Politics aside, Adam Nagourney’s piece on John McCain’s management style in Sunday’s New York Times made me think of bad bosses.  He reports that Jill Hazelbaker, McCain’s campaign spokeswoman, had a strong reaction to the fact that McCain had thrown her under the bus by publicly disagreeing with her when she implemented a strategy he had previously agreed to. Reportedly, Hazelbaker was so displeased that she refused to take his apology call. 

You too may have had the experience of having to deal with a boss who says one thing in private and something else in public, particularly when things get tough. You know, the boss who says, “Tell that client we won’t budge on the price!” but caves when the client calls him directly. Or the boss who tells you that you have 15 minutes on the agenda to present at the meeting but interrupts you after only five minutes have elapsed.

What to do when it happens again?

• Don’t react in the moment. Take a deep breath. Do not show your frustration in your tone of voice or body language either.
• Reflect carefully. Is this a one-time mistake or, as it seems it is in McCain’s case, a recurring pattern? If it is the former and not too grievous, you may decide to ignore it and move on. If it is a pattern, you’ve got a problem.
• Try to figure out why he/she did it. Did he simply forget what you had agreed to? Did she change her mind because she got more information? Or did he decide to save himself at your expense?
• Decide how, when and where to broach the subject. Usually, face to face meetings are the best choice but an email or phone call may be your method of choice in some situations. Pick a time (after you’ve cooled down) when you can get his/her uninterrupted attention and when you won’t feel rushed. Meet in a quiet place where you can have a private conversation.

Two days later, a follow-up Nagourney article on McCain’s campaign, identified the spokesperson as Brian Rogers ─ I wonder what happened to Hazelbaker? If you often find yourself under the bus, you may want to find a new boss. It’s not healthy to breathe exhaust fumes regularly!

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, Coaching Tips, dealing with passive aggressive people, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate, loyalty at work, politics at work, self-esteem, Women at Work, Women In the Professions

Let’s take another lesson from Hillary Clinton’s campaign. It is beginning to remind me of when I used to think that fairness counts to everyone. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve frequently heard women, including myself when I was younger, arguing that an action taken in hiring, firing, denying a promotion or promoting someone wasn’t fair. After all, another individual was more experienced or had worked harder. Having studied persuasion at length, even back then, I should have known that just because fairness matters in many walks of life, doesn’t mean it matters at work to people making the decisions. They may care more about how well a person “fits” or whether he or she is likely to facilitate their goals.

Hillary Clinton has been emphasizing her experience because it should matter. But clearly it doesn’t matter to a lot of people right now. They just want a change. And to them experience is too closely allied to doing things the old way. Like it or not, this is what has happened. And it has taken her by surprise.

An important lesson for everyone is here, but especially for women who tend to think that arguments about fundamental values should win out over less substantial ones. What matters varies across organizations and over time. We’ve seen in George W. Bush’s administration an overriding emphasis on loyalty. Perhaps that is the case where you work.

The lesson: Never assume that just because a standard of evaluating worth should matter where you work that it actually does. Find out what matters. Then perhaps you’ll be able to argue in their language and link what you do to what they care about. Otherwise, they’ll simply tune you out.

TAGS: Fairness at work, Hillary Clinton's experience lesson, loyalty at work, speaking their language