Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you work with turkeys”?
I’ve been hearing stories for an aspiring eaglet about one such turkey for a couple of months now. Her boss is a micromanager whose skills are limited, making it very difficult to work with her. What to do?
Some tips to keep in mind:
- She’s the boss.
She is in the power position; it’s your job to make her look good. As difficult as it may be to accept, you simply must do so while you work for her. If you think you can hide your resentment or annoyance, think again - emotions like these tend to manifest themselves making an already bad situation even worse.
- Make lemons out of lemonade.
It may be a challenge but if you try hard, you can uncover at least one thing you can learn from her. In the most extreme situations, much of what you can learn will fall into the category of “what NOT to do” but don’t give up until you find the thing(s) she does well too.
- Keep your feelings to yourself.
Resist the temptation to loudly broadcast your boss’s failings to anyone at the office who’ll listen. It’s unprofessional and it will come back to haunt you. Tell a friend instead, feel free to vent with no risk to your career.
These tips are useful while you are struggling to deal with the situation but the bigger picture question is, “Is your boss coachable?” If so, you can negotiate ways to work with her that will enable you to do your best work - and to get the credit you deserve for doing it. If not, then it’s time to change your situation.
TAGS: Being a team player, career cache, career derailments, coping skills, strategies for success
As I listened to Barack Omaba denounce Jeremiah Wright last week, I was reminded of how difficult it is to walk away from a relationship that was once good and is now bad.
Thankfully, when most of us face the decision about cutting someone loose, we have the luxury to grapple privately with the “when” and “how” to do it yet the “if” is still a struggle. How do you know when a relationship has become toxic? Is there an acid test? I think there is - when the other person doesn’t consider your interests, only her own, even when you have made it clear that your needs are not being met.
Consider these situations: (more…)
TAGS: career derailments, communication, gaining confidence, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate, politics at work, relationship chips, self-help, Self-trust
We’ve all been writing about trusting ourselves, so I’ll add my two cents. It isn’t easy, especially if you haven’t found yourself in a dark tunnel during your career and then found the light — a few times. But once you’ve had such experiences, self trust develops. You begin to see that the end of one chapter is not the end of all chapters but merely the beginning of a new one.
I’ve been reading The Nine: Inside The Secret World of The Supreme Court by Jeffrey Toobin. Toobin wrote of now Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts:
Robert’s failure to win confirmation to the D.C. circuit in 1992 turned out to be a lucky break…
For the next 8 years he had several arguments in front of the Supreme Court. He became known but did so without making enemies, creating for himself a “golden aura.”
This aura served Roberts well — as did his avoidance of partisanship. One door closed and another opened for him to ultimately become Chief Justice. Who knows the extent to which Roberts felt rejected in 1992 and how angry he may have been. Obviously, whatever he did feel did not prevent him from finding another route forward — trusting his ability and what clearly was a keen sense of politics. Like him or his politics or not, he certainly picked himself up and went on.
Not all closed doors lead to such impressive outcomes via other routes, but what happened to Roberts and most people who experience considerable success is a lesson. You have to believe in yourself. Sometimes that means believing you can learn what’s needed to start doing something new. And then going about doing so.
It’s important for all of us to know that there is never a single road to what we want to achieve. And even that what we want is not always as good as what we might ultimately get.
TAGS: career derailments, career goals, Jeffrey Toobin, John Roberts, Self-trust
