While the food at the Chinese take-out restaurant we’ve been patronizing lately isn’t all that great, their fortune cookies are terrific.  My fortune the other night:

Doing what you like is freedom.  Liking what you do is happiness.

This bit of philosophy made me think of how very important it is to periodically reflect upon how happy you are with the work you do.  Of course, we all have bad days but, overall, you should be able to say that you enjoy the work you do - that, yes, it makes you happy.

If you can’t, perhaps it is a good time to figure out why - and then to change the situation.  Sometimes, you can negotiate for things that will increase your satisfaction, for example, a more challenging assignment or more resources to get the job done.  Or, if the problem is deeper, perhaps it’s time to make a different employment decision…

The main thing to keep in mind is that your career satisfaction matters most to you - nobody else, except perhaps your mom, cares that much.  Don’t let yourself down!

TAGS: career change, career goals, dealing with family expectations, Gratefulness, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate, negotiation skills, personal brand building, personal development, ways to work healthy

“Sex and the City” made its debut last week (no doubt you heard about it!) but “what’s your point, honey? ” also opened.  Yes, the crowd admittedly was smaller but no less enthusiastic.

The independent film, written, directed and produced byAmy Sewell and Susan Toffler is insightful, powerful and funny.  It tells the stories of seven young women who were selected by CosmoGirl magazine as possible candidates for the White House in 2024 - the contest was designed to create more interest in politics among young women.  These young women are diverse and engaging; they are candid about their personal lives and professional aspirations and I don’t think you can watch the movie without liking each and every one of them. 

Adding to the movie’s charm are the hard hitting “documentary” style questions posed by three younger girls, for example, “Why don’t we have a woman in the White House?” and, “Would you vote for a qualified woman?”

Not surprisingly, Sewell and Toffler weren’t able to secure big studio money to back the film - F-word movies (”feminist” that is) don’t do well, Sewell was told.. So their plan is to distribute the film via DVD (available via their website) and encourage people to invite guests to watch with them. 

As far as I’m concerned, either before or after your girls’ field trip to see “Sex and the City”, stay home with your friends to watch the feel good movie of the year.  The shoes won’t be as fashionista but the ideas will definitely get you talking!

TAGS: Cultural diversity, dealing with family expectations, look and sound of leadership, Political debates, Politics, Raising Girls, Self-trust, women, women role models

As women, most of us have experienced limitations placed on us by family, friends, employers and a society that still does not really see us as equal to men.  This week I made a presentation to the Iranian Jewish Women Organization/Women of Vision — and I think I learned more from them than they learned from me.  If you think it’s tough being a professional woman, try being an Iranian Jewish professional woman!  Most of the women in the audience were first generation Americans, many having come to the U.S. from Iran within the past two decades.  Their parents, siblings, husbands and friends are firmly entrenched in both the Jewish religion and culture and the Iranian culture.  Many wanted to know how they can achieve their professional goals, yet maintain their religious and cultural identities within their families — families who may not support their professional aspirations.

Whether you’re Iranian Jewish, Latina, or a member of any other nationality or culture that imposes limitations on you because you’re a women, these are a few tips to help you bridge the culture gap:

1. Honor your history.  Make it clear to your family and community that your desire to excel in the world of work is not incompatible with your cultural pride.  Older family members may fear you’re going to lose your rich history.  Head this kind of thinking off at the pass by expressing and showing pride for your unique culture.  Make time to participate in events that affirm your commitment. 
2. Ask for what you need.  Sometimes family members say they want to support your efforts, but act in ways that are not so supportive.  When this happens don’t criticize or point out the duality of the message, but rather be clear about what you do need.  For example, “I’m so glad you want to support my career.  Let me tell you what would be most helpful to me.” Keep it positive and use lots of “I” messages (I need, I would like, I would appreciate, etc.). 
3. Use humor to defuse tension.  If every Sunday you have dinner with your family and every Sunday you’re asked when you’re going to get married or when you’re going to have a baby, practice a witty (but respectful) reply such as, “I’ll tell you what.  When that’s going to happen you’ll be the first to know.”  In other words, lighten up.
4. Don’t try to change attitudes.  That’s a little like trying to teach a pig to sing.  It frustrates you and annoys the pig.  Instead, acknowledge and be respectful of how others see the world and ask for that same respect in return. 
5. Surround yourself with like-minded people.  One of the most wonderful things about the Iranian Jewish Women Organization is the support members give to one another.  Your mother may never accept that  it’s important for you to be a career-woman before you become a wife, but there are other women just like you out there who will support you as you pursue your goals.  Find them.  Spend time with them.  Support them too. 

To learn more about the Iranian Jewish Women Organization visit ijwo.org.

TAGS: assimilating, bridging cultures, Cultural diversity, dealing with family expectations, Iranian Jewish Women