Building on Carol’s blog this past Monday, Fortune magazine “Ask Annie” columnist, Anne Fisher, interviewed me for an article to coincide with their 50 Most Powerful Women issue.  Yes, we’ll know we’ve really come a long way when we no longer need such articles.  With that said, Anne Fisher’s article focuses on redefining power in a way that makes it more palatable for women to embrace it.  I hope you’ll take a minute to read the entire piece, but for now, let me make just three points to move you one step closer to being the leader you want to become:

• Leadership is not a title or a power bestowed on you.  It’s what you do every day to provide direction, make a difference, and add value.  Observe and give yourself credit for the ways in which you lead all the time.
• Power is not to be hoarded — it’s to be shared.  The most powerful people I know (many of them women) constantly share their power with the understanding that this creates synergies that yield exponentially more than doing things alone.  Sharing powering is not threatening to them because they understand that heros go it alone, leaders get the job done by influencing, understanding, and motivating others.
• Finish this sentence:  “I am a leader who…” .  Write it down.  What do you want people to be saying about you and your leadership style?  Now make that a reality by consistently acting in the way you want to be described. 

TAGS: Anne Fisher, Fortune magazine, powerful women, women and power

But you’ve got to say “no” sometimes and accept that the other person isn’t going to be happy.  I had to do it twice last week — and I did not enjoy it.  Nonetheless, I realized that my interests would not be met if I said yes.

One of the ways women can get in our own way is to try to make others happy at our own expense. Way too often we are so focused on building relationships with others that we forget that we too should expect — and get — consideration. (more…)

TAGS: Building workplace relationships, communication, Communication Skills, negotiation skills, Political skills, Risk-taking, ways to work healthy, women, women and power, Women at Work, Women In the Professions, women leaders

Last week, I gave a talk at the Atlanta Women’s Network Women Up 2008 event. The timing was in conjunction with International Women’s Day (March 8). They asked me to provide 3 key words about
negotiation that would coordinate with their principles:

“I am able.”

For this, I suggested the word, “authenticity”.

When you negotiate with people with whom you have an ongoing relationship, be authentic.  Be real.  Be yourself.

Authenticity makes you able.

“I have the tools.”

Here, the word is “preparation”.  Successful negotiators spend time planning.  They just don’t to wing it. The right  preparation makes all the difference between success and failure.

“I will shape the future.”

For this most important principle, I offered the word “proactive” .  You must proactively negotiate for what you want; you can’t just hope for it.

You will shape the future, not only for yourself but for others as well when you negotiate what you want and deserve.

TAGS: negotiating pay, Self-trust, women and power, women leaders

An author’s blog, www.basilandspice.com asked me to write a posting related to women and leadership.  Of course I couldn’t resist the opportunity to get the word out that I believe we live in a time when women’s leadership is not just needed, it’s essential if we want to save the world from war, famine, random acts of violence, corporate greed, etc.  But an interesting thing happened as I was writing it.  I found myself becoming angrier and angrier at just how hard it really is to get women’s voices to the leadership table.  Polls conducted last year indicated that America was more ready for an African American president than a woman.  If you take a look at the polls today it seems they were right.  Only 33% of men voted for Hillary in the primaries.  Then I thought about the Supreme Court, founded in 1790.  That’s 218 years and we can’t do better than one woman and one person of color on a court that decides which laws apply to a mult-cultural society? I won’t even quote the numbers of women on corporate boards and in CEO positions — we all know how lousy those figures are.  What’s a woman to do?  She’s to make her voice heard by courageously challenging the status quo.  If we aren’t part of the solution, we’re part of the problem.  I’m not suggesting that we make better leaders than men, but I do know we make different leaders.  For too long we’ve bought into the nonsense that what makes us different makes us less effectual in leadership roles.  Oh yeah?  Tell that to Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Meg Whitman, Indira Gandhi, Wilma Mankiller, and Rosa Parks.  Just remember this — every time you back down because someone suggests you’re being too emotional, too aggressive, not aggressive enough, or not qualified because you’re a woman you collude with a system that wants to maintain status quo (that’s what a system is — something that perpetuates itself).  The only possible reason why people would want to hold you back or keep you quiet is because you’re right — and baby, that means you’re powerful.  It’s like I told the guy on line behind me in Trader Joe’s the other day who was making nasty remarks about my Hillary for President cap (it was a bad hair day):  I don’t care if Hillary or Obama wins the election — anyone but another old white man. 

TAGS: Hillary Clinton, Supreme Court, women and power, women leaders