I read a disturbing statistic the other day─ people are much more likely (almost 50% more likely) to lie when using email to communicate than they are when using snail mail. Hmmm. The results of study were published in a paper titled, “Being Honest Online: The Finer Points of Lying in Ultimatum Bargaining”, co-authored by Lubia Belkin (Lehigh University), Terri Kurtzberg (Rutgers University) and Charles Naquin (DePaul University).
Kurtzberg commented:
“These findings are consistent with our other work that shows that e-mail communication decreases the amount of trust and cooperation we see in professional group-work, and increases the negativity in performance evaluations, all as opposed to pen-and-paper systems. People seem to feel more justified in acting in self-serving ways when typing as opposed to writing.”
While the sample size was small (48 MBA students at Lehigh University) and the findings limited to comparing email with traditional written communication, it made me wonder about implications for negotiation.
I’ve been concerned for awhile that the ubiquitous use of email as a method for people to communicate means that all too often, rather than pick up the phone or meet n person, people negotiate via email. I’ve asked groups with whom I’ve spoken why this is case.
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TAGS: email, Negotiation, negotiators
You’ve probably been stuck in traffic as we were yesterday, driving from Manhattan to Long Island on the Long Island Expressway, a highway that has been called “the world’s longest parking lot”. As my husband drove (he is an excellent driver- no sudden stops or gratuitous lane changing), I started thinking about negotiation - believe it or not, I made some connections:
- We’ve driven this same route many, many times before; we know the road. When you have experience, you can anticipate the bottlenecks and adjust accordingly. Even when you are in new territory, you can check the map before you begin the journey. When you negotiate, think about the issues that are likely to cause a slowdown and some creative ways you might be able to get around them.
- Speeding up and slowing down usually doesn’t get you there any faster- and directly correlates to spikes in blood pressure. Trying to get too much done in any negotiation meeting also can backfire - a steady pace allows you and the other party to accomplish more in less time, with less stress.
- While you don’t know which of the other drivers will behave badly, you can be sure that some will. Reacting in kind is not only counter-productive, it is downright dangerous. If emotions weren’t such a big factor in negotiations, people would much more easily come to agreement (consider divorce settlements as an extreme example!). Before you start a negotiation, know your own emotional triggers and try to learn as much as you can about the other party’s as well.
While these tips won’t make the traffic (or the issues to be resolved) magically disappear, getting there will be easier.
TAGS: negotiators, women and anger
Recently, I gave a talk at the Atlanta Women’s Network Women Up 2008 event. It was a wonderful experience for me to work with people who worked so well with one another.
They asked me to provide 3 key words about negotiation that would coordinate with their principles (in bold):
”I am able.”
We’ve been taught that there are rules for business and that these rules are absolute: always ~ never. Applying artificial rules makes a difficult situation even more stressful.
We are able to succeed at negotiation by retaining authenticity. Authenticity yields confidence. (more…)
TAGS: atlanta women, authenticity, Building workplace relationships, gaining confidence, negotiators, relationship
