I have such mixed feelings about this true story. Two college women’s softball teams were competing this week in Oregon when one player hit the ball out of the park but couldn’t make it around the bases.  Apparently her leg gave out from under her and she couldn’t run.  It’s against the rules for one of her teammates to run for her.  When a member of the opposing team realized what was happening she opted to carry the young woman around the bases so that her run would count (and as it turned out it was the winning run).  When asked why she did such a generous thing, she said she always learned it wasnt’ about winning or losing but about how you play the game.  On the one hand, I love the fact that the young woman who came to the rescue showed compassion for her opponent.  On the other hand, I know that this exact same behavior in the workplace causes adult women to miss out on their fair share of pay, benefits, opportunities, etc.  As women, we must differentiate when compassion is called for and when it’s OK to compete to win.  Relying only on behaviors taught in childhood to the exclusion of having other “tricks up your sleeve” is a receipe for ultimate failure.  Be compassionate.  Be generous of spirit.  But also know when — and how — to play hardball. 

TAGS: competition, girls and sports, playing hardball, playing to win, sportsmanship

Hannah from Australia

A reader from Australia sent this picture of her daughter, Hannah.  She says she cannot get Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich out of Hannah’s hands (despite the fact that Hannah can’t yet read).  Well I say, you can never start them too young learning about money and leading. 

I’m often asked what parents can do to raise self-confident daughters.  Besides putting a copy of my books in her hands before the age of three, here are more practical tips to consider:

1.  Read Nurture by Nature.  Based on the Myers Briggs personality profiles, it will help you to understand the basic nature of your child and allow you to nurture it.  The authors believe that self-confidence comes from being allowed to follow your true nature.

2.  Give your daughters an allowance from an early age.  Even if it’s only a small amount, teach your daughters the importance of money and how to save, invest, and spend it.  While you’re at it, teach them that when it’s gone, it’s gone.  No mid-week advances that are later forgiven. That’s not the real world.

3.  Enroll your daughter in individual and team sports.  It can be a sport of her choice, but it’s important to learn how to compete to win and how to be a member of a team. 

4.  Consider an all girls school.  Studies show that girls who graduate from same-sex schools are more confident and more likely to be future leaders than those who attend co-ed schools. 

5.  Sign your daughter up for a self-defense class.  Not only will she be able to physically protect herself, but the lessons learned will translate into confidence in other arenas too. 

TAGS: girls and money, girls and same sex schools, girls and sports, Raising Girls, self-defense