I just wrote a comment (below) in response to Carol’s important post.  Salary inequity is a problem that can haunt you your entire career — especially if you believe others will consider you a “loose canon” if you try to rectify it.  There are few things that can’t be explored and even challenged at work if you do so in politically astute ways.  I wrote The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics to help people with that part.  If you’re petulant or constantly perturbed instead of observant and astute, it’s difficult to change anything.  Carol is absolutely right about finding ways to learn where your salary stands and raises too.  You have to know your worth and assert it.  Otherwise other people take advantage — one of those human nature things!

TAGS: Communication Skills, Pay Disparity, Political skills, salary

Last week I worked with a client who will be on vacation this week. She’ll be at the beach with her family — and her Blackberry.  We talked a little bit about her plans to manage the amount of work she does while on vacation.  Her habit is to check e-mail once in the morning and then again late afternoon.  She does not take her Blackberry out with her during the day so she is not tempted to check it more often.

What’s your vacation workload management strategy?  I’m of the opinion that there is no right answer, only one that is right for you. Some people have no problem escaping the grip of email - if you are one of them this post is not for you!

Some ideas for those who do struggle: (more…)

TAGS: business communication, Communication Skills, coping skills, simplifying

We at the Thin Pink Line get feedback that readers like the combination of “news you can use” and commentary on current events from women’s perspectives.  You too can get positive feedback about your communications if you follow the same guidelines Carol, Kathleen, Liz, and I use:  balance the big picture and the details.  We know that some people like ideas, concepts and theory while others like practical tools and tips, so we mix it up.  Here are 3 easy tips for how you can do the same for more powerful communications in your work setting:

1.  Prepare for every presentation you make — and remember that every time you open your mouth or prepare a written communique it’s a presentation.  Think about the two or three most important things you want people to take away and keep your message focused on just those.  You’ve heard me say it before: short sounds confident. 

2.  Do your homework.  My 7th grade science teacher, Hans Selye, used to tell us, “Chance favors the prepared mind.”  I never forgot that (and that was quite a while back!).  Regularly reading professional journals, newspapers, and magazines (my favorite is The Week) keeps your mind agile and open to new ideas.  It also helps make for sparkling party conversation.

3.  Brainstorm ideas with people who think differently than you.  If you know you’re an “idea person” who has difficulty communicating the tangible benefits of your ideas, talk to someone who’s good at it and ask for help in synthesizing your concepts for crisp communication.  Conversely, if you tend to get bogged down in the weeds, look to those who are always coming up with new ways of approaching old problems for help in assessing the bigger picture. 

Make yours a great week-end. 

TAGS: business communication, Communication Skills, influence with impact

But you’ve got to say “no” sometimes and accept that the other person isn’t going to be happy.  I had to do it twice last week — and I did not enjoy it.  Nonetheless, I realized that my interests would not be met if I said yes.

One of the ways women can get in our own way is to try to make others happy at our own expense. Way too often we are so focused on building relationships with others that we forget that we too should expect — and get — consideration. (more…)

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, communication, Communication Skills, negotiation skills, Political skills, Risk-taking, ways to work healthy, women, women and power, Women at Work, Women In the Professions, women leaders

A prospective client called inquiring about hiring a coach.  Although I don’t usually field these calls no one else was available to speak with the woman so I did.  It was a painful experience — for me at least and maybe even for her.  She was a senior executive but her communication was filled with starts and stops, ers and uhs, and she was so unfocused it was difficult to glean exactly what she wanted.  When I couldn’t stand it any longer I asked if she realized this was how she communicated and suggested it made her appear as if she were second guessing herself.  She said it wasn’t second guessing, it was that she didn’t want to come across as too strong.  Ahhhhh, now I got it.  Women do it all the time to avoid being called that “b” word.  She was “filtering” her words and rather than help her, it diminished her credibility.  Here are some of the tips I gave her:

1.  Replace the filter with “contrasting.” If you’re worried about sounding too aggressive, then contrast what you don’t want with what you do want.  For example,   “I don’t want you to think that I’m not open to ideas other than my own, because I am.  I do feel strongly, however, that we need to begin moving in another direction before we lose more market share.”

2.  Remember: short sounds confident.  Women add words to their messages because they unconsciously know that more words always soften the message.  Mentally prepare your communications using the fewest words possible.  If you’re not sure you made yourself clear, ask, “Did I answer your question?” 

3.  Distinguish a polished comment from thinking out loud.  Unless you cue me otherwise, I think you’re giving me your best shot when you answer my questions.  If you’re just thinking out loud, say so, “Let me think out loud for a minute here.”  This way listeners are expecting a bit of verbal meandering. 

Visit my coaching web site for a reading list on how to communicate impact… and while you’re there check out a few of the other titles suggested by our team of seasoned coaches.   

TAGS: Communication Skills, Corporate Coaching International, mental filters, reading list, speak with impact

In Stop Sabotaging Your Career I define career derailment as any unexpected change in career momentum.  Last week we witnessed how quickly a hard-earned career can derail with one thoughtless comment made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Harvard professor, and Barack Obama advisor, Samantha Power.  You may recall that during an interview Ms. Power called Hillary Clinton a “monster.”  It’s not the comment I focus on today, but the career and credibility that was damaged because of an off-the-cuff remark.  And this is often how derailment happens.  You spend years building your reputation and watch it go up in smoke in a moment.  To avoid the same fate as Ms. Power follow my maxim:  Never make a presentation that you haven’t prepared for — and every time you open your mouth it’s a presentation.  In other words, think once, think twice, think three times before you speak — especially if it’s with the media.  A book I recommend to clients is You Are the Message by Roger Ailes.   

TAGS: Barack Obama, career derailment, Communication Skills, roger ailes, samantha power