that change can be very painful. Patricia Gillette, co-founder of the Opt In Project and a wonderful speaker, quoted Carly Fiorina: “Change is like heaven; everyone wants to go there but nobody wants to die.”  So policies that allow for flexible work schedules don’t come easy.

    But even if you work in a company that has managed to establish such policies, they don’t help unless you can actually use them without damaging your career.  The senior leadership in your firm has undoubtedly supported these policies because they make smart business sense.  But those below in the pecking order may not have the “big picture” in mind - these “frozen middle” people can make actually using flexible work policies difficult if not impossible.

    That’s where negotiation comes in - it’s the way you can melt the ice. Three tips:

    1. Be prepared
      The conversation you will have with your manager should help him or her to wholeheartedly support your decision. You have to be very clear about how you will continue to meet business objectives under the new arrangement.
    2. Be aware
      Think about how your decision will affect your colleagues.  Will anyone be disaffected?  If so, how can you proactively manage the situation before resentment starts to fester?
    3. Be firm
      While an occasional emergency may require that you respond immediately, think about how you can manage things so that the flexible schedule that you have designed doesn’t get eroded.

    TAGS: , , , , , , , , ,


    April 21, 2008

    It’s not easy…

    Filed in: Communication Skills, Leadership, Negotiation, Politics, Women In the Professions by Carol Frohlinger, JD @ 7:47 am

    But you’ve got to say “no” sometimes and accept that the other person isn’t going to be happy.  I had to do it twice last week — and I did not enjoy it.  Nonetheless, I realized that my interests would not be met if I said yes.

    One of the ways women can get in our own way is to try to make others happy at our own expense. Way too often we are so focused on building relationships with others that we forget that we too should expect — and get — consideration. (more…)

    TAGS: , , , , , , , , , , ,


    April 14, 2008

    Inspiration for Negotiation Success

    Filed in: Negotiation by Carol Frohlinger, JD @ 7:41 am

    Recently, I gave a talk at the Atlanta Women’s Network Women Up 2008 event.  It was a wonderful experience for me to work with people who worked so well with one another.   

    They asked me to provide 3 key words about negotiation that would coordinate with their principles (in bold):

     ”I am able.”

    We’ve been taught that there are rules for business and that these rules are absolute:  always ~ never. Applying artificial rules makes a difficult situation even more stressful.

    We are able to succeed at negotiation by retaining authenticity.  Authenticity yields confidence. (more…)

    TAGS: , , , , ,


    March 31, 2008

    Hardball for Bullies

    Filed in: Politics, The Thin Pink Line Examples by Carol Frohlinger, JD @ 8:52 am

    Have you been bullied at work?  If so, you’re not alone. 

    Tara Parker-Pope reported in her NY Times column last week that 37% of Americans have been bullied on the job.   Her blog, Well, offered a quiz to help you figure out whether you were a victim of bullying. 

    It was fairly obvious that you have been bullied if you answer “yes” to some of the questions,  for example, “Been yelled at or shouted at in a hostile manner?” Others were more subtle, “Been given little or no feedback about your performance?”

    As I read the comments, it became clear that many people ignore bullies because they don’t know how to respond to them.  Or at least what to say out loud…But if you don’t deal with them,  of course, they don’t stop - they get worse.  

    Kathleen offered some terrific advice the other day about how to play hardball including some “comebacks” from her books, The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics

    Here are some other ideas:

    1. Enlist allies.  Find others who have also been bullied by the same person and collaborate to plan a strategy about how to respond.  It’s always easier to confront a bully when you have support.
    2. Figure out what leverage you may have - is there any action that you can take that will scare the bully into behaving better?  For example,  if he/she is stupid enough to leave an email trail, save the emails (if you think that nobody is that stupid, consider Eliot Spitzer).  Then you can let him/her know that you have documentation that puts him/her/the company at risk.  Note well: don’t back a bully into a corner unless you have proof and are willing to use it.
    3. If you don’t think you can prove the bullying behavior and are convinced that the bully is there to stay, plan your exit strategy.  Don’t wait.  If you do, you will be too exhausted and demoralized to put your best foot forward for another position.

    TAGS: , , , , ,


    February 21, 2008

    The Long History of The Thin Pink Line

    Filed in: Politics, The Thin Pink Line Examples by Carol Frohlinger, JD @ 9:23 am

     istock_000002197457xsmall.jpgElizabeth Keathley explained yesterday in a piece she wrote for Women’s ENews that the challenge women face with regard to being “womanly” and yet still competent has affected Hillary Clinton’s campaign.  And, in case you don’t believe it,  Tuesday’s  Wall Street Journal ’s  (paid site) front page article THE DECIDERS: White Men Hold Key for Democrats  detailed depressing evidence of both gender and racial bias.

    So, yes, it’s a puzzle.   The good news is that the attention this issue is getting this year will help women to understand that it’s not their just their imagination they struggle with getting the respect they deserve at work (for example, have you ever suggested an idea at a meeting that was ignored until it was brought up again by a male colleague?)  So, what to do?

    Change perceptions, one person at  time.  Think about the people with whom you are interacting.  What do you know (or can you learn)  about what keeps them up at night? Most people are not consciously biased; they (both men and women)  are simply looking out for their own best interests.  To influence them,  you must help them to realize that they will be better off with you in a leadership role than not.

    TAGS: , , , , , ,


    February 20, 2008

    Coaching Tip of the Day for Wednesday 2/20

    Filed in: Coaching Tip of the Day by Dr. Lois Frankel @ 3:32 am

    Smile when you walk by people in the hallway.  Make “friendly” part of your personal brand. 

    TAGS: ,


    February 12, 2008

    Coaching Tip of the Day for Tuesday 2/12

    Filed in: Coaching Tip of the Day by Dr. Lois Frankel @ 3:19 am

    Have one five minute “doorway conversation” everyday. 

    TAGS:


    Home 
    The Authors
    Becoming a Skilled Negotiator
    The Thin Pink Line Store

    Links


     

    This website and its contents ©2008 TheThinPinkLine.com - RSS - Site design by Company of H