Politics aside, Adam Nagourney’s piece on John McCain’s management style in Sunday’s New York Times made me think of bad bosses.  He reports that Jill Hazelbaker, McCain’s campaign spokeswoman, had a strong reaction to the fact that McCain had thrown her under the bus by publicly disagreeing with her when she implemented a strategy he had previously agreed to. Reportedly, Hazelbaker was so displeased that she refused to take his apology call. 

You too may have had the experience of having to deal with a boss who says one thing in private and something else in public, particularly when things get tough. You know, the boss who says, “Tell that client we won’t budge on the price!” but caves when the client calls him directly. Or the boss who tells you that you have 15 minutes on the agenda to present at the meeting but interrupts you after only five minutes have elapsed.

What to do when it happens again?

• Don’t react in the moment. Take a deep breath. Do not show your frustration in your tone of voice or body language either.
• Reflect carefully. Is this a one-time mistake or, as it seems it is in McCain’s case, a recurring pattern? If it is the former and not too grievous, you may decide to ignore it and move on. If it is a pattern, you’ve got a problem.
• Try to figure out why he/she did it. Did he simply forget what you had agreed to? Did she change her mind because she got more information? Or did he decide to save himself at your expense?
• Decide how, when and where to broach the subject. Usually, face to face meetings are the best choice but an email or phone call may be your method of choice in some situations. Pick a time (after you’ve cooled down) when you can get his/her uninterrupted attention and when you won’t feel rushed. Meet in a quiet place where you can have a private conversation.

Two days later, a follow-up Nagourney article on McCain’s campaign, identified the spokesperson as Brian Rogers ─ I wonder what happened to Hazelbaker? If you often find yourself under the bus, you may want to find a new boss. It’s not healthy to breathe exhaust fumes regularly!

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, Coaching Tips, dealing with passive aggressive people, Leaving a bad boss or a job you hate, loyalty at work, politics at work, self-esteem, Women at Work, Women In the Professions

Someone liked my pony story so much that she asked me to share the pig story that I wrote about in See Jane Lead.  This was a story a friend told me when I was upset about losing a rather large contract and had no idea why.  In a barnyard filled with animals the crow challenges the blue bird to a singing contest.  The blue bird figured it would be a pretty easy win.  After all, there’s no comparison in how the two birds sing.  Together, the crow and the blue bird decide the pig will be the judge of the contest.  The blue bird goes first and magnificently sings her little heart out.  All of the other barnyard animals smile, nod and applaud at the conclusion of her song.  Then the crow sings — in the screeching way that crows do — and the barnyard is silent.  Finally, the pig steps forward and breaks the silence.  “And the winner of the contest is… the crow!”  With this the blue bird begins to sob and many of the other animals surround her reassuring her that she sang so much better than the crow and should have won the contest.  When she finally composed herself enough to speak, the blue bird says, “I’m not crying because I lost the contest.  I’m crying because I let myself be judged by a pig.” 

TAGS: self-esteem