Yesterday I attended a session called “Flexing the Workplace: New Ways to Get Work Done and Build Careers” spearheaded by Deborah Epstein Henry of Flex-time Lawyers and sponsored by the National Association of Women Lawyers.
As you can probably guess from the title, the speakers discussed both research and recommendations for the ways that law firms can adapt and change to meet the demands of both men and women who don’t want to do things in the same way that they’ve always been done.
The issues are complicated. And to make it even more challenging, law firms are culturally steeped in precedent and tradition so that change can be very painful. Patricia Gillette, co-founder of the Opt In Project and a wonderful speaker, quoted Carly Fiorina: “Change is like heaven; everyone wants to go there but nobody wants to die.” So policies that allow for flexible work schedules don’t come easy.
But even if you work in a company that has managed to establish such policies, they don’t help unless you can actually use them without damaging your career. The senior leadership in your firm has undoubtedly supported these policies because they make smart business sense. But those below in the pecking order may not have the “big picture” in mind - these “frozen middle” people can make actually using flexible work policies difficult if not impossible.
That’s where negotiation comes in - it’s the way you can melt the ice. Three tips:
- Be prepared.
The conversation you will have with your manager should help him or her to wholeheartedly support your decision. You have to be very clear about how you will continue to meet business objectives under the new arrangement.
- Be aware.
Think about how your decision will affect your colleagues. Will anyone be disaffected? If so, how can you proactively manage the situation before resentment starts to fester?
- Be firm.
While an occasional emergency may require that you respond immediately, think about how you can manage things so that the flexible schedule that you have designed doesn’t get eroded.
TAGS: Building workplace relationships, career derailment, Fairness at work, flexibility, Negotiation, negotiation skills, The National Association of Women Lawyers, The Opt In Project, Women In the Professions, work life balance
Maureen Dowd’s NY Times column on Sunday veered away from her usual wickedly withering political commentary - instead, she interviewed Father Pat O’Connor, a 79 year old Catholic priest about how to recognize a potentially problematic husband before you marry him.
It occurred to me how much of Father O’Connor’s sage advice applied to making a decision about whether to take a new job. He notes that it is important for young people to hear his thoughts before they fall seriously in love because once they fall in love, it’s too late. “Infatuation trumps judgment.” So too for job seekers - do your due diligence before you get seduced by the job title, the money or the career possibilities it might lead to - by then, you’re too emotionally invested. (more…)
TAGS: career change, career derailment, careers, Job Search, Marriage, Maureen Dowd
Have you been bullied at work? If so, you’re not alone.
Tara Parker-Pope reported in her NY Times column last week that 37% of Americans have been bullied on the job. Her blog, Well, offered a quiz to help you figure out whether you were a victim of bullying.
It was fairly obvious that you have been bullied if you answer “yes” to some of the questions, for example, “Been yelled at or shouted at in a hostile manner?” Others were more subtle, “Been given little or no feedback about your performance?”
As I read the comments, it became clear that many people ignore bullies because they don’t know how to respond to them. Or at least what to say out loud…But if you don’t deal with them, of course, they don’t stop - they get worse.
Kathleen offered some terrific advice the other day about how to play hardball including some “comebacks” from her books, The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics.
Here are some other ideas:
- Enlist allies. Find others who have also been bullied by the same person and collaborate to plan a strategy about how to respond. It’s always easier to confront a bully when you have support.
- Figure out what leverage you may have - is there any action that you can take that will scare the bully into behaving better? For example, if he/she is stupid enough to leave an email trail, save the emails (if you think that nobody is that stupid, consider Eliot Spitzer). Then you can let him/her know that you have documentation that puts him/her/the company at risk. Note well: don’t back a bully into a corner unless you have proof and are willing to use it.
- If you don’t think you can prove the bullying behavior and are convinced that the bully is there to stay, plan your exit strategy. Don’t wait. If you do, you will be too exhausted and demoralized to put your best foot forward for another position.
TAGS: Building workplace relationships, career derailment, Fairness at work, gaining confidence, health issues at work, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate
In Stop Sabotaging Your Career I define career derailment as any unexpected change in career momentum. Last week we witnessed how quickly a hard-earned career can derail with one thoughtless comment made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Harvard professor, and Barack Obama advisor, Samantha Power. You may recall that during an interview Ms. Power called Hillary Clinton a “monster.” It’s not the comment I focus on today, but the career and credibility that was damaged because of an off-the-cuff remark. And this is often how derailment happens. You spend years building your reputation and watch it go up in smoke in a moment. To avoid the same fate as Ms. Power follow my maxim: Never make a presentation that you haven’t prepared for — and every time you open your mouth it’s a presentation. In other words, think once, think twice, think three times before you speak — especially if it’s with the media. A book I recommend to clients is You Are the Message by Roger Ailes.
TAGS: Barack Obama, career derailment, Communication Skills, roger ailes, samantha power
