While the food at the Chinese take-out restaurant we’ve been patronizing lately isn’t all that great, their fortune cookies are terrific.  My fortune the other night:

Doing what you like is freedom.  Liking what you do is happiness.

This bit of philosophy made me think of how very important it is to periodically reflect upon how happy you are with the work you do.  Of course, we all have bad days but, overall, you should be able to say that you enjoy the work you do - that, yes, it makes you happy.

If you can’t, perhaps it is a good time to figure out why - and then to change the situation.  Sometimes, you can negotiate for things that will increase your satisfaction, for example, a more challenging assignment or more resources to get the job done.  Or, if the problem is deeper, perhaps it’s time to make a different employment decision…

The main thing to keep in mind is that your career satisfaction matters most to you - nobody else, except perhaps your mom, cares that much.  Don’t let yourself down!

TAGS: career change, career goals, dealing with family expectations, Gratefulness, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate, negotiation skills, personal brand building, personal development, ways to work healthy

I sent out a message this weekend to friends and colleagues announcing The Thin Pink Line. I expected to get some “congrats” messages but I did not expect to receive as many messages as I did cheering us on!

One client (now a friend) wrote me mentioning that a very senior woman at her organization has just “opted out” to stay home with her three young children.  While the company is known as a leader vis-à-vis supporting women, this woman, at the pinnacle of her career,  made a different choice - for now. My friend wrote, “I, on the other hand, am still barreling down the corporate freeway while trying to raise two teenagers. The raising teenagers part is way more complicated then the corporate freeway, in my opinion.”

Oh yes!

In the next paragraph, she writes of the moment she was able to pin the Eagle Scout medal on her son’s chest, culminating years of work on his part to earn Scouting’s highest honor (and undoubtedly years of driving on her part to support him).  She described it as “beating any promotion she has ever received, by far!” 

The choices women have to make - whether they involve children or not - can be very difficult.  What I have learned at this point is that there is no right answer for all of us — only a right answer for each of us.  And whatever answer is right for you, don’t apologize for it. 

TAGS: career goals, Women at Work, women leaders

Penelope Trunk advised last week that you should never answer the question, “What’s your salary range?” 

I disagree; it depends on when the question comes and who asks it. In fact, there is a lot of research that suggests “anchoring” is an effective way to begin a negotiation.

If you have already convinced the questioner that you have the skills and experience for the position, there is no harm at all in being clear about what you expect vis a vis compensation. Remember, you can’t get what you are worth if you aren’t willing to ask for it.

But you won’t know what the right range is if you haven’t done your homework.  What is the fair market value for the job?  Consider the industry, the geography and the company. 

There is a wealth of information on salaries available on the Internet (check out sites like www.thevault.com; you can learn even more through social networking sites (see www.linkedin.com, for example).

In fact, one of the best ways to assess whether the position is a good fit for you is to talk about the salary range early.  If what they are paying is too low, the job is probably not what you think it is.

TAGS: career goals, disconnects, negotiating pay

 Elizabeth Keathley explained yesterday in a piece she wrote for Women’s ENews that the challenge women face with regard to being “womanly” and yet still competent has affected Hillary Clinton’s campaign.  And, in case you don’t believe it,  Tuesday’s  Wall Street Journal ’s  (paid site) front page article THE DECIDERS: White Men Hold Key for Democrats  detailed depressing evidence of both gender and racial bias.

So, yes, it’s a puzzle.   The good news is that the attention this issue is getting this year will help women to understand that it’s not their just their imagination they struggle with getting the respect they deserve at work (for example, have you ever suggested an idea at a meeting that was ignored until it was brought up again by a male colleague?)  So, what to do?

Change perceptions, one person at  time.  Think about the people with whom you are interacting.  What do you know (or can you learn)  about what keeps them up at night? Most people are not consciously biased; they (both men and women)  are simply looking out for their own best interests.  To influence them,  you must help them to realize that they will be better off with you in a leadership role than not.

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, career goals, Hillary Clinton, personal branding, Self-trust, stereotypes, The Wall Street Journal

We’ve all been writing about trusting ourselves, so I’ll add my two cents. It isn’t easy, especially if you haven’t found yourself in a dark tunnel during your career and then found the light — a few times. But once you’ve had such experiences, self trust develops. You begin to see that the end of one chapter is not the end of all chapters but merely the beginning of a new one.

I’ve been reading The Nine: Inside The Secret World of The Supreme Court by Jeffrey Toobin. Toobin wrote of now Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts:

Robert’s failure to win confirmation to the D.C. circuit in 1992 turned out to be a lucky break…

For the next 8 years he had several arguments in front of the Supreme Court. He became known but did so without making enemies, creating for himself a “golden aura.”

This aura served Roberts well — as did his avoidance of partisanship. One door closed and another opened for him to ultimately become Chief Justice. Who knows the extent to which Roberts felt rejected in 1992 and how angry he may have been. Obviously, whatever he did feel did not prevent him from finding another route forward — trusting his ability and what clearly was a keen sense of politics. Like him or his politics or not, he certainly picked himself up and went on.

Not all closed doors lead to such impressive outcomes via other routes, but what happened to Roberts and most people who experience considerable success is a lesson. You have to believe in yourself. Sometimes that means believing you can learn what’s needed to start doing something new. And then going about doing so.

It’s important for all of us to know that there is never a single road to what we want to achieve. And even that what we want is not always as good as what we might ultimately get.

TAGS: career derailments, career goals, Jeffrey Toobin, John Roberts, Self-trust