Despite the growing informality in the workplace, the Golden Rule of Management still prevails: He or she who has the gold sets the rules. The degree to which you work within the boundaries established by the boss, and adapt to different bosses, largely determines your ultimate success in the organization.

Here are three secrets for successfully managing up:

1.  The boss wants you to do your job and make his or her job easier. Every reasonable request should be met with a can do attitude.  If you really can’t do it, however, you need to let the boss know in a way that demonstrates you’re seeking a solution to how it can get done, not presenting an obstacle to doing it.

2.  Never embarrass the boss. If you want to disagree, do so in private.  Don’t expect the boss to always take your advice.  And, even if it turns out you were right, never say “I told you so”.

3.  Don’t burden the boss with you personal problems  no matter how patient, enlightened and understanding the boss appears. The best bosses make allowances now and then, but you shouldn’t dwell on your personal problems at work. It will ultimately undermine the perception that you are fit and ready for duty.

TAGS: managing up, managing your boss

A basic tenet of motivational theory is that you delegate a project, but not the process.  Unfortunately, too many managers missed this point in their Management 101 class (if they took it at all) and de-motivate staff members by dictating not only what needs to be done but how it should be done as well.  By nature, human beings want to do a good job, want to use their fullest professional capacities, and — believe it or not – want to please their bosses.  Although women take this pleasing thing a bit too far if you ask me. 

So how do you keep up your enthusiasm and stay motivated with a micromanager boss?  Try one of these suggestions:

• Negotiate periodic updates.  Bosses often micromanage because they become anxious when they don’t know what’s happening and if a deadline will be met.  When you’re given a project, ask the boss how often he or she wants to be updated and in what format (e-mail reports, face-to-face meetings, etc.).  Set specific dates and provide those to the boss with the promise you’ll inititate the update without prompting.  Then deliver on your promise.
• Brainstorm strategies before diving into a project.  Nothing is more frustrating than eagerly taking off down one road only to have the boss say you’re on the wrong highway entirely.  If you know your boss is a micromanager, ask for time to first review the parameters of the projects then meet to discuss how you will go about achieving the deliverables.  Ask how he or she would do it and indicate your willingness to try out some of these suggestions. 
• Identify learning opportunities.  The good news abot micromanager bosses is that you can actually learn from them.  They may do things differently than you would, but that presents the chance to explore facets of a project that you may never have before considered.  If you can get yourself into a “learning” place, it will cut down on your frustration.
• Ask for the opportunity to try out new methodologies.   Bosses sometimes cling to old ways of doing things because they know they work and don’t like surprises.  Try it first on a project that has a long lead time — you can always say you’d like to try out a new method and, if long before the due date it looks like it’s not working, you’ll revert to the tried and trued.
• Find external outlets for your energy and creativity.  The workplace isn’t the only place you can take the ball and run with it.  PTA, volunteer efforts, and professional associations are places that value independent efforts. 

Of course you can always ask for a transfer or quit, but your best best in these situations is to wait out the boss.  Sooner or later most move on.

TAGS: employee motivation, managing up, micromanager bosses

After a keynote I did last night a young woman came up to me and asked how to make a good first impression with a new boss.  She’s transferring from a division in Los Angeles to one in San Francisco and wants to make sure she gets off on the right foot.  The only thing she knows about the new boss is that others say she’s somewhat of a micromanager. Here’s what I told her:

Even though it’s the same company, there will be new rules, boundaries and strategies at the new locale.  There are three things to do soon after arrival:

• Learn the boss’ priorities and make them your own.  Tell the boss you’re excited about this new opportunity and want to do everything possible to add value as soon as possible.  Then ask the question, “What are the three most important things I can do to help you achieve your goals?”  This isn’t about “kissing up” it’s about “managing up.” 
• Ask your new colleagues about the boss’ hot buttons.   Identify the person who has been in the department the longest and who is most successful.  In a casual setting, such as over lunch or coffee, ask for tips on how to best meet the boss’ expectations. You can say something like, “You’ve been here a lot longer than me and I’m wondering if you would give me some tips on what to do — and not do — to provide our boss with the kinds of deliverables she expects.”  Then just listen.  Regardless of the answer, you’ll learn something valuable.  Also ask the person if there’s anyone else you should talk to in order to gain more insight into success factors in your department. 
• Be a good observer and extraordinary listener.  You’re looking for clues as to what’s expected on your new playing field.  Does the boss like frequent updates?  How does she like them delivered — in person or through e-mail?  Is she someone who focuses more on concepts or details?  In meetings does she invite discussion or only want to give direction?  If she is indeed a micromanager, you know what to expect so go with the flow. 

In short, don’t expect that what worked for you at your last job or with your former boss will work with the new one.  Too many people view bosses as one dimensional and lump them into one category: management. In fact, there are as many boss styles as there are bosses.  Don’t be afraid to ask your boss how you can add value.

TAGS: changing jobs, dealing with a new boss, managing up

Not long ago I went to a funeral for the father of a colleague.  When my colleague stood up to eulogize his Dad he said, “He may not have been the Dad I wanted but he was the Dad I needed.”  Those  in attendance gasped, but I thought it was a great line.  I understood perfectly what he was saying.  Their personalities were not the best suited to one another but he learned many important lessons from the Dad who loved him as best he could.

The same holds true in the workplace.  Our bosses are not always best suited to our personalities or our developmental needs. Not every boss — not even most bosses — are proficient at giving us the coaching and mentoring we need.   But that doesn’t mean they can’t be invaluable contributors to our careers.  Here are some suggestions for getting the most out of your boss/direct report relationship:

• Look for complementarity.  We sometimes don’t appreciate the boss who has a different skill set than our own.  Are you a big picture thinker with a boss who focuses on details?  If so, much to your dismay, the boss may be constantly reminding you to fill in the gaps. But in the long-run you will learn more valuable behaviors and skills than you will from a boss who is just like you.
• Capitalize on the bad.  So many people have told me that they learned a lot from bad bosses.  They learned what they did not want to do, things they would not emulate, and behaviors they would prefer to focus on.  If you’ve got a bad boss analyze is or her behaviors and identify those that you will not include in your repertoire.
• Cut the boss some slack.  If you can see your boss as a human being first and a boss second you just might be able to forgive some of his or her transgressions.  Maybe she’s intimidated by senior management and too quick to agree to unreasonable requests — that later fall on your shoulders.  Or perhaps he’s conflict averse and won’t step in when mediation is needed.  Understanding the boss’ limitations enables you to develop an alternative game plan.
• Ask for what you need.  We’ve talked about this before.  Don’t just ask for feedback.  Ask what you can do more or less of to be even more effective in your role.  This gives the boss a broader array of behaviors to describe than just, “You’re doing fine” in response to the question, “How am I doing?”
• Seek alternative mentoring and coaching.  So the boss isn’t such a great coach or mentor.  Stop lamenting the fact and look for others who can teach you what you need to learn to round out your resume or skill set.  Whether it’s a formal or informal relationship, whether it’s direct or observational, you can get what you need from someone other than you boss.   

TAGS: Coaches, Developing your skills, Getting feedback, managing up, mentors

One of the stereotypes of younger workers is that they have no respect for the chain of command.  When the boss of a Baby Boomer said “jump” the Boomer replied “how high?”  Today, the response is “why?”  I don’t think it’s that Gen X and Gen Y don’t respect authority, I think they’re just more comfortable questioning directives and probing to understand the big picture.  In any case, there are a number of ways you might unknowingly break the chain of command and find yourself in corporate Siberia:

• Publicly disagree with the boss’ position on an issue.
• Attempt to build relationships with your boss’ peers or managers.
• Take on assignments given by others without letting the boss know.
• Schedule meetings high profile clients or senior executives and not invite the boss.
• Go to HR to challenge a decision made by the boss.

Don’t kid yourself.  Your company may espouse an open door policy at all levels or encourage differences of opinion, but the “food chain” still matters to many managers.  To steer clear of giving the appearance of not respecting the corporate hierarchy follow these tips:

• Never argue with the boss in public.  It will only come back to bite you.  Even if it seems he or she has a thick skin, disagree in private.
• Respond to every management request with a positive, upbeat, can-do attitude.  Once you make it clear you want to be of help you can always negotiate dues dates or required resources.
• Don’t surprise the boss.  Egg doesn’t look good on the boss’ face and it’s not a good ingredient for career success.  You don’t have to let the boss know everything you’re doing but a weekly update on routine matters and more immediate contact when something seems explosive is appropriate.  And if there’s a crisis — you be the one to tell the boss.  Don’t let him or her find it out from someone else first. 
• Think twice about circumventing the chain of command.  Again, there may be grievance or complaint processes in place but once you get the ball rolling there’s no stopping it.  Make sure you’re complaining about something that’s important enough for you to take the heat if it comes along.
• Remember the wounded elephant syndrome.  I once coached a client who reported to a totally incompetent boss.  She got very little direction and lots of criticism.  She knew it and senior management knew it.  When she received a marginal performance review she expected to get support from senior management but she didn’t.  Instead, they all protected the wounded elephant (her boss) not the employee. 

TAGS: chain of command, Gen Y Women, managing up, managing your boss

       Last week Lindsey and I talked about how to get a job in this economic climate.  Today I want to address how to keep a job.  The term “high maintenance” is frequently used to describe people who may add value, but are difficult to work with.  When a manager tells me someone on their team is high maintenance I know the staff member’s days are numbered.  Examples of this behavior include:

• The inability to get along with others.
• The constant need for praise or attention.
• Being a bull in a china shop.
• Overly argumentative.
• Highly emotional.
• Requiring an inordinate degree of supervision or direction.
• Overly critical.
• Abrasive.

The list goes on, but you get the picture.  Particularly in this job market you don’t want to be labeled “high maintenance.”  Too many women go to the opposite extreme and stay under the radar screen.  That’s no way to walk the Thin Pink Line.  Here are some simple tips to ensure you are perceived as adding value without being a nuisance:

• Offer critique without being critical.  Look for the upside of ideas and proposals and affirm those before expressing an alternative viewpoint.  For example, “I like that this idea will provide our customers with additional on-line capabilities.  I’d also like to see us incorporate a more robust system of tracking changes.”
• Hone your active listening skills.  The emphasis here is on the active.  Listening isn’t a passive process, but many women act as though it is.  Active listening is one of the easiest ways to boost your likeability quotient.  It involves three behaviors: listening, paraphrasing and asking questions before you share your thoughts or opinion.  Check out this article to get your started. 
• Take initiative.  It’s not that women are lazy or lack initiative, it’s that they’re often afraid they’ll be seen as too pushy or overstepping the boundary of their authority if they act independently.  Take a lesson from the guys you work with and follow the maxim it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. 
• Get 360 degree feedback.  Ask your HR department to help you collect feedback so that you can see yourself as others see you.  People are often surprised when they think they’re being assertive but others perceive them as passive — or worse, passive aggressive.  If this kind of feedback isn’t common in your place of employment, then read between the lines of your performance review.  Bosses often understate development areas that need attention.
• Manage up (not to be confused with kissing up).  Observe and listen carefully to your boss and other executives with whom you frequently interact to learn their goals and hot buttons.  Tie your objectives to theirs and avoid the hot spots.  Bosses are only human and if you help them to achieve their goals with the least “noise” necessary you’ll be viewed as a valuable resource.

TAGS: active listening, feedback, high maintenance employees, managing up, mindtools.com

The fat has been trimmed.  We’re down to the bare bones.  If you’re still employed consider yourself fortunate.  On a single day last week 60,000 jobs were lost.  And how are employers selecting those who stay and those who go?  Essential skills?  Keep the hardest workers? Longevity or tenure?  Those may be a few factors that go into management’s decision-making but there’s another one that people don’t talk about that’s just weighted just as much, if not more, heavily: likeability and the ability to build strong relationships.   You’ve heard me say many times, when you need a relationship it’s too late to build it,  but the importance may be more obvious to you now.  Especially if you didn’t have those relationships in place when you needed them. 

Many employers are using the economic downturn to weed out people who just don’t fit in.  They may call it a recession-related lay-off but as I’ve said before, if only one or two people are laid off in a mid to large sized company that’s no lay-off.  It’s housecleaning.  Chances are the people who were let go were the same ones who used to say either out loud or to themselves, “I refuse to play the game.”  That “game” is nothing more sinister than building relationships. 

In our Thin Pink Line survey it’s one of the things a number of women talked about — the fact that they didn’t fit into the boys club.  You don’t have to be a member of the club to stay on track.  Whether you’re still employed or wondering why you were tapped for separation here are 3 basic truths you must heed to enhance the likelihood of workplace longevity:

Truth #1.  Managing Up is Critical.   The boss is human and wants direct  reports that are low maintenance (no whining, self-starters, take feedback well), supportive, and pleasant to be around.  You may not be on the golf course or at the local pub with your boss, but this doesn’t mean you can’t invite her to lunch, drop by his office for casual conversation, or  forward articles that you know will be of both personal and professional interest.  Don’t know what would be of personal interest?  Shame on you… find out.  Managing up is not the same as kissing up. 

Truth #2.  You need advocates throughout the organization.  These are people who say positive things about you to others.  They’re your internal fan club.  You develop advocacy by being an advocate for others (this is the law of reciprocity); going out of your way to meet special requests — and letting people know that you’re doing it because you value your relationship with them; and being visible to senior management (which means you speak up in meetings and  make presentations even thought you’re uncomfortable doing so).

Truth #3.  External networks are just as important as internal ones. Being connected with people outside of your company benefits you in a number of ways:  you are able to make introductions or bring in talent at just the right time; having external resources means you don’t have to reinvent the wheel; you will be in the loop for the hidden job market — those jobs that are never advertised but are discussed in networking circles. 

It may be counterintuitive, especially for women who think working harder is better, but this is not the time to hunker down at your desk.  Yes, you have to show that you add value through your work, but spending a portion of each and every day building 360 degree relationships is just as important.

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, how to survive the recession, managing up, managing your career

If you work for a large company it’s likely that performance reviews are conducted annually (sometimes even more often) and the raise you receive is contingent upon the rating or comments contained in that review.  Most employees wait until they’re asked to provide input into how they will be rated rather than taking a proactive stance.  Don’t be one of these people.  Consider these ways to influence the outcome of your performance review:

1.  All through the year when you’re given a pat on the back or a note of praise from a co-worker, client, or customer keep those kudos in an “atta gal” file and forward select ones to your boss.  Attach a short note that says something to the effect, “I wanted to share this with you so that you’ll know the customer service training I attended is paying off!” or “As you can see, the team has exceeded our client’s expectations on this aspect of the project.” 

2.  Ask trusted customers or clients to share their kind words with your boss.  If  someone gives you a compliment it doesn’t hurt to say, “I really appreciate the feedback.  When you have a minute to do so I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with my boss.”  If necessary, write down your boss’s e-mail and give it to the person.  Most people are more than happy to oblige and never mention that you prompted them to do so.

3.  Six to eight weeks before the scheduled review prepare a list of your achievements.  Wherever possible include how they contributed to the company’s bottom-line.  For example, you conducted training that would have cost $15,000 if outside consultants were used or you successfully filled three vacancies that would have cost tens of thousands of dollars in headhunter fees.  You might also include more of those “atta gals” you kept on file.  Attach a note that indicates you know the annual performance review is coming up and thought the summary would be helpful in preparing yours. 

The most important thing is to call attention to your achievements in subtle ways and not wait to be noticed.  Once the review is written, it’s very difficult to get a boss or HR to make significant changes.  Your best shot for a good evaluation and raise is to engage in impression management all year long.

TAGS: getting the respect you deserve, impression management, managing up, Performance reviews, raises

It seems that women may not be “opting out” as much as they are being laid off.  According to a Congressional report issued on Tuesday, women have become as vulnerable as men are to losing their jobs during economic downturns.  Not exactly the kind of news for either men or women to celebrate since a typical family relies on the wife for more than one third of its income.

While we can’t control what happens on a macro level (although we can certainly pay attention to policies those running for office propose  and vote accordingly), we can help ourselves even in a difficult economy.

Lois offered some great advice last month; I’d like to expand on some of her points and disagree with another: (more…)

TAGS: adding value, bosses, managing up, managing your career, surviving downsizing

Today’s economy has made the workplace more competitive than ever.   Financial services firms, retailers, and even your neighborhood Starbuck’s are feeling the crunch.  You can increase the likelihood of not just surviving in this economy, but thriving by being the kind of employee who adds value and is also a delight to work with.   Try following these ten simple steps to increase the likelihood of being bullet proof:

1.    Make it easy to give you feedback by regularly asking what you can do “more of” or “less of” to better meet the boss’s expectations. 

2.    When you are given feedback, don’t rebut it or argue with it.  Simply listen, thank the boss for taking the time to give it to you and promise that you will take it seriously.  Then act in ways that show you got the message. 

3.    Learn the boss’s primary objectives and develop your own goals around those.   Be certain to illuminate how your actions are in sync with his or hers.  Making the boss look good makes you look good.

4.    Don’t cry on the boss’s shoulder.  Even though some appear very kind and understanding, bosses really don’t want to play the role of psychologist.  If you do break down in front of the boss, excuse yourself and do your boo-hooing in the ladies room. 

5.    Never try to change the boss.  It’s not your job.  You can (and should) ask for what you need to be effective (more time together, more feedback, etc.) but whether or not you get it is entirely up to the boss.

6.    Distinguish your boss from your parents, husband or other meaningful people in your life.  Many times women react to the boss as they might to a parent because the boss is an authority figure of sorts.  This can result in you misinterpreting the boss’s behavior or comments. 

7.    See your boss as a human being, not a one-dimensional entity.  The boss is bound to make mistakes, let you down, and have his or her own problems too.  Don’t put bosses on a pedestal — they’ll always tumble off.  Be as forgiving as you would want the boss to be with you.

8.    Deliver more than you promise.  Make certain you meet or beat deadlines, submit work free from errors, and go the extra mile to interpret data, not just report it.

9.    Avoid being a “high maintenance” employee.  Too many complaints, too many challenges, or being too needy will put you in this category.  As one CEO said, “I like it when people push once and push twice.  Three times is too many.”

10. If  you’ve done all the things described above and you still don’t trust your boss, if the boss is making your life miserable, or if it’s clear your boss doesn’t trust you, you have only three options: wait the boss out until a new one comes in; transfer to another department within your company; quit.  It’s that simple. 

TAGS: adding value, bosses, managing up, managing your career, surviving downsizing