I have such mixed feelings about this true story. Two college women’s softball teams were competing this week in Oregon when one player hit the ball out of the park but couldn’t make it around the bases.  Apparently her leg gave out from under her and she couldn’t run.  It’s against the rules for one of her teammates to run for her.  When a member of the opposing team realized what was happening she opted to carry the young woman around the bases so that her run would count (and as it turned out it was the winning run).  When asked why she did such a generous thing, she said she always learned it wasnt’ about winning or losing but about how you play the game.  On the one hand, I love the fact that the young woman who came to the rescue showed compassion for her opponent.  On the other hand, I know that this exact same behavior in the workplace causes adult women to miss out on their fair share of pay, benefits, opportunities, etc.  As women, we must differentiate when compassion is called for and when it’s OK to compete to win.  Relying only on behaviors taught in childhood to the exclusion of having other “tricks up your sleeve” is a receipe for ultimate failure.  Be compassionate.  Be generous of spirit.  But also know when — and how — to play hardball. 

TAGS: competition, girls and sports, playing hardball, playing to win, sportsmanship

Carol’s insights about leadership led me to think about this topic. As Carol explains, there are a variety of leadership forms and each is more or less suited to particular types of situations. None works for all. But I learned as a youngish woman that having an edge and people knowing you can employ it is very useful.  Most of the time, being able to “do hardball,” as the title above implies, is more important and more useful than doing it. There is something to be said for keeping unsavory people a little unsure of you, not quite able to predict if you will counter in kind or cleverly an insult or offense. They tread somewhat lighter, watch what they say a little bit more carefully. And that can pay big political and professional dividends.

I devoted a fair amount of space in The Secret Handshake and It’s All Politics to examples of comebacks — ways of asserting yourself and advancing your ideas in the face of opposition. Some are graceful, others clever, still others direct and some aggressive. Versatility is key, especially if you work in a highly political environment. Knowing how to lead without being commanding is critical to success. Knowing how to hit back when it really counts is too.

TAGS: Leadership, playing hardball, Politics, versatility